(En)danger Zone
Nick woke up as he normally did, took his morning shower and got dressed before heading for breakfast in the dining hall. But something was off this time as he strode into the massive room, a few dozen ponies were chatting over clipboards and various scientific instruments. And as soon as he entered, they all turned to face him, discussing with each other.
“Ah, that must be the hyooman! Be cautious, my comrades, we do not want to startle it.”
“Who would dare keep such a rare and exotic creature in captivity? It may very well be the only one of its kind, and the castle keeps it as a pet?”
“We are going to have to talk to the princess about this. It goes against endangered species laws to have one domesticated like...” the last researcher pony trailed off as Nick walked over with a tray of food. “Quick!” he stage whispered to the others. “Act natural!”
“Riiiiiiight,” Nick began. “So, I'm going to pretend that you all weren't talking about me like I couldn't hear you. And I would like to know what your deal is. It's way too early for this.”
The researchers staggered back in shock. “It… it talks?”
Nick groaned and pinched his nose in annoyance. “Yes. He can speak, is intelligent, and has a college degree and full Equestrian citizenship. And my name is Nick, thanks for asking,” he finished sarcastically. With a huff, the human sat down and began eating his pancakes.
One of the researchers, emboldened by the nudge from his two peers, stepped forward to speak with Nick. “Ah. Um… my deepest apologies good sir, I assure you we had no idea you were intelligent. We overheard Princess Twilight talking about a new species residing at the castle and came to investigate. Perhaps you could tell us about your culture?”
Nick grinned mischievously and said, “As a matter of fact…”
“Nick?” Celestia knocked on his bedroom door. “Nick, it's three in the afternoon. You need to wake up.”
“My apologies, your majesty, but I'm afraid I can't permit that.”
Celestia turned around to face a few of her most trusted researchers. “Ah, Wild Safari. Might I ask why I am not allowed to check on my friend?”
“It is part of his culture, your majesty! Hyoomans are to be allowed to sleep in as long as they please, and their rooms are their safe havens! As the only one of his species in Equestria, we have to respect his wishes as it falls under the endangered species act!”
Celestia frowned. “Oh, so he thinks he's clever, does he? Perhaps I need to update that law with clauses for sentient endangered species such as himself. What else did he tell you?”
“Many things that sound like a foal trying to get out of the rules, but it is his culture! We have to respect it. To commit a faux pas against such a rare creature would go against our oaths as researchers of the crown!”
“Right. Well, this is my castle and I'm going in to have a talk with him.” Celestia wrapped the door handle in her magic and turned it.
Wild Safari jumped in her way before she could open the door. “No, your majesty! You cannot interrupt the sacred human ritual of Royal Cake Time!”
She bared her teeth and shouted at the scientist, “The ritual of WHAT?!”
Celestia flung the door open, only to find Nick sitting at a table, reclined in his chair, snacking on one of HER cakes. Moreover, there were at least five more on the table, and he was clearly enjoying himself.
“NICHOLAS!!”
Nick fell backwards and out of his chair in surprise, scrambling to his feet with frosting still on his face. “Uhh… Celly! Long time no see! How are you?”
“Moat. Now.”
Wild Safari stepped forward. “But your majesty, it's no moat day according to hyooman customs!”
Within moments, Nick, Wild Safari, and the other nearby researchers found themselves swimming in the castle moat. “How dare she defy a hyooman custom like that! Nick, we apologize for our ruler's undignified behavior!”
“Eh. I got cake, I'm happy.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.026 seconds
Total duration
981 users online
1,791,614 hits today, 2,591,549 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Purloined cakes taste all the sweeter.
If only they knew there were more of us
He must teach them the secret human language of memetics.
listen to the songs of my people.
9415545
collective apoplexy.
9415545 till they see them Nick is the only human. Its only a theory till something can be replicated verified by separate independent studies
After all they still treat him as an endangered species the only one of his kind even though they accept his word about having a culture.. More than a little hard to have a culture with only one
9415618
Well I don't think they would want to meet more of us anyway
media.giphy.com/media/aCuBQOhWA9aso/giphy.gif
I have an idea. What if Nick somehow convinced the others to build their own go karts and raced them Mario Kart style? It'd be a good excuse to bring the Bathmobiletm
9415575
While that video is great, it doesn’t have: What’s Up by 4 Non Blondes (Hey-ya-hey-ya-ya-hey-ya-ya) (‘96 I believe)
Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz (2005)
Through the Fire and Flames by DragonForce (2006)
Megalovania by Toby Fox (2016 I believe)
The Next Episode by Dr. Dre (????)
Smoke Weed Everyday by Snoop Dogg (????)
And the T-Series Diss Track by Pewdiepie (2018)
Perhaps others, but I only watched half the video
That’s why I prefer this 30 minute meme chronicle
(Memes have bad words in this one)
Talk about a big backfire for Twilight.
All these times Celestia's gotten angry, and we haven't seen Daybreaker once. Or Nightmare Moon, for that matter.
I don't suppose you could rectify this? Pretty please?
9415853
Hmmmm........................
9415853
9416058
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/114/033/aed.gif
I had to favorite and follow, these are so good
9416909
Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed.
You are too kind, this one really brightened my day
9508834
If you want to get annoyingly grand-design-galaxy technical about it, we kind of are. Even though on Earth we number at over 8 billion world-wide, consider that all of those billions are located on only one little planet in the entire galaxy, which houses countless other planets. If we died out on this world, we'd be extinct. So planet-wise we're not an endangered species. Galaxy-wise, we are, and universe-wise, we're an exotic rarity.
9540736
I recall some story where humans are kicking the collective ass of invading aliens, and one of them says something like "By universal standards, your species is within margin of error! A race that is extinct by galactic standards has no right to be a threat to our empire!"
This one had me rolling
9540800
Ashfur by chance you remember the name of that story that sounds like a good read to me?
Clever hy-uman