• Member Since 14th Oct, 2018
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

OPTIMUSPRIMEG1


Comments ( 72 )

This is a good story so far, I think you could write a little more however. even if it means waiting longer for updates

Always aim for 2000 - 3000 words a chapter. Think of each chapter like its a single day or multiple events.

Always happy to see more MHA stuff here. :>

So not gonna have the bad guy finish the sentence?

9985020

"Indeed, and once we do," the first voice began to chuckle, then turned into full blown laughter, the second voice joining in.

Once they do get his power, what? Villains usually finish that sentence before the evil laughter.

9985025
Thats for the readers to try and guess, think about it, an couple of unknown villains wants the power of One For All, for what reason? Who are they? Are they from Equestria or from the world of My Hero Academia?

Regarding that last question, my answer is "yes". Or for all we know they're basically an expy for MHA villains. I know I'm doing a lot of those... But it's quite clear what they'd want. They'd wanna take over Equestria and/or kill the Sisters (and maybe the Mane 6). I mean what else would villains use a power like One For All for?

Too many commas out of place-

9985030
And it's those types of questions that readers need answering, like movie makers who make movies with cliffhangers, it just leaves the audience wanting answers, making them want watch, or in this case read more,

9985030
Get the picture? If not, totally understand, not very good explaing mystery, if you were to notice in any of my stories, not one has any mystery in it,

9985036
Meh. I personally don't see the point when it's so obvious. Also, small piece of advice, have thoughts be in italics. Much easier to tell they're thoughts then instead of only using apostrophes.

This is good I want to see more

Haha I got a my hero ad as I was reading this XD

Dude I would love to have more of this and story's that are like this with all might

Poor fred

And this just slumped into losing my interest.

Hate it now.

Well. Thats an awkward thing to bye before leaving Earth

What inspired you to make this fanfic?

To Tell the truth I thought you would be using heathy almight oh please let there be a way for you to make almight in his prime

10031706
But there is little information on how strong all might was before the accident, when he said it usually takes three blows to take out a villain, that's all the info we've gotten on how strong he was,

10031711
some people did calculations on it based on some of the things he said, and came to the conclusion that he was 60 times more powerful in his prime than he is during the events of the show

Didn't you listen to a thing I said?

I don’t wanna be that guy, but these are Equestrians, since when do they ever listen in the beginning of a situation?

This was a cool start, my why didn't he by my hero staff?

This was a awesome first meeting of this to.

I hope there's a way to heal Fred.

That was mast up I hope he finds some real friends.

Before I read this, mind telling me the inspiration of this fanfic?

Just a quick question do you have your research about All Might or his real name?

Alright,the story no longer seems ridiculous now that you explained why they went so out of character.:derpytongue2:

How’d they find him so quickly?

10236408
they didn't, they were still looking for him when he decided to surprise them

10237107
You should make somebody from the human world go to that world as all for one accept him being evil he's neutral.

This was a awesomely chill chapter I hope Fred and maybe more Pokémon'.

Good job I thought the story was dead until you start updating it also :fluttershyouch:

This was a epic chapter he should also get a ton of Master Ball's. Oh and place let there Bea way to reform Queen Chrysalis but let her keep her snark personality.

Deltorix growls and hits a wall. "God fucking damn it..." He looks at me then says. "All Might I'm going suggest something not so heroic here."

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath then says. "When we find the sirens use their magic against the dogs they can make them fight each other."

this has been doubled in the story

Shame he didn't include "Go beyond, plus ultra" in the token message. Good chapter though. Wonder if All Might could use One for All to increase the power of his magic arrows.

Shame he can’t duplicate himself, that would make writing so much faster and easier for him.

This was awesome I'm officially hooked/hyped to see where this goes next. I'm happy Sweetie has the first Quick other then Fred.

This is going to take a lot of hard work for him ,I hope he can get stronger and for more help.

I don't like the way the villains are getting their army, it makes me feel disturbed & not in the good way.

If this turns into a "Fall of Equestria story" then I am going to lose all of my s***. I would post a meme but I can't and that sucks and I'm sad but still don't do it author I will come and hunt you down don't make All Might a Fall of Equestria story it's just don't y'all I'm going to get triggered

Login or register to comment