Because I Know What's Missing

Twilight grimaced in pain, feeling familiar pains shooting through her flank as razor sharp claws grazed it, giving her the needed burst of adrenaline to keep pushing, gaining speed on the pack of wooden predators snapping behind her and onwards to the cliff screaming towards her. Upon reaching it she didn't hesitate for a minute; Just as the timberwolves caught up for what would surely be her last chance, she leapt off the rocks, falling alongside the waterfall beside her. The lake below grew in size as she fell, scrambling through her bags midair to pull out a short, firm copper bar. A quick shake and it unfolded, smaller bars sliding out of each end, alongside wingflaps on the side of each, unfurling to catch the air. The unicorn soared up for a minute, shooting breath back into her lungs, before gravity kicked in once more, pulling her into a gentle glide over the trees as she hung from the bars like a scared cat.

Immediately upon reaching the ground, she checked her saddlebags. It was impossible to not have lost something in that chase, what with her rummaging through them seconds before the timberwolves had found her, and not having enough time to close them, but lost food and supplies didn't concern her as much as one item in particular; The item that had been driving her through the woods and the outskirts of Equestria in the first place her on her travels. She sighed in relief as she pulled it out, cradling it like an infant child - A rudimentary, gold colored copper mold of a hairless, featureless equine head, like a metal mannequin. Only the muzzle and ears kept it from being an emotionless sphere, and a cheerful black smile was poorly painted on under the two tiny lightbulbs in place of eyes.

"Give me a sign." She breathlessly asked, beginning to calm down upon seeing the lack of scratches or dents.

The right eye slowly blinked on with a golden light. Just as quickly, it blinked out. Then the left one blinked. Then again. After an excruciatingly long minute, both blinked off, confident with the message delivered.

01111001 01100101 01110000 01110000 01100101 01110010 01110011

No machinery whirred inside it, no electricity ran. The mold was completely empty, save for some wires beneath the bulbs, and even those weren't connected to anything. No artificial intelligence existed in the head at all. Something much more powerful ran it, driving its motions.

"Good to hear. Just hang in there for a while longer. We'll find some more materials."

The everpresent smile almost seemed to widen- If that were possible, on someone like her. Twilight nearly shed a tear in relief, pressing her copper forehead to her own.

"I've missed you so much. I can't wait until we're done."

Twilight trudged through the tall grass, muttering to herself and checking her map, looking for the closest settlement. Strapped to her back, nestled between saddlebags, the copper upper endoskeleton torso and head of a clockwork pony sat, gently humming to herself, occasionally interjected with bursts of singing.

"I'm gonna fix this-a world today! Because I know what's missin'! Then he rolled his big sleeves up and-"

"Please. I'm trying to focus." Twilight panted, "I haven't been able to make many bits, but we're going to use what we have to buy out this towns supplies. As much metal as they can give us, we're taking."

"Aww, c'mon, you don't have to worry that much, Twi. I'm fine here. Well, come to think of it, a tail would be nice. But only if it twitches! You and I both know-"

"Yes, I know. Please, I can't listen to you talk unless..." She stopped dead in her path, blowing raggedy hair off her muzzle and looking forward through drooping eyelids. How long had she been walking? Did she stop to rest at the last village?

"Unless it's her voice, it's just bringing me pain."

The being on her back scoffed as well as it could with its robotic voice box. "What's wrong with this voice? I'm still Pinkie! I don't need-"

"Don't call yourself that. You will be her. But you aren't her. Until I can finish you, you're Newmaker."

The being struggled in her confines, trying to turn herself around. Her neck was still a stiff rod, and her movement was limited - But she could sure wiggle.

"Twi, I am her. You've pulled me out of her and put me in this metal shell. Making me look and sound like her won't make me any more her. That part's already done. I could be in a toaster and it wouldn't matter."

Twilight didn't answer, folding her map up and stuffing it in her bags, facing forward sternly and with just as much rigidity as the being on her back. The being sighed, letting itself fall limp and continuing to stare up into the sky, wondering what it would look like if she could see it. As she pondered, she continued muttering to herself forlornly, voice cracking and glitching like an old radio.

"And a brand-new world began... He created a woman... And lots of loving..."

The being struggled on its copper hooves, moving each with a rigid motion that allowed no stretching beyond directly forward or backward into a step. Twilight gently encouraged her, avoiding looking into the empty eyes and instead focusing on the sheen on her legs.

"You can do it... One hoof in front of the other... You got this, Newmaker"

"Twilight... Please call me Pinkie... I don't know what I need to tell you... Don't pretend there's any circuitry or servos in here... Anything that would make me less equine... I'm hollow except for these gears and some lights. You know what else you put in here."

"Keep moving... Keep walking..."

"Twilight. Tell me what else you put in here, and look at me."

Twilight slowly looked up. She took in every detail of the painted face and soulless eyes. She thought of that artificial smile, and what she remembered of the real smile, forever plastered on now. She thought of the body she had stared at for hours after she noticed it lying beside her, empty, time stretching into eternity, feeling vanishing from her bones as she stared at it. She thought of the magic she had done, ripping unknown essences out of the body and into the conductive copper on her desk. She thought of what she had made from that copper. She looked at what she had made, dead in its lighted eyes.

Copper was a rarity back home, in Equestria. In a land where gemstones could be found buried inches under the grass, copper was one of the most valuable items a civilization could trade, not only for its monetary value, but for its magical properties; Copper was one of the only metals that could store a soul. It was Illegal beyond all measure, but there are situations where one simply doesn't care. Situations that drove ponies miles away from home, to foreign fields off the map, to badlands and forests maps didn't cover.

"I put her into you. I put my friend into a piece of metal."

The being continued smiling, unable to do anything else.

"Is that what you did? Is she dead then? What are you building me for? What are you doing?"

"She is dead. I'm going to bring my friend back. I just need patience. And nothing's going to stop me, let alone you. You're nothing but a prototype for her. If you break, I'll just make a new one. Go ahead. Die right now, for real. For real." Twilight's voice solidified, slashing daggers through the air.

The being put one hoof in front of the other, staring ahead and grinning like a clown, wishing she could cry.

Twilight gently wrapped a sheet of flannel around the being. It alternated between two shades of pink, about a quarter of an inch for each, in no order. Some patterns repeated for inches, some patterns were evenly divided between the two colors, and some patterns were everything in between. The being looked it over, barely able to make it out through wavy glass, wondering if it was warm.

Her body was thicker now, metal covering the wire endoskeleton, with molds for hair and a tail on both ends of her body. Neither could twitch. Her voice had been tweaked, sounding like a heartless impersonation of Pinkie, like a voice run through thousands of modulators and distorters. Her face was more smoothly molded and shaped, pink paint chipping to show the copper underneath. Magic had finally given her sight through her lightbulb eyes, and she wish it hadn't. With sight, she could see how Twilight forced herself to look at her.

"This quilt has Pinkie's brain in it. The lighter pink is 1, the darker pink 0. If something happens to you, I'm starting from scratch. And I'll keep starting over again as many times as I need."

"And if something happens to you?"

"Then it won't matter anymore. Newm-"

"That isn't me." She pawed at the quilt around her barrel halfheartedly. "That will be a robot. I'm me, right now. This is me. Twilight, think about what you're doing."

Twilight turned around, trotting quickly and lowering her ears. Walls of rock rose miles into the air on both sides of them, littered with caves and crevices. At the very bottom of the gorge they walked, alongside rocks of all shapes and sizes, and a single pitiful river they kept alongside, trying not to dry up.

The gorge was weaving in and out of Equestria. Twilight wasn't sure why she had taken this route, instead of simply walking around it. It would save her the danger that lurked inside. But something demanded she trudge through it, despite everything. And it demanded that she keep trudging, no matter what.

Twilight's legs and frogs were sore. Her muscles were aching. They had been walking for hours, only stopping when Twi decided the pink quilt should be kept on the being. It could guess why.

"Twilight..."

"I miss your smile." She muttered into space, refusing to look back, "I miss your eyes. I miss your hugs. I miss your kisses. I miss everything about you, and I refuse to stop until I have every bit of you back."

"Twilight... You're not going to get that. I don't like to make people sad, but I need to be honest. You're never going to see me again. This is what you're stuck with." She gestured to herself with her new motion fluidity, taking pleasure in bending her foreleg towards herself, "Think of how I feel. I want you back too, and this isn't you. What happened to me was traumatic for both of us, and you... Didn't want to let it go. Now you've gotten what you want, and you're only making it worse for yourself. Twilight, look at me."

Twilight stopped dead in her tracks. She trudged over to one of the stone walls, right against a cave leading into a deep darkness, leaning her head against it.

"Look at me." The being repeated.

She slowly turned to it. The painted on smile greeted her again, unchanged, only able to decay.

"I'm not Newmaker. I'm Pinkie. And I'm here for you."

The two stared at each other, wind blowing through the gorge. Finally, after a moment, Twilight began approaching her. The being sat down, spreading its forelegs for a hug. Twilight walked forward, crossing in front of the deep black cave to reach her.

Something inside the cave rumbled. The two met directly in front of it, wrapping their hooves around each other gently. The tunnel began shaking. Twilight held back tears, burrowing her face into the being's metallic shoulder. A distant cry echoed. The being slowly rotated its new neck, rigidly turning 90 degrees to look into the cave. Pebbles around them trembled and shook. The being's lightbulb eyes stared dead ahead, smile not wavering once as their new guest finally greeted them, moments before she could kick her voicebox back on.

The quarry became a blur. A set of gaping red jaws snapped shut around both of them, encasing them in wet darkness. Twilight screamed as she was pulled away from the being by a forked tongue sloshing between them, both tossed left and right inside the closed maw.

The being felt herself dent as something sharp crushed into her barrel with the force of a truck, but her body held tight, and the sharp object cracked first. Beside her, Twilight's scream died, only to be replaced with the deep howling from the throat behind them, drowning out everything else.

The being sat at the cave's mouth, listening to the retreating sounds of the quarry eel that had attacked them, having frantically ejected its meal after breaking a tooth. Twilight lay before her. It had stared at her for what felt like hours after it noticed her lying beside it, time stretching into eternity.

Twilight was sliced cleanly cut into two at the barrel. Her entrails hung limply between the two halves, dripping blood lazily. Her eyes stared ahead, mouth ajar slightly. Her saddlebags were split open, copper and food spilling out, along with a long piece of flannel.

The being picked up the flannel, carefully examining it. It alternated between two colors, violet and purple, about a quarter of an inch for each, in no order. Some patterns repeated for inches, some patterns were evenly divided between the two colors, and some patterns were everything in between.

Pinkie gently wrapped Twilight's body in the flannel, folding it into a parcel and placing it on her back, before trudging onwards through the gorge, repeating the long pattern of colored lines to memory as she walked, never ceasing to smile.

She would get her friend back. She just needed patience.

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Comments ( 15 )

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Casketbase77

Casketbase77 #1 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 3 · ·

YES!
YES!
Y E S !

One of your best works, finally published and ready to be read by the world. Bet your bottom Bit I’ll be promoting the buck out of this fic on Thursday.

StormDancer

StormDancer #2 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 3 · ·

Tragic, both in genesis and finality.
Well done.

Str8aura

Str8aura #3 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 1 · ·

10511702
Added and revised a bit too, just for the hell of it.

fanreader999999

fanreader999999 #4 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · ·

Hum.

Huk

Huk #5 · Nov 3rd, 2020 · · ·

Huh... weird, but interesting.

FanOfMostEverything

FanOfMostEverything #6 · Nov 3rd, 2020 · 2 · ·

Well, that was haunting. Fascinating concept, if only lightly explored. And Pinkie's attitude on the continuity of existence based on mind-quilts seems inconsistent, though that could be going mad from grief. A great idea, but it would definitely work better if expanded.

Hobbestc

Hobbestc #7 · Nov 6th, 2020 · 1 · ·

So I'm trying to decide if Twilight let herself get killed on purpose or not.

Str8aura

Str8aura #8 · Nov 6th, 2020 · 1 · ·

10517717
She didn't want to by the end. If she wanted to before that is up in the air.

Casketbase77

Casketbase77 #9 · Mar 26th, 2021 · 2 · ·

You made me Alt Tab out to a binary computer just to be hit with “yeppers.” Utterly unforgivable.

I like the subtle establishment that Twilight is not an alicorn in the opening. It’s something I shrugged at the first read through. Not the second one, though. Newmaker Twi is gonna have wings, bro!

Hmm... traumatically mutilated friend reborn as a cheerful bot while the surviving friend who feels responsible labors away in melancholy emotional turmoil. I dunno if I should be salty at you for running with that premise, or at my subconsciousness for making me choose the original pic. Either way, I’m salty at someone.

Didn’t recognize the song Ponk 2.0 was singing in the second scene. This meets our “References Casket Doesn’t Recognize” for the day.

The “neither could twitch” line hits hard. That’s some deep character building in just three words. My sincere congrats on making this Twilight thoroughly in need of a karmic thrashing.

Yeah, okay, I get it. The big ass eels eat Ponies and don’t get poisoned. Thanks for rubbing it in.

Lordy lordy, this had the whole emotional gamut of what I love to see in robot stories. Existentialism, bravery, doubt, and ultimately a sense of cautious faith. Even throws a few curveballs by allowing the reader an ever-evolving opinion of Twilight and a nagging question of whether of not Newmaker is completely Pinkie. Honestly, I was blown away by this one. Easily on par with the Blind Starlight one from a few weeks back, and surpassed only by your Shimmerverse installments. Has the weight and feel of a real parable. I’m a little unsure why they were in the Ghastly Gorge at the end there. Is it meant to show that Twilight was actively suicidal? Or was it just a convenient place to have the climax happen.

I will never regret any choices so long as they spite someone.

The song is '100 pounds of clay' by Gene McDaniels, about how god made the first men and women out of inanimate sand and made the world better by doing so. Thought it fit.

The gorge was just convenient, and something I threw in purposefully so spite you. Thought it would be nice to annoy you in the middle of what I wrote to be a somewhat sad scene.

I'm glad you liked the ending, which means the only worry I have about this story was that the Newmaker metaphor might've been a bit... Insensitive. I suppose that might just be my unending worry I might be hurting people that plagues me at every waking moment.

I think the narration makes it abundantly clear that Twilight is being morally insensitive and we aren’t supposed to condone her attitude. That said, we do feel sympathy for her and don’t actively root for her to fail. I’ve said before that anything can be touched on if the narrative is doing it for an artistic reason. This story absolutely has the chops to tackle its subject matter.

Comma Typer

Comma Typer #10 · Mar 14th, 2022 · 1 · ·

In a world where it's possible (if difficult) to get someone back from the dead of your own volition, how far will you go? How far is enough? And how much can you take away without throwing away one's identity... or how much can you add without doing the same?

I think this rivals Those because you pack a great deal of theme-related meaning and emotion into this in a shorter timespan. With FoME, I agree that perhaps there should be a bit more, at least to show off more characterization with this version of Twilight and this version of Pinkie because the theme is fascinating to mine, instead of fast-tracking it from intro, the main points of the theme, and then into the gorge. There's also concern about

Even then, it's small stuff that doesn't majorly detract from the story. While this is set in an alternate universe, you don't delve into it too much, especially with how short it is, and it makes it better than the average fan fic because this Pinkie and especially this Twilight aren't the same ones... and a heartless Twilight, falling from the grace of genuine friendship, without the context of alicornhood or becoming evil G5-fan-theory style is nice to see executed well.

Anyway, this is a great fic! Thank you for it.

iloveportalz0r