• Member Since 16th Nov, 2012
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Brony-wan-kenobi


Comments ( 94 )

Awesome, great to see a new story from you.

“Think less of me?” repeated Wallflower to herself. “That would actually be an improvement.”

Ugh! Right in the feels!

This is an absolutely lovely start! I've said it before, but I can't help but hope for the best for Wallflower.

Great story so far. Cant wait for more

Is this story anthro? The cover art makes it look like it is.

Alright, cant wait to see what happens next. Loving the build up here.

After all, why should anything change in this nice little town? Everypony here had a job, had a purpose. The last crime that had occurred in Mareville had been about forty odd years ago done by some young colt who wanted an extra piece of candy at the store. The strong sense of community was something that they all held with pride. Sure they didn’t follow the trends and fashions of the rest of Equestria. Maybe their tiny hospital, more of a clinic really, didn’t have the latest gizmos. So what if their library was behind on times with all their books being hoof written? Everything here was pleasant as could be. To the ponies living here, the rest of Equestria should strive to be more like them! Then maybe there would be fewer gods of chaos, bug queens, and so on running across Equestria.

Dear GODS this place sounds boring :applejackconfused:

So it was little surprise to find that nearly all the ponies here were members of the Sol Invictus Church.

Do these guys by any chance view Celestia as the perfect image of purity and wholesomness ? :trixieshiftright:

Their parents would often forget to bring Wallflower along whenever they went out to eat or on family outings, to busy beaming with pride at Pearly’s mere existence. There wasn’t even a single picture of Wallflower in her parent’s home.

...these parents are horrible :fluttercry:

“In today’s sad world, we will need to be ever more vigilant,” continued the mare. “We need to safeguard the innocent who are not yet fully pledged members of the Sol Invictus. We need to root out those who dare to practice such vile acts so that Equestria may be purged. The wicked will have their influence removed so that we can live in true harmony! But to do this, we will need to expand our numbers so that it will be harder for the vile ones to hide. As such, many of you who volunteered at our last meeting will go out and join others dedicated to our cause all over Equestria.”

This is a cult, this is without a doubt a cult :trixieshiftleft:

Pearly White naturally got the loudest send off, with ponies shouting how she was sure to recruit the most while she was in the Crystal Empire.

Wow... Pearly sure has her work cut out for her dosen't she :trixieshiftright:

“Think less of me?” repeated Wallflower to herself. “That would actually be an improvement.”

Ouch :pinkiesad2:

But hey it could almost be worse... you could be Pearly trying to go up aginst Cadance on her home turf :moustache: :pinkiecrazy:

Pearly White’s had been the largest by a wide margain, complete with a marching band playing loudly as the mayor herself helped her onto the train.

There is gonna be a lot of ponies disappointed in her when she gets back, i just can't see her do well in the Crystal Empire, not with Cadance running the place :trollestia:

Wallflower felt her eyes widen at that. This pegasus, this mare was still speaking to her. Even feeling like she had made a fool of herself, this mare didn’t seem to mind. She was STILL SPEAKING WITH HER! Wallflower could feel something warm rising inside of her as a smile appeared on her face.

Wallflower felt like tears would begin to appear at any moment. She couldn’t remember the last time anypony was willing to be this kind to her before.

And this is why Wallflower will fail in her mission, but succeed at something far greater :twilightsmile:

Wallflower nodded eagerly, hoping that this was the start of one of her first real friendships. Who knew? Maybe she could make more friends here. Perhaps she could even convince them to join up with the Sol.

Yes on the first two, no on the last one :moustache:

9457572
Thank you. And if you haven't already please be sure to check out my other Clocktower stories

Oh Wallflower, you have NO idea what you just walked into, 10bits says she bursts into flames from embarrassment next chapter.

Great work can’t wait for the next chapter

“Well, we wouldn’t say that,” commented Hunter as he shook his head. “There are ponies out there from all across Equestria who will be coming here thinking they can have all the free sex they want. Mostly stallions. Some coming here to have an affair, thinking that it will be a no strings attached event without having to pay anything beyond their own travel expense. Then there are colts who go around fucking every mare they can.”

“Well then this is your big chance to change that!” said the mare as she reached into her saddle bag. A moment later she pulled out a red, heart shaped medallion and slipped it around Wallflower’s neck. “With that on, all the stallions and mares here will know you’re single. I’m sure by daybreak you’ll have had at least several ponies toppling over each other for the chance just to get to know you. Hopefully you don’t break too many hearts before the final day!”

:trixieshiftleft:IF Wallflower continues to be forgotten, I call Mind Magic B****** :trixieshiftright:

9469948
Maybe being ignored is her special talent.

She reminds me of the mom from Moral Oral. Never feeling like she has a place in the world, and inevitably latching onto the first person to make her feel needed.

This was nice. I liked the glimpse into marital life and the petty disagreements as everyone gets used to one another. I also liked the reworking of the holiday to be more than single's shaming day.
That said, I'd recommend getting an editor for this story. LOTS of typos. Some don't mind, but I view typos as speed bumps on an otherwise smooth and pleasant drive.

Churches like these are why I've lost a lot of faith in organized religion, since they seem to just be tools for overly controlling busybodies to force their will on others while maintaining their public image (and possibly hiding their own misdeeds).

Great story. Cant wait for more

This keeps getting better.

Is that Stallion calling himself stupid named Pinky and does he have a friend named Brain?

Poor Wallflower she just doesn't know how far she is in over head. I hope when she breaks down Lighting Dust and Hunter will be ready to help her out. I think the Sol is about to have a major breach and hopefully they never find out it was her.

Naughty Wallflower, time to rethink your life choices I think

Woo! Great chapter.~ :pinkiehappy:

-Ru

Wallflower felt her breath quicken as her brain synapses fire so quickly that they might overload at any moment. She had literally no idea how to respond to any of this! This…THIS HAD NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE! Two ponies fighting over a mare was just something that didn’t happen. Maybe in one of those trashy novels that were burned back home, but never in real life. Did it? And yet it was happening. Happening to her of all ponies. Why? Out of the corner of her eyes, she could now make out several other ponies looking in her direction. Many of the ones with hearts around their neck were eyeing her up as if she were a helpless mouse and they were the owl ready to snatch her up.

Ponies from Hollow Shades noticing Wallflower :trixieshiftright:... Muhahah, as i suspected :yay: :pinkiecrazy:

Wallflower swooned at the thought of all these exotic plants in one location before making a metal note to return here before she left. She needed to pick up a few for her home.

I'm guessing that it's supposed to be mental ?

I love the Hunter stories, and I'm glad to see a change of scenery to Hollow Shades! Bat pones have always been so cute, I can't wait to see more of this :twilightsmile:

Can't wait to see the next chapter.

Enjoying this, my third Hunter story!:twilightsmile:

Hehehe, just be honest with yourself Wallflower. You are not cut out to be a member of the Sol invictus. After all, its not like they have ever done anything for you.

Poor Wallflower she just had a poor overall experience here did she. I hope she gets plenty of help in the next chapter as she needs her psychological head on right before anything else happens becuase she has so many issues due to the paranoia that Sol Invictus has done to her.

Quick tip: writing conventions have a comma before the name when characters address one another. That helps avoid misunderstandings. Look at this example:

"I want to come inside Rainbow Dash!"

versus

"I want to come inside, Rainbow Dash!"

A bit if a difference, isn't it?:trollestia:

Cross over to the naughty side, Wallflower. You know you really want to. And I’m sure Hunter would be happy to have another toy to play with.

defiantly worth the wait, I can only imagine the conversation that will follow this

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Commas use improperly can make a panda a very dangerous animal.

For a moment Hunter was silent as he walked. Briefly he glanced to Moondancer’s worried expression, one that a part of him shared. With a member of the Sol in town it might be better if they just laid low for the week until she left. Heck, Wallflower might not even last the entire week. She might bolt out of town when she found out about what happened on the last day! On the other hoof, they could still have fun. It was getting late and Wallflower would probably just go to the hotel and get some sleep. Not to mention that Wallflower didn’t know where they lived. So unless the green earth mare made a habit of knocking on every door or peaking through every window they should be ok.

...she's gonna walk in on them isn't she ? :trixieshiftright:

“Maybe we need to change that a bit,” whispered Wallflower to herself as her vision began to get a little hazy

More than "a bit" :moustache:

Maybe offer to help those they found in some way. Or maybe offer up a support program where family members could bring the corrupted to them, so they could talk to them in a more comfortable environment.

Not that it will ever happen, but this is a decent enough idea and it is what the Sol should have been doing :moustache:

...And as i was writing this i just realized that the Sol Invictus might not be around for much longer as Wallflower's sister will probably try to "fix" a certain Princess Mi Amore Cadenza :pinkiecrazy:

“But don’t think I’m doing this for free missy. I’ve been needing a helping hoof around this shop for a while now and haven’t found anypony whose up to the task. Last fella I hired took off like a bat trying to escape Tartarus when the Widow Maker tried to eat him. And the one before that kept going to the Eternal Ecstasy, even breaking in after I closed shop! Such a silly filly. Should have just shelled out the bits and taken it home. Would have given her such a discount. Seeing how you stayed behind to help me, well, you might just be up to the task.”

Well, at least we know where she'll be working when she moves in :twilightsmile:

What she saw was not what she had expected to see.

Knew it :ajsmug:

Slowly she looked up and, to her horror, saw that three set of eye were looking at her.

Oh hello Awkward, how are you this fine morning :trollestia:

9676116
Glad you enjoyed it. Hope you are also liked the last two chapters of Spike's Big Case

9676828
Huh, missed that for some reason :trixieshiftright:

Why you do this to me I was waiting to see what would happen once they realize she was there

Was…she and the other ponies in the Sol just like that mare? Wallflower didn’t ponder too long for she quickly shook her head to banish such a thought. No, they weren’t like that. They had research on their side. They knew what was wrong and wicked.

Ask in turn.

Are Christians just as misguided and human as everyone else? ...No, they aren't like that. They have the words of God on their side.

In both cases, a one sentence response will suffice.

"So says the man in charge."

Words are the most powerful weapon in a leader's arsenal. Like with any other weapon, how well they're used and who you turn them on makes all the difference. If you lead those who rely on you down a dark path with lies and deceit, then congratulations, you've just turned your most powerful weapon against your allies. It's worse than a nuke because the damage continues to spread as far as word of mouth allows, and that kind of reach is a terrifying prospect.

To judge them out in the open so they could no longer hide their vulgarity in the shadows. To do to them exactly what they feared she would do in a way that was supposed to help make them better ponies.

I wonder if that has ever actually worked :trixieshiftright:

The Sol needed to change its approach and here was her first step into putting it into practice. Her friends needed guidance to understand what they were doing was wrong, not being ostracized for their vile conduct. She needed to help them understand that.

:facehoof:

“I...,” began Wallflower, pausing to gulp as she gathered her strength. “I don’t need to try something to know its wrong.” As she spoke, Wallflower felt her heart rate increase.

Maybe you don't need to try something to know I it's wrong or not, but you do need to understand it and you, Wallflower, don't :coolphoto:

“Sorry,” said Wallflower. “I’m just sort of making all this up as I go along. I have no idea how I’m supposed to handle this without talking to the rest of the Sol.” She paused to take a breath. “But…I think that if I’m not willing to take what you are all saying seriously then how are you supposed to take me seriously.”

And with just that one sentence you have far surpassed your sister and many, if not all, members of Sol :trollestia:

Oh I can say she wants everything and anything on the table.

Ten bits says she ends up being the kinkiest one..

I really love Wallflower's characterization. Her thought processes are very realistic. Except for the adorkable parts, which have a different appeal.

This is getting interesting. Can’t wait to see where this goes.

9882776
It's always the shy ones

When are we going to get an update? Im excited to see where this goes.

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