• Member Since 10th Jul, 2011
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Flashgen


Struggling to edit and write, and starting to read.

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The latest Gala's theme is decided, and with it a friendly wager. Amidst the Masquerade, Twilight tries to seek out her friends while remaining hidden. Her deductive skills are a match for anypony, except for Rarity, perhaps.


Take a look into the Kaleidoscope.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 14 )
Comment posted by Flashgen deleted Dec 1st, 2019

Hrm. A few 'lightning bugs', but all in all, a fun little confection.

And it's hard to go wrong with Rarilight.

Why are there suddenly so many stories with this title?

9968005

It was part of a story writing contest, using the same title, cover art and short description, but writing different stories. We each came up with our own stories we wanted to tell based on the cover image.

*my brain begins to derp* :derpyderp2:

I'm a man of my word, so: ADD SOME TONGUE!

But in all seriousness, this was adorable and I loved it. I think it could do with a little more detail after Rarity outs Twilight, and the kiss at the end could use another line or two to make it more satisfying, but obviously you're constrained by the word limit. All in all, the spiciness of not being sure it's Rarity adds a nice layer to some nice shipping, and it's done well.

Right, I already gave my thoughts back in the Gdoc, so there's that, but also, ADD SOME TONGUE! :rainbowlaugh:

I loved this story. A magical masquerade combined with sleuthing is such an ingenious idea, and so wonderfully executed, that this story entranced me from the beginning. I was a little curious how AJ, RD, and Pinkie tried to disguise themselves, but ultimately I’m glad the story focused on Rarity and Twilight. Their dialogue is flirty and clever, but very believable for them, especially as Rarity starts allowing her deception to slip. Twilight then going into iocane poison style logic was adorable.

One plot point confused me, though. Why wasn’t Twilight sure whom she was talking to? Between her analysis of Twilight’s dress and the “darling,” Rarity seemed to be more or less giving Twilight everything she needed. For a while I thought Twilight was trying to find excuses to keep talking to Rarity, but by the end it seemed like she really couldn’t figure it out and had to guess.

But that didn’t distract me. I really did get wrapped up in this story, from its concept to its sweet ending. Great job!

9974007
Personally, I assumed the implication was that, with how well Rarity and Fluttershy know each other, Twilight was afraid that the latter could play the role well enough? At least that's my best guess

I mentioned that I was looking forward to this one the most, and I certainly got what I hoped for. A very nice setting of the scene, and a very strong grasp for the characters and the little details that really hooked me at the beginning of the story.

There was a nice amount of tension. You made it very easy to perceive how the interaction looked from both Rarity and Twilight's point of view, how both characters had to try and reveal the other without exposing themselves. And watching both poke and prod while at the same time letting parts of themselves slip was also entertaining. Although, Occam's Razor, Twilight! smh :P

Not much to critique on this. If I had to pick a couple things, I'd probably agree with Jay Bear that Rarity was a little obvious to me, as was apparent to Twilight. Although I think perhaps Rarity did that on purpose, to test Twilight? The other thing that could've been expanded was Twilight's inner struggle to call out Rarity, although it's totally understandable why it was a little shorter due to the word limit.

Overall, nicely done. Top contender.

I do NOT get the dislike ratio here at all hahaha. I really enjoyed this one. I had just enough doubt that Fluttershy knew Rarity well enough that Fluttershy pretending to be Rarity could have been the punchline. Though, more importantly, I think it was more about Twilight's confidence/boldness or lack thereof, since it seems so obviously Rarity.

Huge fan of Raritwi, too. Def my favorite mane6 ship. Great work!

10178618

The dislikes are a consequence of the contest it was for: posting stories with the same cover art/short description at the same time. Glad you enjoyed the story though.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Oh damn, and here I was afraid this wouldn't end with shipping. :D

considering some of the acts and performances fluttershy has put on in recent seasons, i bet she wasn't guessed by anyone even without discord's help, heh....

either way, a wonderful story and entry. i love stories and games guessing identities like this

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