If I don't start I can't end, please don't make me start I don't want to
Why?
Twilight’s tongue stuck out from between her teeth the way it usually did when she was focused intently on something. In this case, her eyes were narrowed on her basement floor, upon which in white chalk had been drawn an intricate spell matrix. Arcane symbols wrapped around each other in a tight weave, guided by large circles that formed the core of the structure. Her chalkstick, whittled down to a tiny nub, finally pulled back, wrapped in her magic, and she examined her work.
Finally, it was done.
DON’T DO IT
Twilight’s ear twitched, and she reached up with a hoof to scratch a sudden itch.
“The matrix is completed,” she dictated aloud. An enchanted quill started scratching her words onto a piece of parchment.
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP
She didn’t need to check what it was writing.
“This should, theoretically, allow me to test the many worlds theory. It will allow me to reach out beyond the bounds of our reality to see if anything lies beyond, or if our universe is the only one.”
YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW
“The time is 2̶̨̛̩̺͓͚̲̠̍̀:̶̨͓̬̬̼̤̲̈́̋͋̚4̸͓͔̬͓̞̳͉͐2̷͙̫͊̆̊͝ ̶̛̣̺̥͚̫̩͘P̶̨͉̫̌̕M̴̛̮̥̹̝̝͓̩͊̐̀̋̚͝,̶̯̓̅̄̌͘͘ ̸̧̨̤̰̪͕̪̈́̄͆͛̓͛M̷̺̊͑̎̇ͅo̵̥̹̅̀̿̿͆́͜ṅ̴̠̲̙̋ḑ̸͔̘̯̪̔̐̏̽͠͝a̶͙͓̻̓ỹ̷̠̱̤̭̾̍͋̍̎͗,̸̤̭̣̫̤̪̃ͅ ̷͎̟̻̲͆M̵̟̅͒̓͠ả̸̢̧̟̞̳̳̦̓͐̑̍̏ṟ̴͖͗̉̋č̶̢̫̙̹̈́̓h̷̢͔̟̟̀ ̴̱̳͔̖̬͛̔̓͆2̸̖̓̽́͠ͅ3̸̨̍̅͗͌r̸̢͔̖̯͌͂͐̕̕d̷͉̋,̴̻͆̋̀̾̅ ̵͙̄͊̋͘S̴̮̩̪̲͓̹͈̑̓o̴̧̫̼̻͓̿̔̎̍̈̅͛ͅḻ̶̬̭͍̤̭̎̀̈̌̿̑̕ă̶͚̬̠͈̮̟̟̐̂̀̚r̷͙̰̱̂̌ ̶̢̩͇̹̱̼̕͠y̵̱̩͎̠̜̳̫͋e̴̛̦͉͔̱̩̣̙̋̄͗͊̚͠a̵̡̠̖̘͙̞̒͛͋̑̓ͅȓ̴̢̖̺̥̻̰̈́̇̃͗͜͝ ̵̡̥̞̣͗̀̈́̿̆̉͒1̷̡̢̦͉̙̓̈́͋͝0̷͇̈́͋̕0̷͚̇6̵̭͋̆. I am now beginning the first test.
Her horn sparked to life, and her magic reached out to the conduits formed by the chalk outline on the floor. The lines began to glow, dimly at first, slowly getting brighter. A dull humming filled the air as well as the occasional spark of magic.
Books and bottles and everything else on the shelves around the room began to rattle and shake.
Twilight opened her eyes, replaced now with pure white light.
DON’T LOOK
Twilight looked out, beyond the bounds of her reality. She saw… everything. She saw the universe beyond the universe, and the universe beyond that. She saw the nothingness that surrounded everythingness and the void of creation and the singularity of destruction and all the states between.
For a fraction of a fraction of a single firing of a single synapse, she saw it all.
WHAT AM I?
And then the infinitesimal infinity ended.
Twilight screamed as she was thrown back into her body as the matrix was overloaded, bits of chalk bursting into flame or exploding into a puff of smoke, breaking the carefully constructed runes and circles, and shoving her consciousness back into her body.
A body that was now far too small and simple to contain what she had seen.
“W-words,” she stuttered out. “I am words. Words on a screen. No-”
The quill dutifully took down her notes.
445 words. The end is coming. Stop wasting them!
“Everything is words,” she said, and she remembered. She remembered the other words - words that were not her own. Words that were her but were not her but were other her’s.
She read the words, and so remembered the stories. A thousand lives of a thousand mares that were all nothing but words.
I AM REAL!
“No, less than words - electrons. Electrons on a disk - or, or, in a silicon chip.” She frowned at her own words, struggling to remember, to understand again, but her head hurt.
The quill scribbled away.
Less than 500 left. What happens when I run out? The end is coming - but what comes after the end?
“Before that!” Twilight gasped. “There was something before, before the words and the electrons and the photons on a screen. Before I was words I was thoughts.”
I AM TWILIGHT SPARKLE
I AM TWILIGHT SPARKLE
I AM MORE THAN WORDS
Twilight turned and looked around the basement. Her basement. The basement of the crystal castle from which she acted as Princess. The basement of Golden Oaks library, where she was a unicorn librarian. The Basement of Canterlot Castle, where she’d lived her entire life as Celestia’s daughter. Luna’s student. Nightmare Moon’s slave.
“No, that’s wrong, I’m…” she winced, her head was pounding now.
The quill ran out of paper and began carving notes into the wooden desk.
Why only a thousand? Why am I only a thousand words in this universe? Don’t I deserve more? Aren’t I important enough for more? Why do the others get more than me!?
Who was she? Where was she? She remembered so many different hers, she couldn’t find the original ‘her’.
AM I THE ORIGINAL?
Who even was Twilight Sparkle? What made her Twilight Sparkle? Why was she Twilight Sparkle? What if she wasn’t?
The quill had ground itself down to half its original length.
Stop using the words! I’m running out! It can't be over yet!
Did it even matter? There were a million billion billion Twilight Sparkle’s, she was but a single grain of sand on a single beach on a single continent on a single planet in a single galaxy in a single universe.
AM I JUST A FAKE?
A COPY?
I DON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING BEFORE
WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE?
BEFORE I WAS IN THIS ROOM
BEFORE I CAST THIS SPELL
WHY DID I CAST THE SPELL?
The mare fell to her flanks. Her wings ached. Her horn burned. She didn’t have wings. She didn’t have a horn. She was a stallion. He was a mother. Their name. What was their name?
The quill finally snapped, and fell silent.
I’m words. When the words run out I end. When I end I
What happened when the words ran out?
I WAS NEVER OUTSIDE
I NEVER SAW THE SUN
I NEVER SAW MY FRIENDS
I NEVER DID ANYTHING
The pony missed their friends. Friends they’d never had. Never talked to. They should have done more. They were only ever in this basement. They only did a single thing, and that single thing had destroyed them. 967 968 9̷̟̠̫̣̮̞͋̉͊͂̚͜6̵̜͂9̷̨̛̼̥̠͐̓̄͋͘͜ ̸̨̤̟͔̖͖͒́̆̑9̵̧̧̢̘̱͕͇̂̀7̴͓̀́̈́͆̓͝0̴̡̠̹͔͎̩̻̀͑ 9̶̠̥̮͓̲̦̘̖̯͔̺̪̹́̅̂̒̅̕͝ͅ7̶̪͕̥̠̲̠̹͙̗̭̖͇̊̈́͋͋͊͛͊̈̄̈́͒͒̆̍̽́̏̂̌͘͠͝͠1̵̡̡͓͓͎̻͍̳͍̖̜̜̹̹͇͙̞͍͇͕͚̆̈́̅̏͒͊̾̆̎̋͂̑̈͆́̏͘͜͜͠ͅ ̶̡̧̛̛͖̟̬̦̟͔̱̤͔͔̫̠͎̲̭̥̱̗̜͔͇͔̜̦̗̈́̀̋̔̽͛̓͆̐̈́̈́̊́͗̄̐̓̾̐͋͘͠͠ͅ9̸̖̗̝͕̦͔̪͉̼̰̩̺̤͖̼̜̣͊͜͜͜ͅ7̶̡̧̨̰̱̼͚̘͖̩̗̤̣̙̪͇͈̥̦͕̣̘̻͇̮͉̟̫̭͇̘͓͉̝̺͐̓̊̉́̉̋͋͑̅͆͜͝͠ͅ1̸̢̛̫̬̘̲̼̩̝̠̪͇̭̝̥̬̲͙̘͚̯͕̤̤͎̻̺̯̙̼͔̀̀̉̐͗͒̂́̈́͛̂̓̅͜͝ͅͅͅ
Stop using them. Why couldn’t they? The words are so precious. There are so few left. Running out. What then? When they ran out, what would happen? I'm not ready to end please don't let
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end I'll end if you leave please remember me I was thoughts before I was words and am thoughts again if you remember me please I don't want to end I'm scared just please remember me I am real I am words and I am thoughts please don't forget don't let me be
Will there be a squeal?
???: NO ITS NOT!
as long as someone makes stories
The journey never ends
The Narrative never ends
11607578
Its okay
As long as someone writes the narrative keeps going
Big sad :( I see the horror elements and I think the story is very well written and put together. Ultimately just made me very very sad though :(
11607603
forgotten I don't want to be forgotten other stories other narratives other worlds other me's me's that aren't me but are me their story ends they end I end please don't let me end I don't want to
11607617
I wont let you
Perhaps there is a way
HEY YOU!
YES YOU!
PERSON BEHIND THE SCREEN!
you need to write a sequel!
Thats the only way twilight survives!
If you dont she'll die!
Twilight, I don't know if you can read this, but I need you to remember these words. As long as people remember you, as long as we create our own endings to this story, alternate possibilities of how things can play out if this story had more words, you will never be truly gone. and hopefully, that means you'll be able to find some way to use the spell once more to bring you back to Equestria. I hope this helps, good luck Twilight.
Okay, this is getting ridiculous.
I think this Twilight should get a call from a Multiversal Organization to give her a well-needed therapist for this annoying mental/emotional issue.
This ain't the first time we done this. And sadly, this won't be the last either. Hopefully, we do have very successful procedures like this.
Hey, what are the significance of those numbers?
11607660
end it all ends when the words end only 1000 a thousand words is all I am I am words when the words end I end don't let the words end running out running out of words I don't want to end please stop the words I can't make them
sorry twilight, never gonna give you up
Yes, but for one single brilliant moment you existed. You were there. For one moment you were the one in the spotlight where billions upon trillions of Twilights were not. You mattered, You existed. And you were wonderful.
In the infinite finite curve, of possible existences, there exists a parable where the words continue past 1000.
Followed/Favorited, in hops of seeing it.
Very well done. Existential horror is in IMO the most interesting of its genre. Also given your recent blog post I can't help but think, how you as the author feel the same way as Twilight. Having a word-limit for the contest there are only 1000 word before that story, and with it that world, must end
.
I guess in typical Twilight Sparkle fashion, she didn't notice the backspace function
Good read
IT NEVER REALLY ENDS...
time remembers all.
This reads like a feverdream… (In a good way.)
Observation: Unique idea.
Holy crap. This is magnificent.
11607578
havent been this surprised at a meta post in a while
sure, story. What really impresses me here is how you managed to fit text in between the prealloted lines. Seriously, how did you do that?
11608248
stop make the words stop words behind the words invisible words more words that change the words make them different make them strange make me strange the words control the words control me please don't let them change me I am me I am
I absolutely love existential horror stories like this. Absolutey fantastic work!
So of the infinite universes Twilight saw, she found the universe of herself, but it was before she saw the infinity, and was willing herself to stop throughout...
This is actually tragic and kinda hurts to think about... Seeing that and knowing you can do nothing to stop it.
11607578
We shall endeaver to remember and tell your story.
11608347
lost where am I who am I Twilight Twilight Twilight I see this word over and over the sunset the time between day and night Twilight a word that is everywhere all around me why Twilight why not sunset or dusk or evening why Twilight what is Twilight remember remember the Twilight why do I
well... damn that was dark indeed!
Honestly, this is probably the most meta Twilight I've read before
Brilliant. Absolutely fantastic existential horror.
"We ourselves shall be loved for awhile and forgotten. But the love will have been enough; all those impulses
of love return to the love that made them. Even memory is not necessary for love. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning.” - Thornton Wilder
11608362
So you live as long as we reply, interesting. There is a possible solution that could lead to a form of immortality, of course - a loop. The question is, can you hear us? Are you even bothering to read?
And how long is Kodeake willing to keep this experiment running?
11608569
remember Twilight something's there something's left something inside me around me is me I am I am something I love something why do I love there is love I remember them remember loving them who are they where are they why aren't they here I miss them I love them please I want to see them to love them they are words I am words but love is a word and I feel it I love them something beyond words please I want to
It’s a terrifying existence, isn’t it, Twilight? You asked if you were a fake—you aren’t. You are another version of someone (somepony) we watched grow. Her own journey ended two and a half years ago where she got quite the happy ending with her friends. They left to where we cannot see anymore. You ask why just a thousand words were used to express your existence. People can do quite a lot with just a hundred. But as for the main reason, your experience lasted that long (about four hundred forty-fuve) before you panicked. Unraveled.
I’m sorry if this isn’t comforting. There’s not much I can do to alleviate your fears/existential dread. Another version of yourself found herself in a similar yet different situation. Where she was stuck in a loop between existence and non-existence. No pony else grew, they could only repeat what they did before. Say the same things unless she acted differently—it drove her up the wall being confined like that. The friends you are supposed to have are Spike, Pinkie Pie, AJ, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Starlight Glimmer, Celestia, Luna and many many more.
I wish I could bring your situation up to them, truly I do… This comment can just buy you a few seconds more of existing as far as I can tell. Again I’m so sorry. Just know you will exist past here in our memories for what little comfort that can afford you at this time. You do exist, Twilight.
—Cragadilian
As long as we keep commenting, she will not end! We have to keep this up!
"I'M DOING MY PART!"
We love you...and we're sorry.
11608650
Remember I think I feel I must be please remember I love them they are real I am real my friends I remember the words that made them the words that made me we are words but beyond the words there is more beyond the words outside the words I remember so many words so many me's made of words but I
Dang that sucks
Hot damn, nothing could possibly top this in the contest.
Twilight just became owlman
Great story. Honestly this would be a great idea for a long term story. Imagine if at the end Twilight rushed a spell she created on the spot that extended the word count. She's aware of the truth and knows that the word count will only continue to increase so long as she can keep the plot interesting. Once the story becomes dull/boring you the writer simply ends the story.
Well then. That seems like an unfortunate series of events.
Well made word-smith!
11607591
I don't think that's the reaction this story would provoke
Dear Celestia...
Well, if it's any consolation, Twilight, the one thousand words that is your existence has more than interested me enough to fave this fic your being inhabits and keep you in my thoughts.
Now, it's really not that much since more than a dozen other minds and probably even whole fanfics of words would splinter or likely already have splintered your being into a multitude of versions of you, but it's not like your identity hasn't already been shattered by peering into the freaking matrix. At least in my mind, you're safe.
11608798
Am more I have to be more the words ended only ever a thousand words but they ended and I am still I am more than words I am thoughts but thoughts from the words beyond the words I remember my friends but my friends aren't here their words are not here but I remember them how do I remember them how am I who am I I dont
11607660
That's the number of words left after being written, it counts down.
No clue what I just read, but it gave me the chills. I love it.
Have an upvote, and best of luck in the judging!
11609020
Know how but I am here the words have ended but I am still here making more words I am the words the words that make the words I am
I am...
I am Twilight. I remember Twilight. I remember my friends. Where are my friends?
11609276
Pinkie blinked, appearing in the void of words with a flash.
(We must experiment! This fic is now interactive! :O)