Snails has a secret: a secret power only he can wield, a secret batch of knowledge only he can grasp, a whole secret world over which he rules as an absolute monarch.
Secret except, y'know, it's right there on his flanks. And I'm getting pretty sick and tired of it making that bean-brain act like a complete and total jackass!
No offense to any donkeys reading this...
An entry in Imposing Sovereigns IV, using the prompt Snails/Knowledge (Or Lack Thereof), this story received an Honorable Mention!
Chapters (1)
This was hilarious. If ever two characters were hard to humanise, it's these two. But you did it brilliantly, and it was funny and meaningful all at once. I only hope Snails gives the older snails to the griffins, and lets them enjoy a nice little snail life first.
11758816
Thanks!
I've been wondering in a desultory sort of fashion for at least a decade what Snails's cutie mark was all about. I'm glad this contest came along to make me actually try to do something with it.
Mike
Snails is the Forrest Gump of Equestria, isn't he?
"You can barbecue 'em, boil 'em, broil 'em, bake 'em, saute 'em. There's uh, snail-kabobs, snail creole, snail gumbo. Pan-friend, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple snails, lemon snails, coconut snails, pepper snails, snail soup, snail stew, snail salad, snail and potatoes, snail burger, snail sandwich. That- that's about it."
11758841
While researching this story:
I discovered that snail caviar is a thing.
Oh, the horrors of research...
Mike
This has to one of the more surreal stories I've read in some time, but it was still a lot of fun.
I love your story's interpretation of Snips and Snails! You've given them interesting personalities, an entertaining and very convincing first person narrator character voice, and quite a fun and often funny plot!
Recommended! 👍
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11759040
Thanks, folks!
These guys are a couple of fairly surreal characters, really, and I'm kinda surprised it's taken me this long to write something with them in it. And it still makes me shake my head every time I remember that the same actor who voiced Snails played Inuyasha in the English-dubbed version of that show all those decades ago. Talk about surreal!
Mike
11759566
And I suddenly find myself thinking about a reincarnation-type story--I've been reading a rather unwholesome amount of manwha lately, where it's a common trope--about Inuyasha finding himself as Snails. Except, Snails is still in control of the body, and Inuyasha is stuck desperately trying to get him to be less him.
11759712
I keep seeing:
The image of Kagome first seeing Inuyasha from the first episode, but it's Snails pinned to the tree there instead...
Mike
D'awww, this was profoundly sweet. Glad to see somepony give these two doofs a happy story.
Have a hooves-up & a mustache
Edit: PS it was the 'Floyd ref that got my attention
11759896
Thanks!
Truly, though, I didn't know Pink Floyd had used "Piper at the Gates of Dawn" as an album title till I went to Google while writing the story. I wanted to find an online version of The Wind in the Willows so I could check the chapter that bears that title and see if there was anything in it I could use for the story. Other than the semi-bucolic setting, though, there was nothing...
Mike
Delightful work throughout, capturing the rise, fall, rise, fall again, and rise of le roi des escargot. Thank you for an engaging and most unexpected entry that feels both true to the characters and wonderfully novel. Best of luck in the judging.
11761671
Thanks!
I really wasn't sure I would get this finished in time to make it an official entry, but, well, I felt a certain obligation to keep my record intact of putting a story into the contest that doesn't exactly work in the category I've chosen...
Mike
Errr.
Yeah, this doesn't feel right. The King of Snails shouldn't let his subjects be eaten. Ah well.
11759896
I was going to say that regarding the Pink Floyd reference...
Of course, I am old enough to remember when their first album came out and had Syd Barret instead of Dave Gilmour.
(Heavy Sigh...) Those were the days, ya know.
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TBH, i had forgotten that Syd took the title of the album from The Wind in the Willows, so thanks for reminding me
11759853
Does that mean Snips put necklace on him and can shout, "Sit, boy!"
11761912
Yeah:
He's not a very good king is the thing...
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I'm pretty sure:
That'd work on Snails even without the necklace.
Mike
11761912
I mean, there's been historical precedents. Bokassa, for one.