• Published 25th Sep 2018
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Prank War! - Ashfur



A crafty human and two alicorn princesses get into shenanigans together.

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How I met your Princess

Nick leaned back into the soft grass of the castle gardens and stared up at the clouds, humming a wordless tune to himself as his companion stretched her wings and limbs in the afternoon sun. He knew it was rare for Twilight to catch a break while in Canterlot given her princessly duties, so he had scheduled a time for her to ‘learn about one of the most important aspects of modern human culture’, or as he really meant, ‘slack off and do zilch’.

“Hey, Nick,” Twilight let out a slight yawn, having pulled an all-nighter to fix the tax code after Blueblood tweaked it again. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

A hand suddenly obscured her vision and booped her on the nose, causing Twilight to scrunch her muzzle up cutely. “You just did, Sparky. Want anything else?”

“Yeah, don't start that right now.”

“Alright, do you-” Nick stopped as Twilight lazily turned her head to face him, giving him a sleepy but still effective glare. “Uh… d-do you want to ask me now or later?”

“Well, I actually had two questions, but I figured I'd save the second for some other time. So, pick which one you wanna answer first, as Celestia and Luna keep dodging the question. What was the first prank you pulled on the sisters? Or, if you want to tell me that later, how did you react to ending up in Equestria? And where, for that matter?”

“Hoo boy, that's a big one, Sparky.” Nick placed his hands behind his head, crossing one leg over the other. “Both of those are connected, too. It all started one Tuesday evening after work. Or at least I think it was after work, my specific memory of my life on Earth is kinda hazy...”


“Princess Moon Moon! How are you doing this fine morning?” Discord twisted around the lunar princess like a snake while staying in the air, flicking her ear with a claw. “You look like you need some chaos.”

“Discord, we are not in the mood for this. Twilight's world is currently mixed up thanks to my sister sending her Starswirl's cutie mark spell, and we are worried she may not be able to fix things this time.”

“Oh, cheer up! What if I told you that little spell caused enough chaos for me to reach onto another world via a mirror portal and bring you something to help prank your sister? Think of it as an early birthday present.”

“Truly? Very well then, let us have it! A break in the monotony might be nice.”

“As you wish, princess!” Discord snapped his talon and a strange biped materialized above Luna. He scrambled about seemong panicked, grasping at the empty air before plummeting down and landing square on Luna's back.

“What is the meaning of this insolence?! Get off our back, mortal!” much like any normal equine would, Luna started bucking and thrashing about to throw Nick off her, but Discord had used his magic to superglue Nick on so that getting tossed was impossible.

“Ow! OW! Whoa! Calm down! Why am I on a big blue horse anyway!?”

“Did thou just call us a primitive horse?! HOW DARE THEE!” Luna bellowed out in the Royal Canterlot Voice. She kicked and flapped her wings harder, causing some damage to Nick as he was flung about like a rag doll. “WE COMMAND THEE, OFF!” During the struggle, if it could even be called that, Luna bounced over to one of the windows without realizing, too focused on the alien creature glued to her back. With a mighty leap, she crashed through the window, across the small balcony, over the parapet, and plummeting down the side of the castle. Luna was unable to open her wings to correct due to the weight on her back throwing her off-balance, and they crashed into the moat.

Nick thought he was a goner until a golden glow raised them both out of the water, and he found himself face to muzzle with a large white horse that seemed to be some combination of unicorn and pegasus with screensaver hair.

“Well hello there, my little creature. What are you?”


“And you know the rest. The doctor ponies fixed me up from getting roughhoused like that, and then called you in to help with making sure I wasn't a biohazard or potential danger.” Nick closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nose, having finished recounting his tale.

Twilight, having been enraptured at the new information, regained her sense of self and chortled at the story. “So, is that why Luna gives you a lift on her back every now and again?”

“Heh, yeah. Once she realized I had been dragged into it, she wanted some way to apologize and show me I shouldn't be scared of her. I'd say it worked. By the way, don't let Luna know I told you this. She's still a little embarrassed about it.”

“Yes, it would be a tragedy if we found out thou told Sparkle without consulting us first.”

Nick's eyes shot open and he found Luna standing over him, looking at him with a face somewhere between ‘gotcha’ and ‘irritated’. “Oh, hi Luna! We were just talking about you! How's your day going?”

“Well, we were going to offer to take thee for a ride around the gardenes, but now we believe the moat would be a more apt destination. Get on our back, Nicholas.”

“Is this optional?”

“That depends. Would thou turn down thy dear friend?”

With a laugh, Nick got to his feet and allowed Luna to levitate him onto her back. “I thought you were a horse, not a deer. But you make a fair point, my friend. Giddy up!”

Author's Note:

I'm rather shocked that I haven't explained Nick's arrival until now. Obviously, it was Discord's fault.

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