• Member Since 17th Jul, 2023
  • offline last seen April 4th

AndrewGamerGL


T

Flash Sentry is a Hardworking and determined Pony, always doing his best, but after coming off from a rough childhood, and the struggles he puts up with life, as well as not being given any important jobs to do, he begins to question if everything he has done to that point is worth the sacrifice. As Flash tries to find his meaning and purpose, he also finds himself in love with a Princess, will everything be worth it for the Yellow colored Pegasai? Or will it all be for nothing and he'll just become "Forgotten"

Chapters (24)
Comments ( 5 )

I really hope that his dad won't sell his son to be able to leave the city.

How can Shining Armor do that to Flash and Twilight's happiness?

11676202
He believes he was doing it because he cares about how it made Twilight look. But in the moment, he only cared about how it made him look.

Ehhh Twilight? - Ruler of all of Equestria here...just tell your brother he can suck D, literally:facehoof:

Right, so:

  • Paragraphs should contain multiple sentences, not just one enormous run-on sentence.
  • Perhaps this will get better with later (non-prolouge) chapters, but there is way too much telling and not enough showing.
  • Some of the diction is far too informal for a non-involved narrator. For example, "cause in Canterlot" should be "because in Canterlot". Narration is not casual unless the narrator is a character (and even then, the narration is still usually formal).
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