Twilight sets out traveling with someone she doesn't know. It's not Pinkie Pie, and it's not her friend. It's just another setback. But she's patient, and she won't have to deal with this setback for much longer.

Written as part of the Snippet Series, a collaboration between me and Casketbase77, lengthened and published separately.

Image Source

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

Y E S !

One of your best works, finally published and ready to be read by the world. Bet your bottom Bit I’ll be promoting the buck out of this fic on Thursday.

Tragic, both in genesis and finality.
Well done.

Added and revised a bit too, just for the hell of it.


Huh... weird, but interesting.

Well, that was haunting. Fascinating concept, if only lightly explored. And Pinkie's attitude on the continuity of existence based on mind-quilts seems inconsistent, though that could be going mad from grief. A great idea, but it would definitely work better if expanded.

So I'm trying to decide if Twilight let herself get killed on purpose or not.

She didn't want to by the end. If she wanted to before that is up in the air.

You made me Alt Tab out to a binary computer just to be hit with “yeppers.” Utterly unforgivable.

I like the subtle establishment that Twilight is not an alicorn in the opening. It’s something I shrugged at the first read through. Not the second one, though. Newmaker Twi is gonna have wings, bro!

Hmm... traumatically mutilated friend reborn as a cheerful bot while the surviving friend who feels responsible labors away in melancholy emotional turmoil. I dunno if I should be salty at you for running with that premise, or at my subconsciousness for making me choose the original pic. Either way, I’m salty at someone.

Didn’t recognize the song Ponk 2.0 was singing in the second scene. This meets our “References Casket Doesn’t Recognize” for the day.

The “neither could twitch” line hits hard. That’s some deep character building in just three words. My sincere congrats on making this Twilight thoroughly in need of a karmic thrashing.

Yeah, okay, I get it. The big ass eels eat Ponies and don’t get poisoned. Thanks for rubbing it in.

Lordy lordy, this had the whole emotional gamut of what I love to see in robot stories. Existentialism, bravery, doubt, and ultimately a sense of cautious faith. Even throws a few curveballs by allowing the reader an ever-evolving opinion of Twilight and a nagging question of whether of not Newmaker is completely Pinkie. Honestly, I was blown away by this one. Easily on par with the Blind Starlight one from a few weeks back, and surpassed only by your Shimmerverse installments. Has the weight and feel of a real parable. I’m a little unsure why they were in the Ghastly Gorge at the end there. Is it meant to show that Twilight was actively suicidal? Or was it just a convenient place to have the climax happen.

I will never regret any choices so long as they spite someone.

The song is '100 pounds of clay' by Gene McDaniels, about how god made the first men and women out of inanimate sand and made the world better by doing so. Thought it fit.

The gorge was just convenient, and something I threw in purposefully so spite you. Thought it would be nice to annoy you in the middle of what I wrote to be a somewhat sad scene.

I'm glad you liked the ending, which means the only worry I have about this story was that the Newmaker metaphor might've been a bit... Insensitive. I suppose that might just be my unending worry I might be hurting people that plagues me at every waking moment.

I think the narration makes it abundantly clear that Twilight is being morally insensitive and we aren’t supposed to condone her attitude. That said, we do feel sympathy for her and don’t actively root for her to fail. I’ve said before that anything can be touched on if the narrative is doing it for an artistic reason. This story absolutely has the chops to tackle its subject matter. 

In a world where it's possible (if difficult) to get someone back from the dead of your own volition, how far will you go? How far is enough? And how much can you take away without throwing away one's identity... or how much can you add without doing the same?

I think this rivals Those because you pack a great deal of theme-related meaning and emotion into this in a shorter timespan. With FoME, I agree that perhaps there should be a bit more, at least to show off more characterization with this version of Twilight and this version of Pinkie because the theme is fascinating to mine, instead of fast-tracking it from intro, the main points of the theme, and then into the gorge. There's also concern about

Even then, it's small stuff that doesn't majorly detract from the story. While this is set in an alternate universe, you don't delve into it too much, especially with how short it is, and it makes it better than the average fan fic because this Pinkie and especially this Twilight aren't the same ones... and a heartless Twilight, falling from the grace of genuine friendship, without the context of alicornhood or becoming evil G5-fan-theory style is nice to see executed well.

Anyway, this is a great fic! Thank you for it.

... but we're going to use what we have to buy out this towns supplies.

*town's :moustache:

It was Illegal beyond all measure, ...

Is "Illegal" capitalized for emphasis, or is this an error? :moustache:

i generally capitalize for emphasis.

Login or register to comment