Prank War!

by Ashfur

Munched 9: The Mane Event

The royal kitchens were relatively active compared to the normal lunch rush, due to a large number of diplomats present, but that hardly slowed the chefs down. An unexpected intruder, on the other hoof, drew lots of attention as he strode through the doors.

“Ah, good afternoon, you wonderful masters of the culinary arts. Do not mind me,” he explained in a strong, masculine voice. “My name is Nickel Ingot, and I am a federal door inspector. I was asked by Celesta to come and inspect her cake vault. Please, don't worry, I will be as quiet as I can.” Nick, disguised as Nickel, grinned. He was banking on this scheme working, and getting him unfettered access to the cake stash for a few hours.

Surprisingly enough, the chefs bought the ruse, and even the guards stepped aside as Nickel opened the vault and walked in, closing the door behind him. “Heheh, those ponies are too trusting. All the cake I could want, and… hello, what have we here?” As his eyes scanned the shelves, he noticed a small vial nestled between two double-layer chocolate cakes. He reached over and picked it up. It contained a small dose of some liquid, with a label reading ‘taste bud enhancer’ seemingly covering some older label.

“Some kinda potion to make stuff taste better, huh? Welp, bottoms up!” He uncorked the vial and swallowed its contents, wincing slightly at the rather bitter taste. “Ugh, figures it would try and enhance the bad too. Now let's see, what to eat first…” Nickel idly scratched his head with his hoof, a sudden itch developing along his mane. A similar sensation formed at the base of his tail, but he couldn't reach there without falling over. He was, however, able to turn and look at his tail as the itching increased in intensity.

Suddenly, as the itching reached unbearable levels, his tail was pulled into him as his mane rapidly extended. It looked rather comical, almost as though his mane and tail were all one long cluster of threads running over him. And that seemed to be the case, as his mane fell off like a cheap wig, leaving Nick without a mane or tail.

He tried to stammer out some kind of explanation. “Wh-WHAT?! That's not how biology works!” But his mane abandoning him got even stranger, as the strands of hair twisted together to form some sort of rope-snake, and it slithered away through the door connecting the vault to the kitchens as one of the guards opened it to check on him. “Hey! Get back here! Somepony catch that… whatever you wanna call it!” He galloped out the door after it, only to fall flat on his face as the hairsnake laid flat on the floor and tripped him. It slithered off into the dining hall.

---

“And what, pray tell, has thou in such a good mood, dear sister?”

As Celestia entered the dining hall with Luna, she giggled. “Oh, nothing. I just so happened to… accidentally leave a dose of the most infamous potion in Equestria among my cakes. And according to my alarm spell, a certain somehuman just drank it.”

“SOMEPONY STOP THAT THING!!” A maneless Nickel Ingot burst from the kitchen in hot pursuit of a strangely hairy snakelike creature. The hairsnake coiled itself up and leapt onto the table, landing in an ambassador's soup. He looked appalled.

“Ugh, and I thought one hair in my soup was bad enough!”

The hairsnake slithered among various other meals as Nickel dove onto the table to catch it, sending plates and silverware flying all over the place. Finally grabbing it in his mouth, the mass of hair attached itself to his upper lip and went limp, giving him a ridiculously long moustache.

Celestia and Luna fell over laughing.

---

Celestia stared in shock at the headline of the paper the next morning in her office.

Nickel Ingot praised for trampling tainted meals, preventing food poisoning for dozens of ambassadors. Decides to shave record-breaking moustache.

Right on time, there was a knock on her door, signaling Nick meeting her for a cup of morning tea. She opened the door wide, meeting her human friend at eye level.

“Good morning, Ni-”

A very bald Nick glared at her. “Not. One. Word.”

Celestia spoke no words, settling for having another laughing fit.

Author's Note:

Requests for a certain potion to appear in this story have really been growing over the past few weeks.
I'd even go so far as to say it's my mane request at the moment...

Comments

[Dravkwn]

Nick making some rather bald moves drinking potions like that.

[Dashie04]

That author’s note made me die inside.

[Da Fennec]

Nickel seems to have interesting luck.. Some bad that seems to turn out for the best somehow

[Raistlin]

I'm all for Nick getting pranked, but this time the author smacked him with the idiot ball. He really should know better than to drink unknown substances from Tia's stash at this point of the prank war.

[ANW]

Wait.
Was the food really poisoned?
Or was that them trying to save face?

[Eroraf86]

Guess those nobles experienced a close shave. Honestly, Nickel Ingot's luck at the end was just a hair ridiculous.

[MLPMekarm]

those were bad puns in the notes.

[Ashfur]

9474645
Not poisoned in the sense some assassin put cyanide in it, but the food was cooked improperly such that all who would have eaten it would have been ill for a day or so.

[Skyfall360]

9474744
SANS DARNIT

[Eroraf86]

9475216
What? Didn't that tickle your funny bone? Well, joke's on you; you can't scalp a skeleton!

[Mossy Pages]

Well that was a hairy situation..

[Zapper Frost]

Requests for a certain potion to appear in this story have really been growing over the past few weeks.
I'd even go so far as to say it's my mane request at the moment...

[Kornwallis]

9474522
Well in D&D terms Nick has a high intelligence stat but his wisdom is his dumb stat. What this means to those who don’t play D&D, Nick is a pretty smart person but forgets to apply common sense to everyday life. That’s why he can pull off elaborate pranks yet is unaware of the dangerous of drinking random potions.

[Kornwallis]

Here’s a question would Nick’s poison joke effect be the same in his pony form as it is in his human form?

[Skyfall360]

9475313
I'm undying inside but laughing at the same time!

[ChaosDX1]

How long will the pony disguise last before the staff start getting wise to it? Or at least realize "Nickel" is part of the prank war.

[Coretz]

“I was asked by Celesta to come and inspect her cake vault. "

Celesta

*alarms ring*

Also, Equestria isn't a federation or other federated nation, so "Federal" doesn't mean anything to anypony.

9474522
Especially when the bottle has clearly been relabelled!

[Black--Soul]

Nick makes pranks with quantity.
The Royal Sisters prefer quality!