Dealing with loss is never easy.
Ponies can lose a lot of things - loved ones, pets, houses, jobs. For Twilight Sparkle, though, her biggest loss is a limb.
Her right wing is gone. Lost in battle, Twilight struggles with her changed body, confusing feelings and a crushing lack of hope.
And in the midst of it all, she wonders if sheʼll ever truly recover.
Behind-the-page: To Lose & To Heal
Written for: Bicyclette’s A Thousand Words II Contest - Drama
Proofread & edited by: JinxJTL
Review: Nightmare_Omega
Featured in: Equestria Daily, 30 More Fanfics to Read for Twilight Sparkle Day
Now with Patreon!
Chapters (1)
In the show, there were a couple of references to cloth made from spider silk (which is something like five times stronger than steel). I've often thought that substituting that for the carbon would result in a lovely composite - the perfect material for a prosthetic wing.
And I've also thought that having Scootaloo apply her mechanical skills to prosthetics would have been a much cooler future for her than sticking her in the Friendship School along with half of the child characters. Having her and Twilight work together on the design could be heartwarming. That and/or having Kerfuffle help out with the psychological stuff.
This is phenomenal. Such a good idea to make it that Twilight by all means probably won't go back to normal... And that's completely okay. We have to move on. We have to be strong, even if things change for the worse.
I love this fic. Such a good idea.
Actually teary eyed.
I think you did the subject justice. But...I wish it was a little less telly in places and more descriptive. I keep hoping for some more evocative detail's to show case her mental state: A scarred castle of friendship. Her friends jumpy around her. Spike avoiding her. Anything really...What smell's? Would food taste like Dragon land dirt and everfree stone? Perhaps, you could have focused on the wound itself? Just a hint of visceral detail? Perhaps one more word? Even,the battle where she lost her wing can be told in a few word's.
Mi piace molto! Molto commovente.
11653129
Perhaps one day, I will write about the actual mechanics of making Twilight's prosthetic. It sounds like a fun idea, and your ideas are great, too! Thank you for checking out my story and for your comment!
11653312
Thank you! And apologies for making you cry. Come to thick of it, though, I did tag the story [Sad], so that was kinda the point...
11653493
Thank you for the criticism. I understand that the story could have used more details, but the word count really forced me to cut things down. But your points have been taken into consideration.
11654370
Twilight already had a hard time learning to fly with two feathered wings. Her flying with one feathered and one mechanical wing will certainly be a sigh to see. Thank you for checking out my story and for your comment!
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Grazie! Sono contento che ti sia piaciuto!
11657715
Don't have to apologize for making me cry. That's one of the best emotions to get while reading a fic imo.
11657743
Well, then. Glad I delivered.
oof that is quite a thing to do
oof! sounds about right, considering history started again right before Twilight’s reign and there’s no reason for it to stop again right after
oof! the wings really did become a part of her
such a basic unicorn ability she did with ease pre-ascension! alicornhood being a weakness as well as a strength is a fascinating idea
aww Twilight! you can’t push your friends away in such time of need!
and a great lesson of the story. thank you for writing!
11698022
Thank you for your kind words, and for hosting this contest.
Coming back to this to say that I'm once again surprised to see that this didn't place in the contest.
You have incredible writing talent that deserves recognition, and I hope you are proud of this entry despite the results.
11698169
I love your faith in me.
And thank you so much for the kind words; they mean a lot. Also yes, I am proud of this entry and worry not, this has not discouraged me from participating in more contests.
I honestly had trouble buying the premise here. It’s not like this is the first time Twilight’s been grounded… but then, when she was a unicorn, she didn’t know what she didn’t have. The loss of the wing leaving her so magically debilitated that she can’t even levitate objects feels unsupported, and while the obsessive angle does work, overall I don’t think this was a good fit for the contest. It’s a strong concept, don’t get me wrong, but this kind of body-dysphoric journey through the five stages of grief can’t be done justice in a thousand words.
A good effort; what’s there is incredibly evocative in both physical and emotional sensation. it just doesn’t have enough room to… well, spread its wings.
11698528
Thank you for the compliments.
The original premise was actually way longer, but then I heard of the contest and reworked the entire story. That might be the reason why it... feels crammed, so to speak.
On behalf of "My Little Reviews and Feedback", I have reviewed this story. You can read the review HERE
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Thank you!
11698528
If youʼre interested, FoME, the original version of the story can be found here.