• Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Seer


No.

T

I have never once closed my eyes and not reopened them again at some later time.
My only constant is that I always come back to a beach, and speak to a pony I do not understand.
I really hope I get to leave soon.


Take a look into the Kaleidoscope.

Part of the Kaleidoscope writing challenge for the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting group. The challenge was to write a story based around the same title, prompt and cover.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 13 )

Hrm. Evocative. I'm not usually a fan of suicide-themed stories, but the Groundhog Day aspect filtered through a poetic sensibility is interesting.

9967944
Thanks for the comment mate! :twilightsmile:

It's interesting and beautiful, and for the life of me I can't tell whether I like it, hate it, or somewhere in-between. Have a like for now, I'll have to ponder on it more.

9968772
Haha thanks my man, hope you work it out soon :raritywink:

Beautiful writing that evokes a dreamlike sense while still conveying a strong emotion. Yeah, I don’t have any useful critiques.

This was an interesting interpretation. I... I'm not quite certain how I feel about it, and not because of one particular tag or aspect. I just... feel something, but it's a bit confusing.
Well done.

Beautiful work, as usual. Your stories are always fantastic.

Despite that, I don't know how I feel about this one. It does very well at evoking emotion, but it doesn't explain much. Intentionally, I assume. It's clear it's all about cycles upon cycles, and it's very poetic, but it doesn't offer up the deeper meaning I'd want it to.

I also felt like some of the prompt items were tossed in haphazardly, like they were there just for the sake of ticking a checkbox, and not because they made the story stronger. But it's still an excellent piece, and definitely in my top three (so far).

Beautiful imagery and very emotional. I'm left feeling, at first, that it's an analogy for the fandom, characters living countless lives and being either aware of it or not. In that way it's a powerful look at the toll that would have on someone.

Your stories at their best have a sort of dreamy driftiness to them, and this captures that well.

Really liked Chapter 1. Concise and definitive, good hook. This chapter does a good job of providing us with just enough information to ground ourselves, but keep questioning. Will add some more thoughts as I read: nothing decisive yet.

Just a couple small minor things, and please correct me if I'm wrong:

"All your life?" He says

"He" should be lowercase

and though he tries to disguise it I can hear his scepticism, "But when did it start?"

I think "But" should be lowercase? That's what the rules I've read online say, anyways.

Oops, finally got around to finishing this haha

Very interesting. I think towards the middle, it faltered a bit and I got a little lost, but it wrapped things up with a nice conclusion.

As usual for your stories, the writing and plot itself is clean, so I guess I'm left pondering the ideas imparted. Stepping back, this presents itself as a creative but morbid take on the Groundhog Day premise. I'm left thinking things ended a little too cleanly, to be honest. Usually when I judge a story, I look for what makes it unique, what sets it apart from the others. This story certainly accomplished that in terms of execution -- the surreal setting and experimental writing paid off big time. As for the ideas themselves, though, I'm left wanting a little more that hasn't been explored in previous stories. But do take that with a grain of salt -- I know you put a lot of time into crafting the ideas themselves and I'd love to hear what you had in mind for this story.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Whoa

That was amazing! :O

Goddamn this is beautiful. Despite the dreamlike veneer, the thick veil of unreality that accompanies Rarity, this story is very very real. It's impossible not to feel trapped, to stop yourself from winding up on that same beach every so often wondering if there was something you could have done differently. It's like. It's coming back to those same cyclical patterns, those same vicious spirals that have haunted you your entire life. Someday they become almost comforting, a hazy blur that stitches through your every waking moment, but for now they just hurt and frustrate and try to drag you down into the water with them.

Absolutely fantastic work. Can't wait to reread this in a month.

There are a whole bunch of kaleidoscope stories in the suggestions but why with so many downvotes?

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