Quills and Sofas Writer, Comment Clubber, Professional Procrastinater, She/Her
The Writers' Group56,454 stories ·9,300 members
One-Shots18,923 stories ·2,369 members
School for New Writers9,629 stories ·5,013 members
I Just Want a Comment15,721 stories ·3,674 members
The Shameless Self-Promotion Bureau49,296 stories ·5,461 members
The Barcast2,296 stories ·1,118 members
Quills and Sofas Speedwriting619 stories ·342 members
New Authors and Stories Looking for Recognition188 stories ·42 members
Fluttershy awakes to find she has been revived by Twilight using science and magic. However, how much of a blessing is it really?
This story was originally written as a Panicfiction over at Quills and Sofas Speedwriting.
Proofread, Edited, and Cover Art by C_II_R.
Featured on sandbox on 2020/9/8!
Page generated in 0.202 seconds
Total duration
747 users online
1,447,281 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Good God dude, it's like a masterpiece. When I first read it during the panic, I thought it was a little light. Now though, it's much more fleshed out (pun intended). Makes me wonder what I could do with my own submission.
10424468
Thanks! I loved your entry quite a lot. Love your CloudFlitter stories too.
Yeah, this failed. Mostly because it's too short for this sort of thing. You shoved what should have been several thousand, at least, words into just over 1000.
As much as I hate stories that have Twilight become like this, most at least are smart enough to have the story be longer to get it across.
10424500
Keep in mind, most of it was written during a speed writing contest. No offense, but I think that's a little harsh.
10424503
I've read spead writings before. Some make it work with small word counts. This isn't one of them.
I don't apologize for not having an opinion filter.
I loved reading this, both during the panic and again here. I think the edits really did help a lot. It’s a solid story that yes, could very easily be expanded into 5-10k words, but sometimes all you need is 1,000. Short and sweet and simple, something that hits you with a quick one two punch and doesn’t require the investment of an hour or more to read and comprehend. I thought this one was really good, and now that I’ve followed you, I can keep up to date with more of your work
Fluttershy wants to die, because her body doesn't feel right? Well that sometimes happens after an accident! If you lose a limb, or get nerve-damage, or something. It was wrong for Twilight to "set Fluttershy free", that's just a nice way of saying "commit murder".
10424750
In all technicality, Fluttershy had already died. Twilight bringing her back was unhealthy for Twilight mentally and just serves to keep Twilight from making peace with her death.
Fluttershy knew this and didn't want to do that to Twilight, and since she already didn't feel right, she asked Twilight to let her return to the afterlife.
10424762
Yes, Fluttershy had already died. So what? We bring people back from the dead all the time, it's called CPR.
And maybe it was unhealthy for Twilight to spend as much time and effort as she did, bringing Fluttershy back. Maybe it would have been healthier for her to just accept Fluttershy's death. Again, so what? The damage is already done, that time and effort has already been spent. Killing Fluttershy isn't going going to give Twilight her time and effort back.
10424514
I don't think its 'not having an opinion filter' so much as it is just being rude. All the stories on this site are something someone worked hard on, edited, and wanted to share with others. Stamping all over someone else's creation, especially when they're new to writing, just isn't called for.
10424762
For what it's worth, I thought your story was excellent! Short, yes, but it didn't need to be any longer to get in the scenes you wanted to depict. I can definitely see Twilight going a bit neurotic and trying to restore a friend to life, and Fluttershy's character in particular was spot on. She would definitely want to be released. You even had Twilight learn a friendship lesson at the end! 10/10
Interesting read. I do think that the story could be slowed down and stretched out a bit more. It does feel a little quick. That said, it's an interesting concept. The fact that Twilight put Fluttershy in a new robot body (correct me if I'm wrong) instead of reviving her old body reminds me of the Ship of Theseus paradox. All in all, I find the concept works and the story well written. You get a like from me, mate.
I like the ending scene where Fluttershy asks to be told about everything and everyone she’d missed, and that she was content to stay for the hours necessary to hear it all: it shows that even though she can’t bear to stay (which as sad as it is, it's believable for the story given our real life ignorance of the effects of a years-later resurrection on a person's well-being), she still cares for her friends, and Fluttershy gives Twilight the closure that she suspected the Princess needed.
10425356
Thanks! Means a lot coming from you.
This was a nice sweet story. Of course, as others have mentioned, this could have been expanded a lot. However, I think there's also some truth in Fluttershy realizing right away that this was the wrong thing to do and Twilight realizing she's right. Given this was a speedfic, you got the characters' voices down. Good job!
A masterpiece, my friend. You've just earned another upvote on the story.
10426312
10426314
Thanks to both of ya.
10425290
I think there's one important difference between this and the Ship of Theseus: The Ship of Theseus is a thing, Fluttershy is a man.
If you replace both the handle and the blade of your ax, then it's highly questionable it it's the same ax. Because every component of it has been replaced, nothing of the original ax is left. That's because an ax is a thing, not a man. Men are not mere objects, made of components. Men can think, men have minds. And it's our minds that make us men.
So long as Fluttershy's mind is intact, she is alive. It doesn't matter if every component of her body has been replaced, because Fluttershy's body isn't what makes her Fluttershy. Her mind is what makes her Fluttershy!
10426733
Fair point
Reviewed!
Hello Emotion Nexus, it's applezombi from My Little Reviews and Feedback!
Here is the first of two reviews for the day!
I heard you liked reviews! Here's another one!
This wasn't what I expected it to be at all, and I really enjoyed it. Twi being sad because she misses her mortal friends far into the future is nothing new, but that doesn't mean it can't be interesting or handled in vivid and believable ways. However, bringing a pony's soul back from the dead and putting them into an artificial body like the machine Twilight constructed is new. Admittedly, I would have loved to see a sequel or a dramatically expanded piece of this because there are so many things that can come from this idea. For example, the way Fluttershy talked about the legitimate wrongness of her experience and knowledge that she should be dead implied that there was somewhere she needed to be, yet you manage to dodge the question of whether or not there is an afterlife for these creatures in a believable way. While I would have loved to see how you painted the future of Equestria and its familiar immortal faces, that Fluttershy decided to be de-powered within one conversation was still well-written and evocative. I'd just be satisfied with a longer, richer version of this story that the current word count doesn't really cover.