• Published 4th Feb 2020
  • 8,282 Views, 46 Comments

Which One of You Is It!? - LitMatchStick

Anon has a burning question for the Mane Six.

  • ...

It was...

"So... I'm good?" Anon asked. An ice pack was tied around his head, covering half of his face. There were also bandages underneath that covered the swollen eye.

The pony doctor went through his clipboard, making occasional glances at the human. "Well Mr. Anon, considering you've miraculously bounced back from the three other incidents, all on the same day, I'd say you'll do fine," he said. Flipping back to the first paper, he looked at Anon with tired eyes. "Please, don't come back for a fifth."

Anon was led into the hallway, where he eventually found himself back in the hospital's main entrance lobby. Besides the receptionist dozing away with her head propped up on one hoof, he was alone.

He stared at the ground for a good minute before inhaling the courage to pick up the phone in his pocket. With a flip and a press, he rang for the only one on the other side of the line, choosing an empty seat while he waited.

The sound of another phone's ring made him jump, causing him to look over at the other chairs. Sitting casually among one of them was Discord.

The draconequus picked up his own phone and answered, all the while grinning at Anon. "Hello? Halo? Allô? ¿Diga? Алло? もしもし?"

"Alright, I get it," Anon said through the phone. Both phones were promptly closed and poofed out of existence.

There was a snap, and Discord teleported into the chair next to his. "Aren't you going to tell me?" the draconequus asked, his chin resting on his paw.

"What's there to tell?"

"That Applejack is..." Discord used his other hand to make a circling motion, and right in front of Anon's face.

"You don't have to rub it in, alright." The human turned away, looking at the world outside the hospital's entrance.

"Oh, you don't have to look so dejected. It's not my fault that you didn't believe me."

"But she's the most southern of the six! Any of the other five? Sure. But her? Someone that values tradition the most! How can she be the one and not the literal walking rainbow?"

"You don't know much about pony culture, do you?"

"Ye⁠— No⁠— I⁠—" Anon sank into his chair, his arms hanging over the armrests. "Man... I just wanted to win the bet so I could get a functioning computer in this backwater place."

"With functioning interdimensional internet?"

"That too..."

Discord observed his paw, frequently turning it front and back before pressing the middle finger against the thumb. "You know, I could always send you home," he said, his head resting on his other hand.

"But I get free food here!"

Sighing, Discord straightened himself out and looked down at the pitiful creature not moving from the chair. "Alright, because I'm not without compassion, I'll give you another chance."

At this, Anon perked up and listened intently.

"Find whoever Applejack is head over hooves for, and I will give you your technology box."

"With internet?" Anon asked, hands together and doing his best to look even more pathetic.

"Yes, my friend, with internet." Discord snapped and he was gone.

Anon rose from his chair like a reborn phoenix. He looked at the door of the hospital once before his head snapped towards the glass barrier next to it. Feeling the rising fire in his heart, he clutched his fists.

"The. One."

Author's Note:

I think I need to stop before this gets out of hand

Comments ( 37 )

Well, that explains some things.

I'll be honest, I thought the twist was going to be that AJ was straight too and that the gay was in Anon all along

Please don't stop...

Anon isn't gay? What?

More please. The more this gets out if and, the better!

Never have I seen such reckless disregard for Ponies. Not since those amazing adventures had by TD, aka PUNCHMASTER

I think you should continue so it goes out of hand. :pinkiehappy: :pinkiecrazy:

He is faggot not a gay :D

Dont stop ,never stop please for the love of luna . We need to know the question who is she the big gay for

that's bananas, lole

something something south park

this better fooking continue my man cuz y'all making magics over here

Discord... you ass... it's very obvious who AJ is hot for. Rara/Rainbow/Rarity. AJ likes her R's.

this should become a full story


Well, I guess RD is bi then. Considering.

Well....shit, here we go again.

Short post about this story.

tl;dr - Sorry, but no further plans.

Holy Jesus this story was beyond brilliant! The idea, plot, and the choices of absolutely everything was simply phenominal! No complaints at all here! Only appraisal! I hope ya didn't mind, but I just had to make a reading on this fantastic story!

Audio Linko: https://youtu.be/1WfhYypeHJY

(I don't mean for this comment to be offensive in any way!)

I got my money on Appledash

Needs a sequel. Very much so.

This particular depiction of Anon reminded me of Shoutingisfun.

Just listened to a dramatic reading of this story and I had to come look you up so I could follow. I really hope there is a sequel. This story made me laugh so hard, its true genius.

Best anon story I’ve found, it feels that it’s better then if he had an actual name

If it wasn't for Discord (and Flutters), Rarity would be the only one to ever chase a guy...

Season 9 Finale Spoiler Warning!!!

Rainbow Dash is her lover!

I believe the mane 6 sexualities go like this

Rarity = Hetero
Fluttershy = Demi (with Discord)
Twilight = Demi (varies based on mood)
Rainbow Dash = Omnisexual (non-binary version of Bisexual)
Pinkie Pie = Asexual
Applejack = strictly Mares, whether she is in a "rule 63" or not

What a waste.

Omnisexual‽ Don't you mean pansexual?

Omni is another version of pansexual, I use it to avoid the ''so you're attracted to pans'' joke.
Omni= All
Pan= All

I've seen pansexual and omnisexual as having two slightly different meanings, and so actually being distinguishable from each other.

As a man who has yet to see the 9th season, thank you for that stuff. Noce to see my demographic represented in MLP.

Its Rarity, no questions asked

Absolutely cackled with laughter, chaotic Anon will always be best Anon.

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