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Admiral Biscuit


"This was quite well written, and the characters had a very natural feeling back and forth. Shame I didn't like it at all."

T
Source

Not too far from the Castle is a small statue garden, filled with villains whose friendship problem was unsolvable, even for Twilight.

The least of these is Cozy Glow.

Twilight finally decides to show mercy and to make one more attempt at reformation; however, knowing that the problem is beyond her, she entrusts it to a younger princess.


Speed-written for TheLegendaryBillCipher in the Quills and Sofas Christmas Fic Exchange

Now with a reading by StraightToThePointStudio!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 127 )

Also in the process of writing, I found this:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/9/2/2134492.png
Source
Interestingly, in the edited version (posted above; link goes to the original), the description said ‘In 100 years, Princess Twilight sends Flurry Heart to reform Cozy Glow.’

So I take it Flurry is so bitter in this story because she just found out where she got her name? Also, why was she sneaking out after curfew?

9996112

So I take it Flurry is so bitter in this story because she just found out where she got her name?

Heh, no, I was thinking just ‘cause she’s a teenage alicorn who’s been told to do something she doesn’t really want to do.

Also, why was she sneaking out after curfew?

To get a look at the statue.

... and I’ll see if I have better luck with Lily Longsocks.

Wait, what did she do? :twilightoops:

The tough love approach definitely seems promising with Cozy, along with socially isolating her at first so she can't just charm her way into a position of power. It's cruel, but sometimes that sort of cruelty is necessary in the early stages. A fine job with a difficult prompt. Thank you for it.

Not bad, but a bit abrupt in a number of places. Cozy doesn’t really get a chance to feel like Cozy or do much Cozy stuff, and the reformation feels...unearned, I guess? But that’s just the nature of a speed-write. I think this could actually serve as a great template for a longer story.

9996116

I fail to see any reason Cozy should have reformed. Flurry´s teaching was limited to "follow my rules or get punished" like any other prison warden. Nobody else made her undestand friendship or why her behaviour was wrong. At best Cozy´s spirit should have been broken and became apathetic, unwilling to either try to become a villain again or accomplish anything else.

Nicely done ! You really captured how to teach two timeless lessons:

You can't bully or buy loyalty.

Actions have consequences, good and bad.

I'm glad you put Flurry Heart as her teacher.

Comment posted by Dreadknight garen deleted Dec 20th, 2019

Flurry Heart doesn't mess around which Cozy Glow nearly found out the hard way. I must say that I enjoyed reading this though I feel as though it could've gone on further. What you wrote is still plenty but it made me think of what could be next.

9996125

Wait, what did she do? :twilightoops:

derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/11/9/1019443.png
YEET

The tough love approach definitely seems promising with Cozy, along with socially isolating her at first so she can't just charm her way into a position of power. It's cruel, but sometimes that sort of cruelty is necessary in the early stages.

In some ways, it’s not dissimilar to what we sometimes do with developmentally disabled adults. Elements were certainly inspired by treatment regimens (obviously, not dangerous stuff, but things like room searches and one-on-one supervision).

A fine job with a difficult prompt. Thank you for it.

:heart:

9996139

Not bad, but a bit abrupt in a number of places. Cozy doesn’t really get a chance to feel like Cozy or do much Cozy stuff, and the reformation feels...unearned, I guess? But that’s just the nature of a speed-write.

I can’t disagree . . . that is the difficulty of getting a prompt, coming up with an idea and making it into at least a workable story in a couple of hours. I suppose I could have expanded it before publishing, but I find it feels more authentic to publish as written, y’know?

I think this could actually serve as a great template for a longer story.

Yes, it absolutely could. If I didn’t have a zillion other projects I’m working on . . .

9996140

I fail to see any reason Cozy should have reformed. Flurry´s teaching was limited to "follow my rules or get punished" like any other prison warden.

Well, that’s often a good start. That’s something that is easily understood, and not only does it work on prisoners, it also works (to an extent) on children and equines. It’s not the whole treatment, of course, and I can tell you from working with developmentally disabled adults, progress can be quite slow, and there are setbacks, but if the goal is reformation, it can work.

Nobody else made her understand friendship or why her behaviour was wrong. At best Cozy´s spirit should have been broken and became apathetic, unwilling to either try to become a villain again or accomplish anything else.

If that was all Flurry did, it wouldn’t reform her. What’s key is once boundaries are set, give freedoms. Follow the rules, and the guards won’t be watching you all the time. Keep following the rules, and they’ll leave. Be a good filly and you’ll get Hearth’s Warming presents. You’ll be allowed to go to school with other ponies. You’ll be allowed to go on a field trip to Canterlot with only the usual chaperones.

I won’t disagree that there could have been a lot more detail in the story, and it could have filled in on a lot more details of freedoms given. I was inspired, in part, by one of the developmentally disabled adults I used to work with who originally had one-on-one supervision (i.e., somebody had to have eyes on him unless he was in the bathroom alone, or in his bedroom alone with the door closed), then, by following the rules, was allowed to remain at home by himself for a few hours, then could go out in town by himself alone for two hours, then four, and then he was allowed to get his own apartment with staff occasionally stopping by to help him out with shopping, bills, etc. In his case, it took years--as it normally does. Given the length of time I had to write the story, I had to gloss over a lot of that process. As 9996139 said, it could serve as a good template for a longer story, and perhaps one day I’ll revisit it and cover all that stuff I simply couldn’t because of time constraints.

9996152

Nicely done ! You really captured how to teach two timeless lessons:

You can't bully or buy loyalty.
Actions have consequences, good and bad.

Thank you! :heart: Those are both valuable lessons, and some people have trouble learning them.

I'm glad you put Flurry Heart as her teacher.

It was kind of surprising to me when I thought of it, but it seems like a natural choice.

9996170
That’s fair. Any particular reason?

9996194

Flurry Heart doesn't mess around which Cozy Glow nearly found out the hard way.

Yes, which is why I think she’d be a good pony to be in charge of Cozy’s reformation.

I must say that I enjoyed reading this though I feel as though it could've gone on further. What you wrote is still plenty but it made me think of what could be next.

Thank you!

It certainly could have gone on further, and perhaps should. In some ways, I condensed down about a decade’s worth of work down into under 2k words . . . but there was a two hour limit for writing the story from receiving the prompt, so there was only so much I could do. :derpytongue2:

Who knows, in the future I might decide to expand it out.

9996198

Yes, it absolutely could. If I didn’t have a zillion other projects I’m working on . . .

God in Heaven do I know that feel. :twilightsmile:

my god! they need a death penalty rather than this torture.

I’ve never seen the Cozy Glow episode, but I’ve read a couple of good and some brutal fanfics takes on it. I like reformation stories, especially at this time of year. I think you handled it well. Tough love. She’s young enough that it should be easier than for the older villains. I’d like to see how you’d handle Chrysalis’s, as a companion piece to this one, perhaps. I know lots on your plate and I haven’t commented on your scratched cart yet either. I will though.

9996210
i feel like from what we've seen of cozy glow, doing things like punishing her for what she did wouldnt make her see the error of her ways like a regular pony, it would probably just send her in the opposite direction, mental problems dont just dissapear

I liked seeing Flurry's effectiveness in using a different approach than a 'friendship lesson' or more simply, friendship by example. I don't think the Twilight we know at this moment could have done it using that method, without changing herself in the process.

I also know that my opinion isn't exactly popular, but I feel pretty strongly that the writers did the wrong thing in making a child an unredeemed (or unredeemable) villain in a show directed towards children. But I won't beat a dead... Ur, never mind. Said enough. :facehoof:

9996210 Drive-by horseapple flinging doesn't quite fit the definition of fair. You're just nice. :twilightsmile:

I get that there was a time limit on writing on this story but man I felt that Flurry Heart was stone cold here. I would love to see you on one day expanded this idea.

Hey there got to read your story. I found it very interesting amazing.

9996225

my god! they need a death penalty rather than this torture.

Hard to redeem somepony after administering the death penalty. Well, maybe not in Equestria, but still. . . .

9996233

I’ve never seen the Cozy Glow episode, but I’ve read a couple of good and some brutal fanfics takes on it.

I haven’t, either (in fact, it took a while of seeing Cozy art to figure out that she was a villain). Although I did see the final episodes, and she was in ‘em. Got stoned, in fact. And there was this scene, too:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/10/16/2170259.png

I like reformation stories, especially at this time of year. I think you handled it well. Tough love. She’s young enough that it should be easier than for the older villains.

Thanks! Tough love is what you gotta do sometimes. And you’re right, this is a good time of year to think about rebirth.

I’d like to see how you’d handle Chrysalis’s, as a companion piece to this one, perhaps. I know lots on your plate

Ooh, I don’t know about that one. Honestly, the best thing the ponies could do with her is kill her . . . not a popular opinion, I know, but now that they’ve at least made friends with some of the changelings, she’s more of a liability than anything else.

I haven’t commented on your scratched cart yet either. I will though.

Or you can wait until I post a picture of my cart with the sticker, that’s okay too. :heart:

9996240

i feel like from what we've seen of cozy glow, doing things like punishing her for what she did wouldnt make her see the error of her ways like a regular pony, it would probably just send her in the opposite direction, mental problems dont just dissapear

Can confirm; I work part-time with developmentally disabled adults. As you can imagine, even more so than some other mental disorders, you can’t simply cure a developmental disability.

Having said that, there is a bit of her treatment which is loosely based on one of the gentlemen I worked with who had a quite successful outcome. Obviously, we didn’t actually threaten to kill him or turn him to stone, but we did provide a tough but fair environment he was capable of thriving in, and over the years he’s gone from a person who required 24/7 one-on-one supervision to a person who lives in his own apartment with staff only occasionally stopping by to help with bills, shopping, etc. He earned that by following the rules and his treatment plan.

It’s been my experience that there is no one size fits all approach to developmental disabilities, and I would imagine the same holds true for mental illness (which I think it would be fair to class Cozy’s megalomania as). Some respond well to tough love, while others do far better with gentle teaching. I think that Cozy is more of a tough love pony, which is why I think that Twilight wouldn’t be the best teacher for her.

9996277

I liked seeing Flurry's effectiveness in using a different approach than a 'friendship lesson' or more simply, friendship by example. I don't think the Twilight we know at this moment could have done it using that method, without changing herself in the process.

I don’t think Twilight could, either.

I also know that my opinion isn't exactly popular, but I feel pretty strongly that the writers did the wrong thing in making a child an unredeemed (or unredeemable) villain in a show directed towards children. But I won't beat a dead... Ur, never mind. Said enough. :facehoof:

We of course don’t know what they’ve got planned for Gen 5, but I do agree that in Cozy’s case, it’s a bit of a downer to end things on. Of course we both know that some villains are unredeemable, but we’d like to think that children are always the exception to that. Just the same, there’s enough evidence in the show that they sometimes thaw their prior stoned failures, so maybe Cozy does have another shot at redemption.

Drive-by horseapple flinging doesn't quite fit the definition of fair. You're just nice. :twilightsmile:

images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/740e745b-9a46-45e6-b5c6-603a24a22287/d5w4v58-e465fa2d-b13e-42d4-9c0d-a603e6aef42e.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzc0MGU3NDViLTlhNDYtNDVlNi1iNWM2LTYwM2EyNGEyMjI4N1wvZDV3NHY1OC1lNDY1ZmEyZC1iMTNlLTQyZDQtOWMwZC1hNjAzZTZhZWY0MmUuanBnIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.9QYR7Su9NF-A38HjM3oUVb4QO8_UtnI5uM-v9LtxH7A

9996283

I get that there was a time limit on writing on this story but man I felt that Flurry Heart was stone cold here.

From what I know of her character, she could be.

I would love to see you on one day expanded this idea.

Heh, you’re not the only one. I’m not opposed, but heaven knows I haven’t got the time right meow. . . .

9996288

I connect a bit more with this story than I’m willing to admit.

:heart:

Needlessly to say it took me a while to figure out that endlessly ramming alts into discord servers isn’t going to change anything and I was just wasting my time.

To quote one of my favorite equine psychologists, “Make the right answer easy and the wrong answer hard.” If you keep putting a lot of effort into doing things the hard way, sooner or later you’re gonna wonder if there might be an easier way. :heart:

9996346

I haven’t got the time right meow. . . .

:rainbowlaugh:

I know you meant now, but I am busting my gut out laughing because it reminds me of one of joke from Whose Line Is It Anyway? Where that was a gag during one show and one of the performers brought the house down when they said it.

9996328

Honestly, the best thing the ponies could do with her is kill her

Well I'm definitely going to have to disagree with that. Chrysalis, moreso than Tirek or Cozy Glow, has actual ties to the "real" world and reasons for acting the way she does, or at least more ties and reasons that we're aware of, including a valid reason (from her perspective) for seeing friendship as a disease to be opposed. It's just that she has a massive ego, and that the only pony to ever put in even a modicum of effort into reaching out to her, Starlight, did so at absolutely the worst possible time (a moment of extreme weakness when Chrysalis is a creature that can't stand being seen as weak) and in the worst possible way (by offering to give back everything that she had just stolen from Chrysalis if only Chrysalis would acquiesce to Starlight's demands).

Reaching Chrysalis has to begin with acknowledging that she has lost things, things that were important to her, and not brushing aside her feelings on that matter as being invalid or wrong.

Maybe I'm beeing naive here, but at least for cozy glow this seems more like a origin story than a redeem fic. In the show she allready was obsessed with the 'aestethics' of beeing a good person, without actually having internalized what this means - you know, like someone that had been forced into that role out of fear of punishment.

But then again that might just be my personal bias, as someone who never really was fazed by any punishment, when it wasn't a emotional one (e.g. the famous 'I'm not mad just disapointed speech').

Fun story! When I was young, verra young, like two or three, I was a massive pain in the arse. As all small children are. The kind of little brat that you'd dearly wish to drop off of a bridge. Trust me on this, no misunderstanding here, no deprivation or any kind of psychological whatsit, I was just being a little %$@#@.

Anyway, one time I decided to haul off and kick my mom in the shin just as hard as my three year old self could. Which honestly wasn't all that hard, but the intent was definitely there. So, my mom kicked me back, just as hard. Or just as softly as the case may be, more of an enthusiastic nudge really.

So I stared up at her with all of the confused heartbreak a small child is capable of, because I was supposed to get my way without consequences, right? And me mum says "well you kicked me, so I get to kick you back, that's fair right?" And from that day forward I realized, "Oh, it's like that thing with the stove, stupid games win stupid prizes."

Actions have consequences, yes? The earlier you learn the better your life will be.

I love this ruthless but fair Flurry Heart.

Somehow, I stop feeling that Cozy is depressed. From what I saw, Flurry basically used the water spray technique to 'train' Cozy.

Good story, though.

Actions have Consequences Admiral Biscuit

If that’s true, then where’s the consequences of Harmony and Friendship? And I don’t believe that anything good has no consequences.

The consequences are maximum.

I respect your writing ability, and I'm a sucker for #RedeemCozyGlow stories, but this story feels rushed.

9996598
That is a very interesting question.

FTL

9996646
Well, considering it was the result of a random prompt in a speed writing challenge then that would be correct.

FTL

9996598
We often think of consequences as being a predominantly negative concept but that is not always so.

Positive actions will tend to have positive consequences. Friendship, support, companionship, compassion, community, help, kindness, inclusiveness, respect... these are just some of the consequences.

9996678
I don’t believe it. Nothing is forever good, it must have bad or living life itself is meaningless if it’s endless happiness. I mean if you lived in a forever peace and nothing changes and everything is always ends the same, wouldn’t you realized everything you learn is worthless?

9996195
Yeeting a boulder into the royal showers definitely seems unacceptable.

Her last thought before being stoned was that she was never going to make that mistake again.

Yea, I've been there:rainbowlaugh:

Dan

Snuck. "Sneaked" is not a word and anyone who says it is is a fool. Including Firefox spellcheck.

9996877
Actually, fun fact, “sneaked” is the original correct past tense of “sneak”. “Snuck” is a relatively modern word that began to crop up in the late 1800s. So “sneaked” is archaic (although it’s also preferred by a lot of British grammarians), but that’s not quite the same thing as incorrect. And it most definitely is a word, much as “wherefore” is a word even if you’ll be hard-pressed to find someone who uses it instead of “why”.

Source

/pedant

9996682
I believe what your referring to is an existential crisis. And damn that's a negative view point, not all consequences are observable, arguably Nightmare Moon is exactly what your looking for, or the changeling invasion and Ignorance would also fit the bill.

Sometimes you and those around you can't see and never will see the negative consequence of our own actions, Equestria likely wont see the bad caused by their harmony as the bad is farther away and not directly impacting them.

kinda feel a reformed cozy would be determined to free and redeem tirek ann chrysalis instead of leaving them as statues but other than that great story

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