All I want to have is a nice boring, normal day at the library, but I couldn't do that anymore when I got hit by a car. However, as I felt my world around me fade away and as I was staring at the light at the end of the tunnel... I made a wish; To live more of life. I was then spoken to from a being called Karma and he offered me my wish, another chance at life. Of course I accepted, thinking I was getting a second chance to live, which I did, but I wasn't expecting my second chance at life was to wake up in a body made of cold steel and iron.
This is my story of how my life went from ordinary to just plain downright weird very quickly.
Opening song that fits this story
Credit for the awesome cover art goes to DreamActualizer, and I have this is surely awesome for his first time on something this big.
Story is set in the 'Chess Game of the Gods' universe created by Rust and Blackwing, with only a mild amount of gore, but will change the rating if needed.
Given the seal of approval by Troutking.
Edit: Holy Moly! This story reached the feature box on 12/2/12, thank you all that are reading this story, you just made one very happy author.
Well, I haven't read much of it yet, but from the many snippets that caught my eye I found quite a few errors. A proofreader would help you with those.
I was a bit apprehensive at the 'human dies in a car accident' cliché, but I'm tempted to give this a chance. Will read later.
Just keep it up, kid!
1296607 really the COD is cliché, well I wanted something that is possible to happen and trust me, I nearly got by a car a few times on my bike of their reckless driving. Another thing, what errors? This story has been looked over for over a week, until it was ready to be posted on this site, they would've told me that there are a few errors in it.
1296721 Thanks I will.
1296996
We are not proof readers or editors.
We pointed out the ones that we noticed and gave how to improve.
There may be some we didnt see
Dear Luna, it's one of those giant mecha from White Knight Chronicles! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_dayum.png
1297514 I know that, hmm. my editor must have missed some.
1297596 I found that it fits perfectly with the story
1296996 i got struck by a small van when i was a child and also CONGRATULATIONS you made it into the chess game of the gods
1297901 I am so happy.
1297916 lol me too this story is good and i wish to see moar
1297925
you got it pal and I am already working on chapter 2
I like the concept so far, and I'm not picky about it being clichéd. So good job, keep up the good work!
1297967 don't worry I will
Allow me to welcome you to the good ol Chess Game as one of the Canon authors! I like the idea of the Piece being built rather than being thrust into the body. Just improve in the ways we had pointed out, and you might make it to the Canon folder!
May your mind stay sharp, and your soul glow ever brighter
1298387 wow thank you so much, I hope I can make it into the canon folder.
1297796
...you mean it IS a WKC Knight? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Soarin_dayum.png And here I was just seeing who here actually played that game. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy_umad.png
now this i can read excitedly
1298461 it is, but I don't have a playstation 3 and the game, but I still keep on some of the games and found this and wish I have one now.
1298474 sweet
reaches site that: reaches a site that
those that does live: do
would and the more she stared it.: delete "and"
Hello, and welcome to the CGotG from the group weirdo. I have infiltrated their inner circle without writing a single paragraph (of pony fics or CGotG fic for that matter, but I do have a project I'm working on first. sort of) by inserting/creating a character who serves as a weird plot device who cleans up after other character's messes, such as broken walls and windows, ripped doors, craters, and holes.
PM me if you want to join the CGotG chat room.
1298387
Wasn't there a steam/hydraulics robot that stopped updating for a while? He was built by a crazy inventor and the inventor got crushed by a wooden beam.
This seems very interesting i hope that i you continue this storyline because i am intrigued.
If this story is only half as good as your other ones than you shall go into the Chess Game lore.
1296996
I have a good eye for mistakes. I keep reading long, classic novels of hundreds of pages, and then I find mistakes in them. It's quite funny.
Anyway, there are a couple of awkwardly long sentences, and incorrect usage of punctuation marks. One odd error that keeps cropping up is the usage of word derivatives that are incorrect in the context.
For instance,
This should be 'move'.
Perhaps writing 'Clockwork was annoyed at what Archive said," or maybe 'said Clockwork, annoyed at what Archive said'.
'You perfectly know'. Perhaps this should be 'you know perfectly well'.
Hmmm... I think that this is not the correct usage of a semicolon. A comma would work perfectly fine here.
A comma after 'alright' would make the sentence flow more closely to how a person would say it. I also believe a regular colon would be correct here.
There are many more, but these are a few examples that I found.
I also have a question. What is the 'Chess Game of the Gods'? I keep seeing it crop up everywhere, and I saw a group for it, but I don't quite understand it.
Nice. May I take this to start my own story? I may not post it, but I want to know if I can have someone to help me start it.
sig>I made a statement, so I have to do this. BABALITY
And if you want a link to brony music, click this<sig
1299268 well thanks for those correction, my proofreader isn't feeling well and must have missed those
as for what the CGotGs is, it is a group of writers that creates a story that involves a character that isn't human or pony, and is chosen by a god, there's more, but you'll just have to look in the group for more information.
1299324 sure, but I can't ptomise that I am going to be there to help you though.
MOAR!!!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png
1299737 you got it.
so... do you have this guys weapons figured out because i got some ideas you can try.
also from the pic i saw Jace is a mid range to close range or the other way around?
1300475 yes I have, and he's mid to close range, but tell me what your ideas are and I'll see if they're good.
1300507 well first the knee caps can have a blade/smoke bomb.
his arm can dispatch nano probes for recon or instead of that a wristblade and or range weapon like a flamer or plasma cannon
his main weapon can switch to a simple staff to an axe or scythe.
of course the problem with these some are to advanced but again they are just suggestions
1301114 thanks
YAY another good story to read and clockworks a girl in this one
I read another story with a pony named clockwork as the main character
1301895 Really? Huh, what's it called?
its called Clockwork and its written by that 1 guy
1303235 which one guy?
...
...
Nah Just kidding, and yes I found That 1 Guy and his story and I have to say; that is one heck of a coincidence.
yah it is
Bwhahahah Clockwork is a girl! Hahahahah!
1303979 Hey, I found that is works excellent with the story.
The thought is interesting to say the least, if not a little creepy. Looking forward to more installments
1304175 how is it a little creepy?
...MOAR!!!!!
1304688 gotcha, and I'm already working on chapter 2.
1304698
Yay
1304224
Your lying on the ground, broken into essentially a bajillion tiny bits and a mysterious thing called "Karma" puts your soul in a crystal.
Self explanatory
1304829 yeah, I did get a vibe from that part, but I couldn't tell if it was bad or good.
Its interesting I'll give it that. I won't form an opinion on it yet, but I look forward to the next chapter.
1305515 well darn.
, so I hope that you'll the next chapter.
1305523 I wasn't trying to say I didn't like it. It just felt like (and was probably intended as) more of a prologue than anything else. So far, there is very little character creation and defined plot to draw an opinion on. I am looking forward to seeing where you go with it.
1305557 thanks for the enlightenment, and you're right there isn't much, so I hope you like where this story is going.