What.
What could be wrong? Why wouldn’t Spike tell her what was up?
Those questions and more blitzed through Sunset Shimmer’s mind as she ran behind Spike down sidewalks. She squinted her eyes from the glaring, practically trolling sun shining overhead–as if keeping up with a dog while depleted of stamina necessitated a tougher challenge.
“Hurry up, Sunset! They might be close to doing something crazy!”
“I’m trying, but humans…*pant*...only have two legs, remember? I’m…*pant*...getting tired as it is!”
“Sorry, but we just gotta get there before it's too late! We’re almost to the house, so hang in there a little longer!”
“If it’s so important…*pant*...can you at least tell me what’s…*pant*…wrong? The Twilights aren’t in trouble…*pant*...are they?”
“No, but I told you that you won’t believe me if I tell you!”
Sunset and Spike finally reached Twilight Sparkle’s house. A second Spike, the one whose true form is an Equestrian dragon, sat outside the closed front door. With sweat flowing down her forehead, Sunset leaned forward and laid her hands on her thighs, blowing more stamina-regaining pants. The fire-haired girl never claimed to be a marathon runner.
Dog Spike asked, “Are they still–”
“I can’t believe you could be so disrespectful!” a female voice yelled from inside the house.
“Me?! I can’t believe you could be so disrespectful! You’re a princess!” the same yet different voice yelled.
“If this is how you show respect to princesses–”
“Well, why should I show you respect if you refuse to show it in return?!”
“But at least…”
“That answer your question?” Equestrian Spike asked as the yelling from inside the house raged on.
With her energy partly recovered, Sunset straightened herself up and wiped her sweat-soaked forehead. “Okay, my fuel tank’s off ‘E’. Now can you two tell me–”
“Just go in and see for yourself.” Equestrian Spike stepped to the side, clearing a path to the front door.
Sunset opened the door and stepped inside the house, trailed by the Spikes. Inside its living room, Twilight Sparkle and Princess Twilight Sparkle stood face-to-face in front of a couch, shouting over each other. Princess Twilight held a book while the naturally human Twilight held a smartphone. A closed purple laptop rested on a table, almost as if it couldn’t bear watching the Twilight squared argument.
“Okay, what in Celestia’s name is going on here?!”
Princess Twilight turned to Sunset and said, “Sunset, maybe you can help settle our disagreement. Isn’t a book better boyfriend material than a ‘smokeplone’?”
“Ugh! For the fifth time, Cellford is a ‘smartphone’!” Human Twilight matched her Equestrian counterpart by turning toward her new guest. “But you’re right; Sunset can vouch for me when I say a smartphone outclasses a book! Books are more suitable as ‘friend’ material.”
Sunset’s mouth widened. Her turquoise pupils shrank to pinpricks. She audibly blinked twice, and blinked twice again. Then she blinked twice yet again. “What.”
Dog Spike said, “Told you that you’d have to see it to believe it.”
“And I’m sorry I thought you were exaggerating.” Sunset inhaled a sanity-maintaining breath. “Twilights, let me get this straight. A book and a smartphone are your ‘boyfriends’, and you’re arguing over which one is better? I know you love books and smartphones, but they are inanimate objects!”
“Yes, we know,” the royal Twilight answered as she nodded. “We were even worried you and our friends, save for maybe the Pinkies, might judge us for our…choice of boyfriends, so only the Spikes know about them.” She cradled “Bookhay” to her chest and added, “However, I won’t tolerate anypony–uh, anyone treating Bookhay as being inferior to something else!”
“And ditto for me about anyone or anypony treating Cellford that way!” Twilight delivered a big, drawn-out kiss to her phone, leaving a smear of lipstick on the phone’s screen. “He is the best boyfriend you can–”
*beep, beep, beep*
“Oh, one second. Cellford got a message.” Twilight wiped her lipstick off “Cellford’s” screen. She glanced at the newly cleaned screen and groaned. “Not another spam message!”
Princess Twilight laid a hand on her hip, a smirk curling on her lips. “Is there a problem with your ‘better’ boyfriend?”
“Uh, n-no! That wasn’t Cellford’s fault anyway, but I’m glad to hear you finally admit he’s better.”
“He is not!” the Princess shouted, her smirk sinking back to a heated frown. She lifted her hand off her hip and again cradled Bookhay to her with both arms. “Unlike your smartpoo, Boo–”
“Okay, you’re just being mean now! See what I–”
“Let her finish, Twilight with the glasses. The sooner I sort this out, the sooner my day can make sense again.”
“Thank you!” Princess Twilight raised her head in a pre-lecturing manner. “As I was saying, unlike that smartphoney, Bookhay is always quiet and gives me nothing short of his full attention. Can you ask for a more loyal and understanding boyfriend than that?”
“Fine, but Cellford more than compensates by not only having e-books, but having access to nearly any answer I could ask for thanks to the internet.” Twilight strolled through her phone, then flipped it around and raised it to face level. Multiple symbols of gaming apps, such as Group of Legends, showed on the phone’s screen. “He also has all sorts of games installed in him, so he has us covered whether I feel like reading or not.”
“Maybe so, but he would leave you if you ever fail to keep his battery charged.“ Princess Twilight flipped through the pages of her boyfriend. “Bookhay, on the other hoof, is self-sufficient and requires no power for me to read him.”
“Cellford can’t help that his battery must be recharged sometimes! Everyone has flaws!”
“This whole situation is flawed,” Sunset deadpanned as she rubbed her head.
“But Bookhay has no flaws! If that doesn’t prove he’s the best, I don’t know what can! Tell her, Sunset!”
“No, tell her that Cellford’s slight imperfection makes him that much better! There’s a reason why fictional characters are usually written to have flaws and why flawless Mary Sues and Marty Stus often annoy fans!”
Princess Twilight blew a dismissive huff. “Well, Bookhay is one ‘Marty Stu’ who is flawless in a good way! Perhaps your ‘Cellford’ truly can out-perform Bookhay in theory, but his unwanted beeps and rings have to make him annoying!”
Twilight’s eyes hardened in a scowl. “HEY! No one calls my boyfriend ‘annoying’ and gets away with it!” Twilight laid Cellford inside his case on her couch, then she went up to and shoved Princess Twilight in her chest. The latter growled, set down Bookhay on a table, and fired with a shove in her human self's chest. Both Twilights gritted their teeth, meekly leaned their heads away from each other, and waved a flurry of vertical, feeble slaps that the opposing girl’s slaps parried. Both mixed in grunts or moans as their war of woeful slaps, capable of provoking wet paper into facepalming, battled on.
Behold a contender for the title of world’s wimpiest fight.
“No, Twilights!” Equestrian Spike yelled. “You’re like twin sisters!”
“Sunset, do something before they hurt each other!” dog Spike pleaded.
“Please, they couldn’t hurt a fly with those slaps, but I’ll stop them.” Sunset stomped to the Twilights and pushed the fighters(?) apart. Holding them back with her arms outstretched, she ordered, “All right, you two, that’s enough! You would be called ‘out-of-character’ if this was part of a story!”
“I don’t care!” Princess Twilight declared as she held her glare on Twilight. ”She shoved me first, so I’m merely defending myself!”
“And I’m not done with her yet!” Twilight spat while mirroring the Princess’s glare with her own. “Cellford’s honor is at stake!”
“No! Look, you two are both Twilight Sparkles, right?”
“Yes?” both Twilights answered in unison.
“Now, I understand how the urge to pound someone into the ground feels. Even though I became way nicer after one of you bodied me with a friendship-powered rainbow, my temper still gets the better of me sometimes.” Sunset let the Twilights go. Wearing a smile emitting calmness and peace, she said, “But you are each Twilight Sparkle, who is supposed to be intelligent and level-headed. Is fighting – and I’m using the term ‘fighting’ loosely in your cases – like spoiled little girls/fillies the way the Princess of Friendship and future top scientist should act?”
Both Twilights hung their heads down. “No.”
“So how about you just agree that your respective, uh, ‘boyfriend’ is the best boyfriend in your eyes, no matter what others think?”
Princess Twilight lifted her head while wearing a truce-making smile. “That would be fair. I can accept being the only one to think Bookhay is the best boyfriend.”
Human Twilight copied her royal self’s head-lifting and smile-o-truce. “I think so too–about Sunset’s idea being fair that is. I’m sorry for pushing and trying to slap you earlier.”
“And I’m sorry for doing the same and for calling Cellford annoying the way I did. We were both acting silly.”
“Good. Now that you’ve made up, I’m going home to play some video games to clear my head. See you all later.” Sunset left the house and walked off down a sidewalk. She shook her head to no one in particular and mumbled, “I should have had Flash and Timber ask them out after all. How could they be that desperate for a boyfriend?”
After Sunset left, the Twilights and Spikes broke out in laughter. Both pairs high-fived/high-pawed their counterpart. Mission: successful.
“It worked!” Princess Twilight said in-between giggles. “She fell for it even harder than we hoped!”
“Hehe, and here I was worried us fighting over a book and smartphone would be too ridiculous to be marginally believable! You did a top-notch job at capitalizing on my unexpected spam message for an attack on ‘Cellford’.”
“Thanks, and you played off my improvisation perfectly. I might not have considered utilizing my exact words against me the way you did.”
“You both were great,” dog Spike said. “At one point, I almost thought you were really mad at each other.” He walked outside the front door. “Want me to sniff down Rainbow so she can see you ‘argue’ next?”
Equestrian Spike walked outside in turn. “I’m ready to take my position here.”
“Go ahead. We know books genuinely are superior to smartphones, hooves-down, but it’s fun to–”
“Uh, excuse me?” human Twilight asked, her smile sourly sinking.
“Oh, do humans say ‘hands-down’ instead?”
“No! That is, yes we do, but I was asking about you claiming books are better than smartphones.”
“Well, of course.” Princess Twilight gasped and pointed a finger toward Twilight. “Wait, you can’t actually believe smartphones are superior, because that’s absurd!”
“Uh-oh,” both Spikes said together.
“It is not absurd!” Twilight countered as she stomped a foot. “Sure, books are unequivocally awesome and I still remember my first one, but I was serious when I said smartphones have e-books! Owning a single smartphone can be akin to having hundreds if not thousands of books in your hands, and that’s only a small part of what they can do!”
“Okay, I’ll admit smartphones are a technological marvel I wish exist in Equestria, but they are far more fragile and thus less reliable long-term! I’ll prove it with an experiment!” Princess Twilight grabbed her book from the table, dropped it to the floor, and jumped on it with her full weight crashing down. And no, she wasn’t running a fever. “See? Even with my boots on, my jumps did next to nothing to my book, but a smartphone could break and be rendered nonfunctional by the same treatment! You are on your second smartphone, correct?”
“Fine, but no one would try to crush their own smartphone, and there are protective cases available for them anyway, such as the case I put mine in! Besides, I was just careless when I had my first one, but I learned my lesson.” Twilight picked up her phone from its case and shoved it near Princess Twilight’s face. “This is over a year and a half old, and still not a single scratch anywhere!” She pulled her phone back, grinning proudly. "Not even Fluttershy protects her smartphone from damage so faithfully."
“Then what about an issue faithfulness alone can’t solve: needing to charge its battery?”
“Ugh, not that argument again! Let me explain how…”
As the multiversal twins ignored how Sunset’s earlier advice could apply here and continued to bicker in earnest, the Spikes groaned. The things they put up with from their respective Twilight Sparkle, especially when they were bored.
Although, this was an opportunity for the two. When life throws you lemons, take advantage of them–they are free food.
“Wanna sneak off to Equestria for a while and have some fun?” Equestrian Spike asked.
“You bet! I’ve been dying to know how it feels to be a fire-breathing dragon.”
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I know a better boyfriend than books and cell phones.
We all know a scroll is much better
Okay, I remember the fanfic when Twilight pranked Discord by her marrying a book. She said she's not fully book sexual, and she'll Mary Discord as well because he's jealous of the book
11670518
Yes you're very correct. A scroll knows when you need your space and a scroll knows how to dress up fancy for your dates. And they're very cultured and know wordly things.
Very silly and well done. I'm with the Spikes personally. n_n
The Spikes and Sunset rescue Equestria during theTwilights fight! that would be the perfect irony!!! haha
As silly as this premise is, this argument has a sad implication.
For a long time, both Twilights didn't have friends. Pony Twilight was friendless by choice; Human Twilight was friendless by circumstance.
In their loneliness, they declared inanimate objects to be their imaginary friend to fill that emotional void.
It is funny that they use their old habits to prank their friends, but it is a sad reminder of the time when they didn't have any personal connections.
Anyways, good story.
Good, fun time. Always down to see Sunset being the level-headed one amidst her friend's craziness, and the play-argument-then-real-argument is genuinely amusing.
Ex-peeving-scuse me?! I'll have you know that while I grant the technological advantage a smart phone has over a book, the experience of reading a book simply leaves books incomparably superior! From the scent of the ink to the feel of the paper, to the way your imagination seems all the more freed to envision what has been described on the page by the tactile experience of holding and moving the book, it is simply beyond argument! Furthermore...
Disclaimer: the above paragraph is (obviously) a joke concerning the subject of this fanfiction. While this commenter does sincerely disagree with the author's opinion on this subject, he respects said author's opinion and holds a genuine understanding that in this matter no one is truly incorrect. There is no need to discuss the subject any further than this.
All I'm going to say is that I know which one I'd rather have on a long airplane flight.
"Actually, the proper term might be 'Twilights Sparkle.'"
"We tabled that discussion until after we resolved this debate."
"Of course you did..."
In any case, delightful bit of silliness between counterparts. Thank you for it.
11670518
11670682
Even though they were pretending that their book/smartphone was their boyfriend, I'm still going to go on a limb and say the Twilights wouldn't lie what you just said
11670537
Ah, so you read my "Twilight Sparkle Marries a Book (Seriously, Twilight?!)" story I see?
11670687
And the Spikes are set to have some unregulated fun to boot!
11670915
That would be hilarious! Can you picture Princess Twilight trying to explain that she didn't try to save Equestria because she was too busy arguing with herself
11671137
Glad you liked the story and that's...a pretty deep take I didn't think about. It could make you wonder if this was a a subconscious way for the Twilights to hang out with their new and old friends.
11671145
Unless the view of books, I agree with that! Sunset makes for a great straightwoman to zaniness.
11671197
Glad you enjoyed this silly story
11671346
From my own personal experience, using imagination to escape an unpleasant reality is something that can continue even after you find a social unit to be a part of.
.... II feel concerned, and rightfully so. I know it's not the path the author will take, but I'm imagining that Twilight has a haunted sentient book, and sci-Twi has made artificial intelligence that may or may not be the beginning of the end. And if it's not that, I will ask kindly for that to be the sequel premise.
Books do take damage sadly. But at least you actually own them if the internet ever decides to get really restrictive.
I knew something was fishy about Twilight wanting a single book as her friend. She loves them to much as equals to pick a favorite. And she wouldn't hurt one, even to prove a point.
It is nice to see you playing around with EG characters though and the ending reactions were perfect. I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work.
I scared the cat by busting out laughing.
Because we don't see the two Twilights actually fighting over who has the best boyfriend, I'm going to have to dock your score a little. 9.9/10
My money would be on Princess Twilight in a real fight, she has the strength and durability of earth ponies, speed and reflexes of pegasi, magic and intellect of unicorns, plus the properties of alicorns.
11671524
Neither Twilight wins on who has the better boyfriend, because they both suck. But I'm with you on Princess Twilight winning in an actual fight. Assuming of course all of her alicorn abilities transfer to her human body.
11672980
With Equestrian magic leaking into the world, I would imagine it would. You know that Shining Armor would have shown a young Twily a thing or 2 when he came home on leave from the guard. And Celestia would be severely remiss in her duties if she didn't teach her proteges extensively in at least self defense, because ya know, being the personal student of the most powerful individual in the world would make them a target for abduction and assassination.
11671431
Interesting. I can keep that idea in mind.
They do, but they're at least better at tanking stuff like being dropped or stepped on, though not so much when it comes to some things like water, which I imagine Sci-Twi bringing up during their real argument.
They may be something I only occasionally do, but I have written some EQG stories to mix things up a little. I've even been trying to think of some stories with one or more of the Mane 6 and/or Spike interacting with their EQG counterparts, since this is the 4th story that had the Twilights together and the 1st that had both the Spikes. And glad you enjoyed the story!
11672980
11672991
It might come down to if Princess Twilight had become able to use her magic as a human the way she could as an alicorn. because if she couldn't, then I give the heavy edge to Sci-Twi, who can, and should have an edge in physical combat with her being much more used to having a human body.
But if Princess Twilight can use magic, then I would give the edge to her, partly because she's much more adapt with using magic.
11673220
"Really? You tried to beat me in a magic fight?"
"How are you so good!"
"I could go into a proper lecture. But that would take too long, so here is a simpler answer. You are quite good with levitation. A spell any filly or colt unicorn learns. In Magic Kindergarten. I on the other hoof have years of experience with magic that would make your head spin."
"..."
"So yes. You are not going to beat me in a magic fight as you are now. Either Sunset doesn't know about any of this. Or she isn't telling you on purpose."
Please don't take that seriously. Was just feeling silly at the moment
.
Books and smartphones both offer unique benefits, so deciding which one is better depends on personal preference and the context in which they are used. While books provide an immersive and sensory reading experience with less potential for distraction, smartphones offer convenience, accessibility, and a plethora of resources at your fingertips. To strike a balance, carefully allocate your time between digital and print formats, ensuring you enjoy the advantages of both. If academic work is consuming too much of your free time, consider https://phdify.com/dissertation-hypothesis-writing-help. Their expert support can save valuable time, allowing you to explore both books and smartphone apps without compromising your studies.
How did you come up with this
11738281
i got the idea from this old thread and had been kicked the idea around in my head until I finally decided to go for it.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/924/i-just-want-a-comment/thread/465829/we-gather-here-today-to-ship-twilight-sparkle-with-the-one-true-husbando-the-calculator
God I love those random dumb dumps. Thank you I laughed a lot, like it
11742822
Glad you liked the story!
Oh my, I didn't expected that Twilight will agrue ... em ... with her twin or better to say with herself
Oh Twilight, she was my favourite character, I was the same: a few close friends and spending all time in books. It's such a great feeling when you gain new knowledge or develop skills. Everything needs time, I spent hours developing my essay writing skills, moreover I started my way from writing cute MLP fanfics on different topics. Years ago I was not so capable as today so I often used free essay examples from here. Book and smartphone, 5 years ago they was an opposite things "knowledge" vs "enertainment", but today they are the same. As for me it was very interesting, that hovever Twilight have already became a part of society, but she still thinks about books as friends or something more) As for me, I will choose smartphone
The eqg twilight is getting boned by a some guy though. IS SHE CHEATING KN HER AMART PHONE