• Member Since 6th Sep, 2018
  • offline last seen 14 minutes ago

Alvasa


cosplayer/ amateur prop maker and wanna be writer

Comments ( 449 )
Comment posted by The Blue EM2 deleted May 15th, 2019
Comment posted by The Witching Hour deleted May 15th, 2019
Comment posted by The Blue EM2 deleted May 15th, 2019
Comment posted by moviemaster8510 deleted May 14th, 2019
Comment posted by The Blue EM2 deleted May 15th, 2019

* video game narrator voice* Story needs editing badly! In all seriousness, you have mixed several words up, one example is using "dawn armor" instead of the correct "DON armor. Dawn is a time of day, don is the action.

9622170
This is only my second attempt at a story and I know I suck at grammar always have probably always will. I'm more than willing to accept help editing. Another thing this was a three to six-hour spur of the moment write.

9622425
Ah, I'll go a little easier on you then.

Quite a headscratcher considering this got front page.

While I found the story similar as the many starts, I really enjoyed the displacer. If you don't mind, can I use your merchant in my fiction as well? I usually ask permission to make similar or even take some merchants to a story focused in a friendship between a displaced character and his merchant.

9622611
>Displaced
>Quite a headscratcher considering this got front page.

I think you just answered your own question.

9622615
No, I don't mind but He's not a Merchant but The Gambler. He plays any number of games with the Displaced. As he is a Gambit he main uses cardgames to trick the 'player' but any form of games with steaks are will work

9622647
Well, I can use something similar to that, It's because the lore I did was totally different from the usually displaced fictions, mine is a bit more focused on the Greek Culture and etc... But thanks for giving me permission, I will not use the same character, but it will be a similar one.

9622650
THANKS FOR ASKING

9622629
Except not ALL Displaced story get frontpage, I think its more like it's views raise quickly because it's getting views from people who hate the displaced even though they have the choice to avoid reading it. Obviously this story has some grammar issues and it got frontpage despite that fact, thus why i'm scratching my head. You don't see any of my stories getting front page and all of them are Displaced.

9622669 I’m saying that the majority of Displaced fics get high views and ratings for the sole reason that they’re Displaced. Honestly, it’s quite astounding that more haven’t infected the featured page on a daily basis.

9622683
Except not all Displaced get highratings. For example, the two you've made that mock the cliche and bad side of the Displaced fanbase have gotten alot of dislikes and they're, of course, Displaced.

9622685 Surprisingly, the general masses of the Displaced fandom are able to detect sarcasm and subtextual hatred for the genre when they’re metaphorically curb-stomped into it. Who knew?

9622690
Honestly, all fanbases or a group get the same treatment, it doesn't matter how pure, even if its just porn and fetishes.

9622629
Full stop.

Crossover fics are generally popular, displaced fics are technically crossover, displaced fics are then, popular.

You cannot tell me you've never read a crossover fic, period. Whether it's from MLP or otherwise.

You also cannot tell me all crossover fics are bad. I can't name any really popular ones off the top of my head, but I know I've got plenty in my tracking that I personally enjoy and think are written well, and that's only in the MLP fandom.(Thought of one while I was writing the next part, Fallout Equestria is well written, enjoyed by a lot of people, and it's also a crossover fic)

And finally, if you don't like displaced fics just don't read them when they show up. I don't like mindless smut and intense fics like the fallout ones, and yet they ALSO get on the featured list often, and yet you don't see me commenting and downvoting every single one because I dislike smut and fallout fics. I just ignore them.

Dimensionally Mis[alced

Oops. Do believe you meant to put a p there and not a bracket

In truth I have never seen black clover or heard of it till a coworker of mine mentioned it a few weeks ago is it any good and where can I find it?

Not bad, but lots of grammar errors I see.

9622816
Yea my grammar suxs, but I more than willing to take advice

9622819
Probably a good idea to find people to do proofreading for ya. Some proofreaders wait till the chapter you submit is completed, whereas some others prefer access to the chapter as it is mid-creation.

Love the story. Never seen black clover I heard about it.

This story remind of one fanfic where the human in it cosplays in power armor from fallout 4 with minigun in hand and intervenes is some pony-griffin war.

Seems the ponies in this story are anthro. If you meant them to be anthro I suggest adding the tag.

9622792
Also, that would then spell "mispalced".

Comment posted by Who cares deleted May 15th, 2019

What did Who Cares say?

9623488
Sounds familiar, Can you link it?

As soon as I saw the word 'Asta' I already started hearing the skin-peeling cringing that is his loud shouting and screaming.

Another great chapter, as usual. And you did better with the grammar this time. Still some issues here and there though.

Great story, I love it! Can't wait for the next one!

Just a guess, shit is going down?

I like the story so far keep it up :)

Great story, can't wait to see asta meet the rest of the ponies. Can't wait for the next one!

“Um. Normal Humans can use magic Fluttershy,”

'can't', not 'can'.;)

Like this story so Far by the way i ship it

I did not know he had a brother Is he gonna see him again ?

“Sorry. Spaced out,” I rubbed the back of my head. “Yea, I was sent here after I won a game of Blackjack against the guy calling himself ‘The Gambler’ at the comic-book convention I was at. After that, he sent here with everything from his stall,” They both raised an eyebrow. ‘It’s all in this book but I have no idea how to access the items other than my swords. The note I found said I would have to figure that out on my own but it also said what I choose to do in this world is up to me.”

“Wait, ya said ya were sent here as the person ya were dress as?” Applejack looked at me confused.


He said nothing of the sort. You left out a lot there.

Great story, can't wait for the next one! Also are we going to see black asta.

9628431
No i didn't. this spacing out refers to he thinking on his family internally .

9628674
that won't be till later but yes

9628698
Yeah, you did. He never once said he was turned into what he was dressed up as, or even that he was dressed in a costume at all. Literally copied and pasted it right there.

Lots of proofreading still needed. But, still good. What's that armguard thing from?

You forgot that the magic absorbing sword is deadly for magic users to touch because unless you are its original owner only a person with no magic can touch it and not be drained dry.

9630435
I'm was actually saving that part for a little later

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