morbiusgreen
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Awesome chapter. Cant wait to see how it turns out. Wonder if Bluebloods family past will have any relevance later?
A couple of spots that gave me pause:
Seems like there’s a word missing after “their”...not that we can’t imagine.
Given the otherwise first-person narrative, the sudden switch to third here (unless there’s another “he” that might fit that I’ve missed) is a bit jarring.
Also, following this.
A great start I can't wait to see where this goes
Huh. Well, this is interesting. It's well-written, and I like the characterization. And delightfully, it doesn't seem to be yet another "let's bash on Blueblood and laugh at his misery" story.
I do have some concerns.
What's left to tell? Blueblood seems to have preempitely solved all the problems. Celestia knows he's a reincarnated human. He's already fixed his reputation. Sunset has friends and won't fall from grace. Celestia has already been briefed on Twilight, and has a pretty good lead on getting her sister back. But she's not getting her sister back for ten more years. And I don't see a romance tag, so presumably it's not about Blueblood hooking up with Sunset or Cadence.
Unless the next chapter comes with a huge time skip, what is this story even suppposed to be about?
For a while I thinking it might be showing the end of the story in the first chapter, and then it was going to go back in time to his arrival. But I see a mane 6 tag. So presumably time goes forward. But why is there a mane 6 tag, if it's still two years to the rainboom, and ten years until Luna's return? I notice that you have Blueblood filling Twilight's shoes in a number of ways. He hatched Spike, he's in her room, he's Celestia's student...so maybe he becomes the element of magic instead of Twilight? I don't think many readers will be super eager to read about Blueblood making friends with Applejack and Rarity, but I'm not seeing much role left for Twilight if Blueblood's already done everything she was supposed to do, and Sunset is still around and already redeemed. I do see directions this plausibly could go in, but this reads like it could have been the second to last chapter of a story rather than the first, and you don't seem to be leaving yourself very much room to work with.
I suppose none of this is a problem. So long as the characters stay interesting, people will read it. But I'm just struggling to see where this story is supposed to go next.
Two more quick comments:
Not a fan of anthro.
And second...this story is giving off a lot of Mary Sue vibes. Everyone loves him, he's solving everybody's problems, you have him preemptively usurping all Twilight's accomplishments, he's solved Sunset's problems...you have him teleporting and he hatched Spike's egg and it's explicitly stated that he's one of Celestia's personal students so clearly he's magically powerful, in addition to being magically powerful he's done guard training and you're dropping hints that he's physically strong, you have Celestia following his administerial advice on her school, everyone loves him...
There are a lot of signs that this is going to be a Mary Sue story. And when you combine that with it looking like he's already solved all the problems before the first chapter even starts...like I said, I have some concerns about the direction this story is likely to go. You may be writing yourself into a corner here.
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Thanks for pointing them out. All fixed.
The story in itself is good and well - written there's not much to go on beside the fact that this blueblood will almost certainly be the same as the blueblood from "Humble Prince." it's a good shift from the original timeline makes it more interesting. that being Anthro as well in my opinion makes it more well human not that I would discern other comments above me as we all have different thinking processes of what is appropriate and what is not. but it's good that you think out of the box which makes the story more interesting and much more intriguing. that some events in the timeline are different brings out new perspectives about the story letting readers think of many ways that the story may go such as "what happens with the Mane 6?" "Do they become the element or is it different." such is the way we all will want to find out. Don't let other circumstances lead you to alter your story in the way readers want it only to fix things that don't make sense or to explain in blogs but most importantly be Unique the old timeline in itself is fine but alternate styles such as this Anthro setting is unique and quite refreshing in the community so for now I shall take my Leave I look forward to more of this story as does many others, Keep Up the Good work Mobius Green but as Lord Bucket has mentioned what's left to tell?
That is where you the author comes in you get to make the story as unique as possible keeping what you believe would make the story better, he does make some good concern points Such as I quote one of their concerns "Blueblood seems to have preemptively solved all the problems. Celestia knows he's a reincarnated human. He's already fixed his reputation. Sunset has friends and won't fall from grace. Celestia has already been briefed on Twilight and has a pretty good lead on getting her sister back. But she's not getting her sister back for [ten more years]. And I don't see a romance tag, so presumably it's not about Blueblood hooking up with Sunset or Cadence." this is a very good point one I cannot help but wonder is there going to be a time-skip or something? I can't help but wonder what you have planned next there's is no romance tag in the story which makes me wonder if you're going to add it when you believe it's time to add a romance chapter in the near future once it has more chapters in the story.
but one point I don't agree with is a question that lord bucket mentioned regarding Anthro it's not for everyone that I know and mean no offence to him/her but if it makes the author comfortable relating to the characters that's fine, but it doesn't mean he's going to be writing himself into a corner but then again they make another good point one that would either make the story popular or the opposites don't have blueblood fix all the problems have it like a hybrid story which is balance with the Original Story a Ying and Yang style or it will make the story less interesting and the readers will be confused on what's going on but bear in mind read each comment on each chapter you make or make a blog asking what should be improved and have their questions answered and in return you edit and rewrite certain events on what may go on for such another good point would be an introduction to the story like as lord bucket has said and I will quote him one more time make this first chapter an introduction than "going back in time to his arrival to Equestria."
which will make the story make more sense because it will be answering the people's ideas and begin the story until it gets back to this point in the story what was the characters backstory when he was still human and how did he die and how he reacted when he was brought to Equus in the body of Blueblood what events happened in the orphanage that bluebloods mother Golden spark came to be and then bring more back story to the characters making each feel alive and so that some of the readers can relate to them without a backstory for maybe a good 10 or 20 chapters have the characters develop from the first years in the orphanage to the meeting of Celestia or sunset to the hatching of Spike to the Main character speaking to Celestia of knowing who he was before and his knowledge of the show to befriending Sunset and Cadence these Are important point to fill in before starting the story this chapter is an introduction to New Blood this is my advice make back stories for the characters. POVs of each character to bring more to each character having each character a good ten or more chapters to delve into their lives from before they met blue blood to after when they're friends or more creating events and circumstances in their roles and world around them, the backstory is the most important part in a reincarnation story and again this is my advice I may not have written my own story but it doesn't mean I don't know what needs to be added to keep the story alive and to grow listening to your followers or readers is important to read and reinforce the story improving it more. I expect great things for this story but only if you try the best, you can achieve great things and make yourself feel pride in your work so I challenge you to improve the story give us the readers a backstory to make the introduction make sense so we can feel the emotions in the characters and the world but feel free to add music that you think would bring out the world and characters to life, I hope you can take my advice and create a masterpiece in the making you only need to try.
I like it, great start and I'm not gonna a lie, I'm a bit honored my story inspired you to make your own. I always enjoy when Blueblood get more love and development.
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I did not expect you to comment! Well, I’m glad you like it so far! And I really do like your story!
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Glad to hear, like your story too. I'm intrigued with what turns and twist will lead now that Twilight will not have her number one assistant. OH! maybe blueblood could aid her patch things up with Moondancer before the issue started.
Only time will tell.
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And the fact that Spike is now older than Twilight.
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That too, anything could happen. Blueblood could become like a pseudo guardian angel, gently helping others to headed to the right path.
Jejeje I also think, if in the show his reputation was only "Celestia nephew" in this universe something tell me there would be a bit more of his story for potential mares.
Also I'm intrigued on that "something" he spent a month in training. Some grueling if he warn Shining that is not for the faints of heart.
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I’m thinking like hardcore marine training.
Heh, shot in the dark but wanna help me write it in your spare time?
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gladly but not today, maybe tomorrow if you really like my input
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I’ll message you.
meh, really this story touches on all the cliché points that really bore me, so I'd better not.
I hope to dear God that Blueblood stays non-overpowered in this one.
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i mean he had 2 weeks worth of grueling boot camp. So maybe not Twilight levels of OP but he has some skills.
Just wondering how often do you plan on updating this story?
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With three stories going on at the same time and a fourth one in limbo currently as often as I can.
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11432166
Seconded.
Thanks again MG for another amazing chapter. I'm really excited to see another "reincarnated into Blueblood" mlp fimfiction and I can't wait to see more chapters soon. I wouldn't mind seeing this fimfic being a rated M one. I wish you the best of luck writing your next chapter. Cheers!
Another great chapter. Nice to see how he arrived even if it was in a brutal fashion.
Does this mean that this story is going to be really long?
Upgrade to M? That would depend on you, and where do you want things to go
I am not sure what's going on there. 10 years is a lot of time for Sunset Shimmer to go crazy
Vladimir? Ponies are Russian/slavic in that fix?
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Blueblood appears in a story from the French My Little Pony magazine. In this story, he is referred to as Vladímir, although it is inconsistent with his original name which has been also retained in the show's French dub. He also appears to treat Rarity better than in the animated series.
So does this mean future chapters are going to be going through his childhood now or will it return to the "present" timeline detailed in the first chapter where he's already essentially grown up? The the sudden time change is a little jarring to me.
Hope he decide to dress up as a vampire one time cause, with a birthname such as his, who would resist?
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I am seriously loving the story so far! The momentum and build of the story great!
I love the slow but incredible development you did. Especially an anthropomorphic story no less!
Hard to find one that doesn't involve smut. Got nothing against it
I enjoy the pacing and world building of this story. Keep up the good work.
I like it can't wait to read more
This be a pretty sweet chapter
Great new chapter, but did you have to end on such a cliffhanger
Loving this story. Can’t wait for the next chapter
Thanks again MG for another amazing chapter. Lots of great content this chapter. You did a great job including and describing some new OC'S into this story such as with Crystal Moon and I'm curious to see how her character influences the story in the future. I also enjoyed the fact that you are going the extra mile in effort to add some world building into this story, such as with the thinly veiled discrimination of Bat ponies and the equestrian Calander and language differences compared to earths own. I don't know about other readers, but I find stories whose authors have gone to the effort to add lots of details, lore and world building into their fanfics tend to generally be a step above in standard to the usual stories we often see posted and much more memorable in my mind. Little sprinkles of lore or facts during a chapter, none of which have to be in great length, help build a unique world in which the reader can immerse themselves with interest. Anyway, I can already see that this story is heading towards the right direction and I am very excited to see where you take it in the future. I thank you again for all the time and effort you have given to bring us these great chapters, and I wish you the best of luck writing your next one. Cheers!
I ship blue blood with sunset shimmer fight me I have spoken
The story is a gem, don't give up !
That was very good. I'm giving you six stars for doing a good job. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
cant wait for the main story to start!!!!
keep it up!!!~
So far, this is a great story. I am curious how you came up with the names for the days and months. I look forward to reading more of this.
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For the months, I looked up a bunch of Middle English words and used them or variations/combinations of them for the months. For example, the first month just means beginning, the last month means end. Midsomar and Summerstar were exceptions. A lot of the months with End in them signify the ending of one season or another, as well.
As for the days, well the first two are easy enough. Sun's Day and Moon's Day. Platday was named after Princess Platinum, Hurday was named after Commander Hurricane, and Pudday was named after Chancellor Puddinghead. Nerday just means Near Day, like the end of the week is near, and Endday is just the End Day of the week.
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Between his name and as a bit of payback for the whole “bat pony lover” label, I could actually see that happen. Though at the same time he probably wouldn’t want to fall into the trap of just playing to the whole anti-eutherian prejudice, so that’d be a bit of a balancing act...but nice to watch if he could pull it off.
Well, somepony is getting a "good boy!" Medal of honor from the princess when he wakes up.
Esto es una paradoja, saber del futuro y cambiar las cosas hace que tu conocimiento del futuro se vuelva inútil ya que el futuro que conoces ha cambiado, la única manera de que el futuro sea como tu lo conoces es si no haces absolutamente nada, aunque en este caso, el simple hecho de que Blueblood sea un "humano" ya cambia la esencia de todo tal como lo explica el efecto mariposa.
This is a paradox, knowing about the future and changing things makes your knowledge of the future useless since the future you know has changed, the only way for the future to be the way you know it is if you do absolutely nothing, though in this case, the simple fact that Blueblood is a "human" already changes the essence of everything as explained by the butterfly effect.
Técnicamente quiera o no, es su sobrino y como no suplanto la identidad de nadie sino que nació así, técnicamente si es Blueblood en su totalidad ya que nadie conoció un Blueblood diferente.
Technically whether he likes it or not, he is his nephew and since I am not impersonating anyone but was born that way, technically he is Blueblood in its entirety since no one knew a different Blueblood.
Translated by Google.
(Buena historia)
Well this story definitely has my attention. Consider it liked and favorited.
I hope that when Blueblood is officially recognized as a prince. He uses his newly acquired resources to reunite with Crystal Moon.