• Member Since 23rd Aug, 2018
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semillon


PRONOUNCED: sem ee yawn || any character i ever write, ever, is 18+ unless explicitly stated otherwise

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One week after Flurry Heart is crowned the Ruler of the Crystal Empire, she runs into Cozy Glow.

For FanofMostEverything's second Imposing Sovereigns contest.


Special thanks for Miller Minus for his feedback and editing!

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 42 )

I feel like Cozy and Flurry needed a LITTLE more time to form a bond before they were interrupted, but overall, pretty good start.

This was pretty good. Funny how it's the only redemtion story with Flurry doing the redemption. I only wish there was more of them as kids growing up, but it was still pretty great. I particularely like how you wrote Cozy, still manipulative, but not evil anymore and Flurry was pretty good as well.

Will you write a sequel or prequel? This has plenty of material for both.

That was weird.
Not in content, but in structure. That time-skip changed so much that it seemed like two fics stuck together. The whiplash effect it caused, really confused me. So you were lucky it was a good story.
7/10 - To much frozen water.

I have to agree that the huge time skip threw me for a loop. I feel like there should have been more chapters to cover it. But that being said, the meat of the story was great. I fully approve.

Also I adored Flurry stating matter-of-fairly that she has to cut off Cozy’s head back in chapter one. No maliciousness, it’s just what has to be done.

The moment you trust Cozy Glow, you lose. No matter who you are, what you are. She is as close to the Adversary as Equestria gets. She brings only ruin.

9936432
"She is as close to the Adversary as Equestria gets," says the person with the username "Opponent".

Trying to distract us from something, Satan? :trollestia:

Interesting. Cute. Jarring. I approve :p

This is my new favorite ship. Embrax gtfo, cozyheart is the new best ship!

man, this is a confusing jumble of emotions.

Need more CozyHeart shipping. The whole thing was so cute. It would have been nice to see the stuff from the time skip, but this was for a contest. So I guess you did not have that much time. Maybe add to it after the contest.

Liked the idea, and it even could be developed in different ways

Geez Twilight, the least you could do is let her have another burger.

This story is probably one of the most ridiculously cheesy things I've ever read in my entire life, and I loved every second of it. It was both adorable and riveting, having me firmly at the edge of my seat wondering what would happen next. The timeskips were a bit jarring, but not so bad that they completely broke immersion.
My only real complaint is that this wasn't a one million word epic.

9935550
How could a bond be deeper than going from decapitation, to eating burgers together whilst talking smack about each other.

I daresay if that doesn't make you friends, then friendship is inherently flawed. :moustache:

And then they DIED, the End.

Eh, I didn't buy it.

OOOOOF! That hit right in the feels there. :pinkiesad2::raritycry::fluttercry::fluttershbad:

Owwwww my heart just got dick kicked.

i would love a sequel that shows their adventures in this new world that is also a bit longer.

terrible pacing, I had to go cut onions in the kitchen like three times

Unusual indeed but I really enjoyed reading it. Flurry Heart shouting off at father was an awesome moment.

The word limit was not kind to this story. You had to give us the ends of a much bigger story, and the added plot threads didn't help. You did the best you could, especially with the word-conserving reminiscence, but you still had to sell a serious take on what reads like a crackship at first blush.

That's not to say the story is bad! By no means do I mean to imply that. The conflict is heartfelt, the opening is hilarious, the emotions resonate throughout, it's all fantastic. It's just that you had to leave half of it untold.

What's there is great work. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.

Woof. I'm not quite sure what I just read, but it was certainly interesting and heartfelt.

Now why would the alicorn of love abandon her husband and daughter? Wouldn't that be that complete antithesis of her charge?

I’m not certain why and I seem to be in a minority, but I actually relished the pacing of this. The chapter 1-2 timeskip actually put a big goofy grin on my face; chapter 1 was adorable and gave me exactly enough to buy into Cozy and Flurry’s friendship, and we got to move into the main plot without a second wasted. What ensued from there was chaotic and aesthetic, setting up a million places and ideas that don’t get narrative payoff but all cling tightly to the emotional throughline. The world of this story was so much bigger than the story itself, and that’s perfect — we’re just following one little, desperate love in the middle of a big world.

I don’t know. I see plenty of things that, if I were writing a paper in lit class, I could complain about. But I’m also happy with them.

I’m going to agree with what others have said: this felt like at least two different stories being mashed together to make one. There’s the Cozy Flurry romance and all that, and then Flurry and her family issues, and while on paper I can see how they connect, they didn’t feel good together. I think having Cadance abdicate during the timeskip was a bold decision, but I don’t think it worked—if she’d done that at the start of the story, I could buy it, but throwing it into the middle like that, with so little setup, in a story that had so far been very much about Flurry and Cozy, did not land so well for me.

The opening chapter, before the timeskip, though, that was really solid. I had a minor quibble in that I wasn’t sold Flurry thought Cozy could be reformed, but I think that can fit Flurry’s character, so not the biggest deal. And going onwards, the Cozy and Flurry scenes were definite highlights.

So overall, slightly mixed feelings here, but this is something I’d love to see expanded after the contest. Thanks for writing!

9938865
How do you manage to make that argument make sense on a fiction of a show about friendship

This felt a bit disjointed-surreal at times, but since it enhanced it for me that was just fine.

I would really like to see another, expanded version of this one day. It's quite good right now, but FoME said it well: the word limit was not kind.

Looks very promising with two characters who aren't normally seen interacting. The lack of time Flurry went from wanting to kill Cozy to calling her friend is the weakest part of the story. That Twilight would be the one to cave is a smart move though and the condition of having Flurry take responsibility.

Cozy Glow deserved better. She could be redeemed. Flurry could see it, and she had finally made Twilight see.

That's great, but why did you pick the one that was Satan?

Cadance's reasons are... incredibly convenient and I still maintain Cozy isn't as interesting when she's not being evil, but yeah. This was solid.

I'll need to come back and comment further once I've thoroughly digested and reflected on the story, but my goodness this was good for the heart and soul!

I like it!:twilightsmile:

Also, where´d ya found that artwork?

10234785
:heart:
You should be able to find it by hovering over the cover and clicking 'Source'

9949272
You gotta love yourself before you love others

Oho my favourite ship! Definitely going to finish reading this later.

10452791
OMG! You ship this too?! I'm your biggest fan !

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