Honey Burned

Button Mash and Snips climb to ALL heights to try and save Snails' relationship with his new marefriend, Honey Bun.

No surprise, hijinks inevitably ensue.

"Though burned, it lives up to being sweet as honey. ❤
~Mew Mew

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 6 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 6
- Newest First
- Oldest First

TheHardie-Boy

TheHardie-Boy #1 · Nov 1st, 2019 · 2 · ·

I’ll be honest, I was hesitant to read this, but I’m glad I did

"Okay." Button ponders. "YOU OWE ME AN ICE CUBE, YOU-"
DONG!!!
"Hey, that is relieving."

That just killed me

Quinch

Quinch #2 · Nov 10th, 2019 · 1 · ·

Ain't gonna lie, that was some quality hijinxing.

My Little Epona

My Little Epona #3 · Dec 6th, 2019 · 1 · ·

Crying with laughter right now.

EverfreePony

EverfreePony #4 · Dec 31st, 2019 · 1 · ·

It’s not everyday one finds a story built on just a witty back-and-forth. And it’s definitely not everyday when one finds such a story that actually works. Seems like today’s the day when such a miracle happens. Haven’t read such a good comedy in a while. Thank you for that!

PS: Just a few nitpicks on grammar. Watch out for inconsistencies in shifting tenses, such as in this spot:

With a low snort, Snails stands up and stares daggers at the two lovers. "I see you, Honey!" Snails hollered.

Choose either past or present tense and use just that one thorough the whole story. Also noticed some recurring errors in punctuation, most notably in direct speech and use of ellipses and hyphens.

PPS: Can I use a PS even if I don’t sign my name?

23 KM To Nerdiness