Twilight Sparkle is receiving a newly appointed group of guards to Ponyville after her peers realize just how many dangerous ponies she’s taken in. She’s surprised when she discovers that the Captain of this new guard is none other than Flash Sentry, who she still has a crush on, and wants to explore a relationship with.
Alas, to her disappointment, Flash Sentry is only interested in learning about Friendship, because once he graduates he can retire and live a peaceful life.
Will Twilight be able to capture the heart of her guard? Or will the princess of Friendship remain in the friend zone?
Chapters (1)
Not only did you do this annoying gag. So, you want pony x who is busy, but we somehow foresaw you being like that, so she is here to convince you anyway once but twice. You want this plot to happen fine, but there are better ways to do it like actually just have him agree from the get-go instead of this contrived only if you bring in this pony that the ones trying to convince him say are usually busy, but they are magically here to get you to agree, despite them being stunned he refused in the first place. This whole set up is messy and really feels arbitrary.
I find it funny how all the princesses (apart from Twi) appeared.
And how they asked the same question.
How in the world did a jealous Brony’s letter actually make it from our world into that stack? I smell a Q
Love Hot Fuzz! Nice way to honor it
11192389
Thank you, that was the original intent I had when writing this out, but I wanted it to make sense in terms of Flash’s motivation. Flash doesn’t want to go to ponyville so he has to go up the chain of command just to end up going to ponyville.
11192365
Beats me, all I know is that Flash only concerns himself with complaints that offer constructive criticism.
11191944
Nice to know you got a laugh out of it, I was really concerned that people would take it too seriously, so it’s comforting knowing it made someone laugh. Or just exhale audibly from your nose, either one is a win for me.
I'm really excited for the next chapter! You did a great job with this one, I thought it was really funny! I suppose I haven't seen that trope as much as that person who criticized it, but I thought it was done well here anyway. He didn't just reject everyone's demands point blank, and was slowly going through the process the more they appeared. I also like his reasonings.. He's unlike the Equestria Girl's Flash Sentry, which I think is good... I wonder how he and Twilight will develope!
Why are they forcing him?! Dude just wants to live his life alone like a hermit.
11192427
Yet you failed to make it believable for the chain of command to get him there. They are stunned he refused and state they are busy, but they are here anyway. It feels contrived when they each meet him one at a time only after he refused. If they showed up to see him why not all at once? What would have happened if he hadn't refused or agree sooner? Would he not have met them and seen them? Making them be there pointless. Like I said it feels arbitrary which ruins the joke. You can be like you are taking it seriously, but you shouldn't sacrifice good internal logic just for a forced arbitrary gag and that isn't getting into the moral issue of them cornering him to do so, while having the gall to act like they aren't forcing him. Cadance simply used her authority to make him take a promotion he didn't want and tried to prevent him from seeing this clause about learning about friendship which they only told him about since he read it. I would have more respect if they were more direct about it and not pretending it isn't the case. Like I said this whole set up could have been handled a million times better than it was here.
11192689
We’ll I’m glad you liked it, it’s nice knowing that people enjoy my works. I should have the next chapter up sometime this week, just need to get a couple personal things all done first.
11192694
Apparently it’s considered UNhEalThy to want to avoid people. Or…ponies in this case.
The premise of this story is really interesting and I like the unique backstory and personality you gave to Flash (you pretty much have to create his personality since he doesn't have one). Unfortunately, the School of Friendship immediately turns me off from reading any more, but I still hope this does well.
11194550
Aw, that’s a shame. I’m still thankful for the comment. If you don’t mind me asking, what about the school of friendship makes you not want to read further?
11194727
It's rather complicated for me, but one part of it is that I don't like the inherit idea of a school teaching friendship.
11195616
Fair enough, we all have our own opinions, thank you for your interest and comment though!