Penance

by Bicyclette

Glimmer

And Starlight’s Empathy magic let go of Sunset’s dream. And she had to take a moment for herself, as tears streamed down her face, her half-formed muzzle split into a grin that she could not help. And slowly, surely, the serenity that was her default state now returned, suffusing back out to every corner of her being.

It was a process, she noticed, that grew shorter every time.

And she resumed. Her Empathy magic that she guided in her mind’s eye traced the eternal thread that weaved through and wrapped around every dreamer in the chaotic pile that lay eternal beneath her feet-hooves, over and over again, in every possible order and combination, like beads on a string.

And as she followed the string, she found her next dreamer, a different one every time. And as she entered their dream, her meditation would continue.

She would feel everything that the dreamer felt in the slice of their life she was about to peek into. All of their triumph and loss and joy and grief and passion and calm and happiness and sorrow. And love. And she would take it all into the serenity of her mind, becoming ever closer to a pure reflection of the collective being of every soul in the world that lay humming and thriving underneath her.

And her meditation would continue.

And this is how things went on in the Void.

Comments

[Moproblems Moharmoney]

It's dark, and beautiful, and it hurts because there's something real here. Insta faved and updooted.

[RDT]

Very interesting story.

One notable thing is how Starlight managed to inherit Sunset's empathy magic as well. There is probably some headcanon that justifies this.

[OP Omni God-Emperor Doom]

So what? Jupiter just get away with this!? I hope she gets shot by law enforcement or military.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Horrifying in its desolation, touching in its emotional sincerity. (Also concerning in its implications for happier timelines, though hopefully it'll take a lot more magical abuse than most EqG worldlines experience before stars start going out.) Thank you for a great read. Best of luck in the judging.

11571895
She was dead by Chapter 5, my dude.

[OP Omni God-Emperor Doom]

11571903

I didn't finished it before I comment this. Even then, she utterly screwed the earth itself, and disintegrate most of humanity anyway!?

I bet she has a special spot in the deepest parts of HELL!

[Starlight Nova]

Why isn't there a tragedy tag?

[bobbananaville]

I love how between this, Long Distance and Rooftop you've got a sort of... Multiverse? Of the same premise? But explore them in different ways every time, showing different possible actions and different possible relationships and different tragedies.

Also it means you can do world-building and explore how your version of magic and the universe works, without changing the ending of old stories or having to focus on different points in time.

[Thought Prism]

Very thought-provoking stuff, I wholeheartedly approve. Thank goodness Starlight can peoplewatch, otherwise her fate would basically be an endless nightmare of eternal, unchanging isolation.

[applejackofalltrades]

Wow okay I finally got around to reading this! Lemme just start with the fact that I love the way you write and I thoroughly missed reading, ahem, bords. There’s something so,,, I don’t know how else to say it, but whimsical and yet serious in the tone of this one and the subject matter being something that seems to almost repeat itself and yet stays different is a blend that works so well together. An interesting concept with a great execution as always, Bike! And the ending is bittersweet, as I am often found enjoying. I’m glad that Starlight gets to be alone while, in a way, not being entirely isolated. But damn… The things you do for love…

[Dubs Rewatcher]

This is fantastic.

[EileenSaysHi]

In revisiting and expanding the world of Void, Penance takes that story's brutally dark concept – a world where Juniper Montage slowly began to suck the whole of the world into her magic mirror without opposition – and finds something deeply compelling in it. Both the initial setup and the way things escalate are haunting, but blend seamlessly with these really touching character moments that help give even objectively horrible outcomes a feeling of hope and optimism. And the way things end for the core romance, while devastating, feels all too in-character. Excellent work here, and congrats on your Honorable Mention.

[Bicyclette]

11571866
thank you! i could not ask for kinder words or quicker prereading
11571886
i guess i didn't mention it directly but i meant to imply Starlight managed to reverse-engineer Sunset's empathy magic just like she did with the Memory Stone's magic
11571895
why would she be shot by the Ushers when they report to her directly?
11571903
thank you! so glad you enjoyed it FoME!
11572020
well she didn't mean to disintegrate humanity! without humanity who would watch her movies?
11572042
i don't know, why don't you read it and tell me?
11572449
aww, i am so glad you love that! and yeah, i am wringing a lot of mileage out of that device, aren't i? it's funny since i never wrote the original longfic idea that is about Principal Celestia and the powers-that-be in the Equestria Girls universe discovering and fighting against the magical decay, and instead i just use alternate timelines where the world is doomed to end because they do work quite well for my favorite genre of tragic high-concept romances
11572990
thank you! i do pride myself in the existential concepts that go into these stories so i'm always glad to hear it when they're appreciated
11574466
thank you jay! i do both love writing and reading those bittersweet endings. and you nailed describing the tone i was going for here
11574844
this comment did make my week when i first read it
11589348
thank you both for this comment and the contest that inspired this fic! i'm really glad the character moments rang true for you because one big focus i had here was on where Starlight's character would be, following up where she was at the time of "Mirror Magic" with her (in her mind) being responsible for the immiseration and death of yet another world. i am very proud of the guilt-ridden, half-pony-half-human creator-goddess-in-embryo Starlight i wrote here

[SigmasonicX]

I read this about a month or two ago but neglected to write a review, so apologies about my memory being fuzzy.

This was a really interesting direction to take Juniper Montage's dimension, and a well done sci-fi concept (but magic). Sunset and Starlight's relationship was well done, and the ending with Starlight essentially becoming the god of this world was neat.

[SparklingTwilight]

This was a really well done epic tragedy!

[Bicyclette]

11664058
thank you! i'm glad that the last part came through since it was one of my favorite ideas that went into this

11701225
thank you!