My Mane is Inigo Munchoya
“Celestia, you called for me? What's up?” Nick asked as he strode into one of the more secluded conference rooms of Canterlot Castle, coming face to muzzle with not only Celestia, but also Twilight Sparkle. Laid out on the table were two slices of very appetizing cake, adorned with decorations and frosting so delicious looking that it made Nick's mouth water just looking at it. “Whoa. That for me?”
Celestia smiled her usual motherly smile. “One is. And I'll even let you choose which slice you want. But since you've been so devious recently, I thought I might add an extra filling to the mix.” She levitated a vial into Nick's view, waiting for him to read it.
“Arca's lava java nine alarm oh goddess no here it comes dragon breath hot sauce? Hoo boy. You know I don't do spicy too well. Let me guess, you spiked one of the slices with it?”
“Yes, my little human, I have added it to one of the cakes. Now, choose your fate.”
Nick let his gaze carefully wander over both slices, scanning for any irregularities or indications of tampering. He found none. For all intents and purposes, they were the exact same slices of cake. One in front of Celestia, and one in front of the chair he proceeded to sit in.
“Hmmm… so which one has the hot sauce? Naturally, the easiest form of this is to put it in the other person's food. But you told me about the fact one of these is spiked with hot sauce, so clearly it can't be that simple.”
“Well, anypony could tell you that,” Twilight chimed in.
“Shush, I'm thinking, Sparky. Now, if she expected me to think it was simple, Celly would have spiked her cake, expecting me to take it. But in a formal setting, she knows I would never steal her food, so she planned and held this in a private room where I could take her cake, fully expecting me to take hers, so I can't take hers since it might have the sauce!”
Twilight turned to her fellow princess. “Are all humans this loony?”
“If they are, it's a miracle they get anything done.”
“...but it's Tuesday! The cafeteria usually serves spicy foods on Tuesday, so it stands to reason that you have spiked the cake in front of me, having already eaten spicy food today, yet it also stands to reason that you spiked your cake, gambling on the fact that having spicy food already today made you more acclimated to the spicy flavor! Twilight, what were the chefs serving today?”
Twilight swayed in her seat alittle, eyes closed in thought. “I think it was hay and daisy sandwiches.”
“AHA!” Nick slammed his hand on the table dramatically, pointing his finger at Celestia. “You knew that I avoid lunch on Tuesdays, ordering special from the chefs, so you clearly had bland food today to prep for the potential of eating spicy food, which would mean you likely spiked your own cake… But you don't eat in the dining hall! So you clearly spiked my cake, thinking that I wouldn't remember that fact!”
Celestia giggled. It was a very formal and regal giggle, hiding her smile behind her wing. “It seems your memory is better than I expected, Nick.”
“Hey! You hid your smile! You're still hiding something! You hid a third slice around here, didn't you?”
“No, Nick. I promise these are the only slices of cake in the room. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” Celestia quickly repeated the motions of the Pinkie Promise.
“Then there's only one possible answer!” Nick lunged forward and grabbed the slice of cake in front of Celestia, shoveling it into his mouth. He chewed, chewed some more, and swallowed triumphantly. “Ha HA! I win, Celly! Now I get to watch so you eat the spiked caaaAAAAAAAAA!” Nick began screaming in pain as he stuck out his tongue and tried to scrape the taste off. When that failed, he grabbed the other slice of cake and stuffed that in his mouth. He seemed relieved.
“Mmmmmm… mmm? MmmmMMMAAARRRGGGH!” ...or not, as he spat the cake onto the floor and bolted out of the room, red faced and sweating, to find something to stop the burning pain his mouth.
“Wow, Celestia,” Twilight began. She didn't notice, but the solar alicorn’s mirthful expression saddened a bit as her former student refused to use informal names. “how did you know he'd take yours?”
“I didn't. Both had hot sauce. When you control an object so hot as the sun…” she paused to take a sip of hot sauce straight from the bottle. “...you can handle any amount of heat. Mmm, this one's a good batch, you should try some.”
Twilight shied away a little. “I think I'll pass. But you said you only spiked one with hot sauce! You lied!”
Celestia giggled, less refined this time. “Loopholes, my little princess. I only spiked one cake, mine to be precise, with this hot sauce. I spiked the other cake slice with this one,” she explained. “Remember, just because you have two identical objects does not mean they have to be called the same thing. I added a bit of human flair Nick told me about to make this other bottle a little different.” She then levitated a second bottle for Twilight to inspect. She read the label aloud.
“Arca's lava java nine alarm oh goddess no here it comes dragon breath hot sauce… & Knuckles?”
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nice! Sonic+Knuckles! Early DLC!
Now really Nick, if you knew the scene, you ought to have known the gag. But then, how often does one get the chance to go screaming through the castle like a maniac?
On a related note, I honestly expected hot sauce made by Arca to grant genuine (if non-flammable) fire breath.
Hopefully not making a fool of myself...
Title was a The Princess Bride refrence?
Figuratively means pick your poison, either way you burn... WITH DETERMINATION!!
I recommend the most dangerous mafia boss of in the Yogscast.
Chicken Montoya
Wait a minute.
We can narrow the timeline of when Nick was sent over with that last word.
9421454
"Well it used to! But it turns out casting fireproofing spells isn't standard practice outside of Rainbow Falls, so I had to take that part out. Wierd, right? It's almost like there's an inherent fire risk in town.
I also had to take actual lava out of the recipe... turns out 'hot suce' means spicy and not high temperature."
I'm having & Knuckles memes flashbacks.
AAAAUGHHH
Oh no! </Knuckles>
9421473
Yeah. There was a scene in which there were two goblets with drinks inside, one of which was poisoned. Vizini kept switching the drinks and there was a long thing where they discussed which drink was correct, and eventually Vizini chose wrong.
9421526
What is the "& Knuckles" meme?
9421570
Oh yeahhh! I remember that!
I figured the loophole would be that both slice were spiked because they came from the same cake Celestia had spiked with hot sauce. Nick just assumed that each slice came from different cakes.
I was surprised that it was a different kind of word play wonder if Nick would fall for the same trick twice.
9421647
oops, brainfart
Nick you fool, you've fallen for one of the classic strategic blunders, the most famous of which is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly behind that is never match wits with Celestia when cake is on the line!
9421570
Not quite. Wesley poisoned both, so Vizini was dead either way.
9421831
Meh, close enough. It's been a few years since I've seen it.
9421847
Fair enough
9421831
In other words, we now know that Nick hasn't seen or read The Princess Bride. Wow. What a weakness!
9421972
My comedic weakness is that I still need to watch Monty Python
9421972
I know, right?! Or maybe he has and just decided to play Vizini to humor Celestia.
9421582
Search up 'Knuckles Rap' on YouTube.
I knew pretty early on that both slices were spiked. Still, it's always nice to see a fellow fan of that movie.
Called it
Yes. And yes.
Fortunately we have alcohol to grease the wheels.
But really, hasn't Nick seen The Princess Bride? He should know that you never face down Celestia when cake is on the line.
9422106
To be fair it had been years since I saw it, so I needed to rewatch that scene to get it right... and ended up laughing my ass off at it again.
9421979
I was expecting the story to demonstrate this, but it seems that he played it straight despite the obvious danger, suggesting that he is either really dedicated or managed to reproduce it independently.
9422027
I do not have access to youtube at the moment, but googling it lead to dead ends.
Only the best hot sauce.
Honestly though, I’m an irrationally big fan of spicy things, I order my Taco Bell burritos with Diablo sauce.
9422147
The game sonic 3 of the sonic the hedgehog series was split into 2 cartridges because of the hardware at the time, the second cart allowing you to play as Knuckles not only in Sonic 3, but Sonic 1 and 2 as well if you attatched it to those cartriges instead. The title screen was then modified to read, "Sonic (or sonic 2 or 3) & Knuckles".
Since then adding '& knuckles' to the end of anything has become a meme, albeit a horribly outdated one.
9422188
Sonic 3 came out 25 years ago, right?
9422313
Think about it. You sit facing the door. Someone walks in, and in response you spin 180 degrees.
You are now facing away from them.
9421976
I wasn't expecting that!
Biggus Dickus! What has Rome ever done for use?!
9421756
Inconceivable!
9422478
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
9422484
Stop using it? As you wish
You put hot sauce in a cake!
Prepare to fry!
:D
............... can I have some of the later hot sauce???
9424073
NICE!
I just want to say...Thank you for spreading humor all around the fandom. You are a good person/pony/creature.
...
I hope.
*Joking Winks*
9425521
I just wish I had the skill to do other genres. I've been considering a romance story for a bit, but I'm not sure who would read it.
9430620
Inconceivable!
& Knuckles
It was inevitable.
9434182 Dey wey?
“I spiked one cake with hot sauce... before I sliced it.”
Been seeing a LOT of Princess-Bride Merch lately. Is something up concerning it? A remake, perhaps?
9430683
You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.
Great story Ashfur and great movie too lol
9436479
Unfortunately, this one is a completely different Knuckles-related meme. One that was actually part of the games, at that.
Clever mare
I expected Tia to spike one and Luna or Twilight did the other one!