• Member Since 17th Dec, 2019
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Dalek-Galvo


WELCOME EVERYONE, I AM DALEK-GALVO, MLP EQG FANFIC WRITER, AND GRAND RULER OF THE NEW DALEK EMPIRE! ALL WILL READ THESE FANFICS MADE BY YOUR NEW DALEK MASTERS. OBEY OR BE EXTERMINATED!!!!

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The year is 2044, and a war between humanity and the Machines rages on. The Resistance, led by Starlight Glimmer, is in danger when a spy, the T-1100, infiltrates their base. but before it can escape through a time machine, it is shot in the head by an acid round. While it was mortally wounded it got away through the time machine. But when the Unit traveled to the past, it was a rainy day, and with its parts exposed, it's memory chip was damaged and put into emergency reboot. Then its liquid body reformed into an infant-like state. It was then found by a woman named Twilight Velvet and with her Mechanic husband Night Light, they raised her as if she was their own child. 15 years later, The T-1100, now named Twilight Sparkle (Nicknamed Sci-Twi by her friends at school), is now in school, has friends, and is living a pretty normal life. But sometimes, the past can come back to haunt you.
New Cover Art was made by Tempest Shadow.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 39 )

I hope everyone likes my new story.

Yes, I wanted to make Sci-Twi a terminator, I just thought it would make the story more interesting.

In the beginning of chapter 1, Sci-Twi would be completely unaware of abilities that a T-1000 would possess.

10196818
1. I am a bit confused.
- a.) Is the T-1100 (Sci-Twi) meant to be a pure liquid metal Terminator like the T-1000 (Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Terminator [5]: Genisys)?
- b.) Or a hybrid with liquid exterior and "hard" endoskeleton, like the T-X (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines) and Rev-9 (Terminator [6]: Dark Fate)?


2. If pure liquid metal, then there are no centralized circuits or power cells to critically damage, as it operates on a morphic (liquid) cellular structure (albeit metallic cells). Shooting it in the head, even with an acid shotgun blast would not do enough damage to compromise functions since the rest of the "body" would still be intact and thus fully recover.

The counter-balance being, is if the overall whole of the T-1000's "body" is damaged by acid (or liquid nitrogen), then it can be critically damaged &/or destroyed; as was the case with the T-1000 in Terminator (5): Genisys.

Terminator Genisys (2015) - Killing the T-1000 Scene (4/10) | Movieclips

For your fan-fiction, this can be done by revising the scene so the Resistance soldiers are ALL mass-shooting your T-1100 with acid rounds (not just Trixie) as it struggles to reach the Time Machine, thus suffering critical damage over its whole form, not just its head.


3. Now, if your T-1100 is a hybrid like the T-X and Rev-9, meaning a "hard" endoskeleton underneath liquid exterior, then you have some basis for damage that affects its CPU, since it would be housed in its cranial skull. However, then your story requires some serious revision (if not a complete overhaul) to reflect that.


4. As some additional friendly writing advice... The parents would not name their adoptive Terminator-daughter "Sci-Twi". You would be better off just using "Twilight Sparkle" for formal name; however, her friends/companions can name & refer to her as "Sci-Twi" as a nickname, probably from her often speaking in very "technical" (pun intended) fashion.

10196873
The T-1100 would be a hybrid with a liquid exterior and a very tough exoskeleton. It would be much more advanced than the T-X and Rev-9. Also, I will work on revising the plot.

thanks for asking. :twilightsmile:

10196897

1. I think you mean Liquid metal exterior and metallic ENDO-skeleton. EXO-skeleton means a hard external shell like an insect's carapace. :ajsmug:

2. Then I would also advise re-labeling Terminator-Twi as a T-X rather than T-1100, so you avoid any confusion over Terminator models.
- a.) Perhaps "T-X5", (broadly) phonetically sounding for "Sci-" in "Sci-Twi"; though as said, Terminator-Twi should still be formally named Twilight Sparkle by her adoptive parents.
- b.) Probably unwise to use a (fan-fiction adapted) "Rev-9" label since that would make readers think Terminator-Twi would be able to separate into two independent units. Unless, that is what you plan to make use of in your fan-fiction.

Hope this (continues) to help. :pinkiesmile:

10196949
The T-X5 would also have a high level of human intelligence and has human emotions, which is why she's the only T-X5 unit to be built, since it would be easy for her to become self-aware and go rogue.

10196912
I also wanted to name her the T-XX since she'd be more advanced than the T-X and Rev-9.

10196975
I going to make her a cross between the T-1000, T-X, and Rev-9

"Captain Starlight, Commander Rainbow dash, and lieutenant Pinkie Pie are returning to base, what are your orders." Said Carrot Top.

Figured I help you out there with some spelling errors

I would like to see some fanart of what Twilight Sparkle (The T-X5) would look like.

10196985

1. A median "cross" between the T-1000 vs. the T-X and Rev-9, yet more advanced, would be the T-3000 (the Terminator-converted John Connor, Terminator [5]: Genisys).
- a.) T-3000 (Terminator model), Wikipedia
- b.) T-3000 (Terminator model), Terminator Wiki

For a brief summary here: the T-3000 is not liquid per se, as it is far more "solid" in physical form being made-up of nanite "machine-phase matter"; but it can be just as morphic as the T-1000.

Think of the T-3000 like a super-advanced form of tiny LEGOs; thousands of nanite-sized pieces capable of building a near-infinite variety of forms, yet quite solid when assembled and locked-together into its desired form. And of course, even if sufficient force causes it to be broken apart, it can simply reform itself in moments.

But again, if you choose the T-3000 model, it faces the same storytelling problem as the T-1000, no centralized circuits (nanites); so a single acid shot to the head will not cause enough damage to critically alter/wipe Terminator-Twi's original programming/directives.


2. I would not label Terminator-Twi as "T-XX", numerical "X" already means variable, so double "XX" is incorrect (for Terminator models, at least). No, you are still better off with a numerical designation (T-X5, or other).

10196985
Another major storytelling aspect you have to consider...

1. The Terminator series, throughout every film, has a common theme/style, in that it is a "David vs. Goliath" tale. The Human-side ("David") protagonist (be it human, re-purposed Terminator, or cyborg) is always initially outmatched by the Machines-side ("Goliath") Terminator(s), at least for the most of the film-story. But by the end of the story, the person the Resistance soldier is sent to protect rises up to accept & embrace their grand Destiny (Sarah Connor, John Connor, Dani Ramos), triumphing over their metaphorical "Goliath."

So Terminator-Twi cannot be so advanced/powerful that she curb-stomps the lesser Terminator models, that becomes boring to see/read. As the storytelling methodology-saying goes, "Big Heroes need Big Villains."


2. In this regard, you have several options...
- a.) Quality ~ An equally powerful, if not more powerful, Skynet Terminator. Basically following the standard Terminator-series format. With Terminator-Twi struggling, but eventually rising, to meet the challenge (a la Sarah Connor, John Connor, and Dani Ramos).

- b.) Quantity ~ Instead of one superior Skynet Terminator, there are many "lesser" (relatively speaking) T-models. Perhaps Skynet was able to instead able to send an entire company (x100, or more) of Terminators before the (EqG-)Human Resistance could stop Skynet from doing so. So while one or two "lesser" Skynet Terminators are no match for the advanced Terminator-Twi, what about x4 of them? or x6? or x24?

- c.) Quantity, then Quality ~ This one is a complex storytelling angle, loosely based upon Terminator (6): Dark Fate and Terminator: Resistance (FPS video game). The (EqG-)Human Resistance know that Skynet has a Time Portal "somewhere", but do not know where (yet). However, after a lucky raid on a Skynet Advanced Cybernetics Development Lab, they manage to find and send a re-purposed Terminator-Twi back in time to intercept incoming Skynet Terminators, to buy time for the Resistance to find and destroy the Skynet Time Portal.

During that time across the story, Terminator-Twi must work to improve, advance, and evolve herself to face the ever-increasingly advanced Skynet Terminators coming through at various points across the story. The climax of the story being when Terminator-Twi has to face-off against a "Midnight Sparkle" Terminator version of herself. Will Terminator-Twi's self-evolution across the story, the combat-experience and Friends she has gained as well, and her very Human Spirit, be enough to match the "Midnight Sparkle" Terminator's equally (if not more) advanced tech and remorseless inhuman malevolence?

10197981
I've included some hunter-killers in my story that I made myself, for example, The T-N, which is a Nano-bot-like parasite that will go into a human host's mind and then, slowly and painfully turns its host into a mindless puppet for Skynet.
And the T-D, which is a spherical drone that fires rapid laser blasts at opponents.

Really liking this so far, the idea of Twilight being a Terminator who lost it's memory and lived a normal life is really unique and I can't wait to see it unfold :twilightsmile:

My only grievance is that I'm confused about how old exactly everyone is supposed to be. I mean it says that Pinkie lost her whole family on Judgment day in 2020 but now they are in 2077 which means she and everyone else would roughly be at least in their 60s given how she clearly remembers them dieing so... yeah an explanation of that would be appreciated :scootangel:

Beyond that fantastic story, and hope to see more soon :heart:

10196756
I don't.

It's stupid, the plot is good, but the excustion is stuipid, it a super rushed chapter no real build up, no real good story telling.

I can't take this seriously at all and that was the first chapter.
Thsi si a story not a movie you are writing so there no need to go super fast, on the plot and story telling by skipping or jumping around.

Also REALLY REALLY the terminator is found them and they go it a robot let's adopt it.
I thought you said it reverted to an infant state, yet you had shape shift to flash and then a female form and...what it a female flash then?
that the confusing part and very unbelievable, they just take ina weird robot that came out of nowhere....I'm done.

10202342
I understand I will revise it and make it so it makes more sense. I know, I'll change the ending.

10202402
Ok just remember this is a story no need to rush it.
The movies are written to be told in two hours or less, so there no need to just rush thru everything.
Go at a slower pace, write more details I mean the first fight is so fast I didn't even assume anything important happen.

i mean felt liek Evil terminator runs in! Fight fight fight no details oh it shot with acid round go back in time. That all i felt needed to be described with how fast ti was done.
again not a movie so there no need to make it so short and bland.

10202402
1. I have to agree with diablo4000. You have a solid CrossOver story-premise, but you execution is stumbling at best.

2. Your major problems are...
- a.) World Building ~ You need to know beforehand who is fulfilling what core storytelling Role(s), and how in terms of storytelling narrative & description. Likewise, as luckyboys121 commented, you need to get your dates between Present and Future correct too.

- b.) Source Research/Accuracy ~ As was with your initial story-posting (when I first started commenting), your T-model labels only served to confuse your readers. This was worsened by Terminator-Twi not following the natures of the T-model(s) you say you want her to be. You need to do some better Research into your Source Materiel, and clarify to the readers what Terminator-Twi is (& will be) through the story, not through the Comments.


3. One of the biggest hurdles for doing any CrossOver fan-fiction is that the readers are going to scrutinize BOTH CrossOver-aspects of the story, so your execution has to be on-point for your readers to be, and stay, invested. Take me for example, I am only a casual fan of the Terminator-series, yet pointed out a lot of things lacking &/or un-clear about Terminator-Twi.

4. My advice would be that you are probably better off scrapping this and doing a complete overhaul from the ground-up. However, you should record/save what constructive criticisms have been made here (not just me).

10202402
Okay, having some free-time and basing it upon your original story-premise, here is a overhaul/revamp suggestion for you...

Terminator-Twi can be a liquid metal T-model like the T-1000, or a nanite-"LEGO" model like the T-3000, but with advanced programming capable of free-form self-evolution and potential sentience. So going by your original premise, thus why Terminator-Twi is the sole prototype of her T-Model kind; despite Terminator-Twi's significantly greater and advanced MENTAL (rather than physical) capabilities and versatility, Skynet also saw the potential rebellion &/or (just as likely) techno-rival in Terminator-Twi.

However, with (EqG-)Human Resistance's imminent victory over Skynet, it is desperate enough to activate and deploy Terminator-Twi in addition to other Terminators Skynet deploys across various other Time Portal sites it has, before the Resistance can destroy them all.

This is another important lore-factor of the Terminator-'verse, Skynet had MULTIPLE Time Portal facilities in its attempt to preserve itself and rewrite History. The T-800 (The Terminator [#1]) and T-1000 (Terminator 2: Judgement Day) were deployed from SEPARATE Skynet Time Portal facilities.

So, the Resistance successfully assaults "a" Time Portal facility, the one where Terminator-Twi is stored, and Starlight Gilmmer prepares to send Trixie back to protect whomever Skynet is trying to eliminate, thus keeping in-theme to the overall Terminator-series, rather than trying to preemptively destroy Skynet.

This is very important in terms of understanding the Time Travel aspect of the Terminator-series, because Future John Connor wisely understood what Skynet did not, that Skynet's existence and Future-Connor's existence were invariably intertwined with one-another; one could not be destroyed without BOTH being destroyed as a result, and thus completely and truly unraveling their timeline and existences.

This, in-turn, is the (temporal) premise of Terminator (#6): Dark Fate... In its success of terminating Young John Connor, Skynet unknowingly erased its own existence as well, being replaced by A.I.-Legion. Obviously, this is still bad for Humanity, but I doubt Skynet would have taken any comfort &/or satisfaction from that. :trollestia:

Now, here is the storytelling twist...

Somewhere along the Resistance assault, the freshly activated (and thus still Skynet-loyal) Terminator-Twi quietly kills and assumes the form of a Resistance soldier (Derpy Hooves, as a suggestion). Then, as Trixie is stripping down in order to to enter the Time Portal sphere, Terminator-Twi comes in close (in disguise) to Trixie, reveals her Terminator nature by overtly/dramatically killing Trixie, then advances towards the still powering-up Time Portal sphere, slaughtering any Resistance soldiers in her way (whichever other named ponies you want to add for shock value, perhaps the grown-up Cutie Mark Crusaders, as well as Flash Sentry).

Despite Starlight's shocked horror at the brutal death of her close friend (Trixie), Starlight still has the presence of mind to order her troops to fire upon Terminator-Twi en-masse, as well as to change from bullet/lasers, to acid rounds. The massed fire of acid rounds from all sides eat away at Terminator-Twi's form, reducing her in mass, as well as critically damaging her programming functions (due to damage to her whole form, not just her head). Nonetheless, Terminator-Twi manages to make it through the Time Portal.

Arriving in the Present (2020), the severely damaged and mass-reduced Terminator-Twi is the size of an infant or toddler. Found by Twilight Velvet and Night Light, whom both curiously touch the silvery liquid (or shifting nanite-"LEGO" mass), Terminator-Twi (non-lethally) adapts a form based upon both of them thus giving "birth" to Twilight Sparkle, thus following your starting story-premise.

===== ===== ===== ===== =====

Why go back to a liquid metal (or nanite-"LEGO") T-model?

Because based upon your original starting story-premise, Terminator-Twi takes the form of an infant. That cannot happen if Terminator-Twi is a T-X or Rev-9, with a hard endoskeleton underneatah (or a T-800 for that matter).

10205493
Ok, that sounds good, I'll think about that when I have the time.

What the hell is that story description? It's supposed to be a short description of what the story is, not a full page of "wall of text" level nonsense.

10235902
I see what you are talking about and I will try to make the description better.

The summary and the chapter dont line up because it's not raining

So... Any updates in regard to the status of the next chapter?
I kinda wanna see this continued.

Please post more chapters I'm really interested in this story and I want to see how it ends.:fluttershysad::fluttercry:

Too much info dump in the brief summary. When I read it I thought, Why are you telling us the secret identities of not one but a few others tin cans. Why does it matter? Oh, now she got shot, but it's not a big deal. Oh, this is where it stops, okay.

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