Nitpicking your math errors is how I show I care.
When a pair of archaeologists uncover a strange artifact from the Well of Shade, they ask Twilight to come take a look. Then one of them goes missing, and Twilight must discover what’s happening before it’s too late.
Take a look into the Kaleidoscope.
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Right, I already gave my general thoughts before, so let's be a bit more specific now
What I meant about the conversations/interactions being a bit rough, is that they seem too abrupt
“Oh! My apologies. My name is Silver Wings—I’m the professors’ assistant. Please, come in. Can I get your bags?”
Like this for example. It feels like there should be some more interaction, or at least action descriptions, in there? Now that I reread it, I would have to guess the story fell victim to the word length constraint? I really would've liked to see an extended version of this, but alas.
Okay, I am so confused. What is with all of these Kaleidoscope stories that I'm seeing with the exact same synopsis. Anyone?
This story explores a lot of neat ideas between the batpony town, Twilight switching between Princess and nerd modes, and the Old Ponish anomalies. That said, there’s not much room to explore them, and it felt like the story rushed a bit. Like AleaJactaEst said, that’s probably a result of the word limit. In the end, though, it was still a fun adventure piece. Thanks for sharing!
This was a well handled mystery, Twilight's characterisation was a highlight, and her discomfort at characters snapping to attention was a nice touch
I do think the ending felt a little too abrupt, but then I certainly sympathise about the word count limit in this challenge as it stopped me from writing as much as I'd like too!
All in all though I liked it, and its more evidence for my insistence you should write more horror themed pieces
I totally forgot about suggesting Anneal lmao
Not bad! I liked the sense of tension being built up, as well as the general character and environment building. Nice work on that.
The wordcount was definitely the story's worst enemy. The characters needed a little more time to breathe by themselves and around each other, make the interactions more natural. Same with the ending, as has already been mentioned. Twilight figures out what's going on very quickly and solves the problem even faster, which represents a weird sort of deviation from the pacing of the first half of the story, I think. I know you had to rework a lot of stuff to fit the wordcount, so if I had to make one suggestion, it would have been to cut the scene with the sister to make breathing room for the climax.
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