The Big Machine
Princess Celestia sat on her throne hosting open day court, a monthly event that was needed to show how she was a fair ruler. It was the same as normal day court: ponies come in asking for rulings on land disputes, favors to be done for town building projects and events, her royal alchemist barged in demanding one of her feathers for an experiment, a school wanted her to come and visit their foals, and so on. The big difference was that this day court session was open to the public. The doors to the throne room were held wide open, and anypony could waltz right in and observe the proceedings provided they stayed behind a certain point and didn't cause a ruckus.
She was in the middle of listening to a long request for a federal loan to allow some business venture in Vanhoover when something caught her eye. Through the open doors of the throne room, she saw the castle's resident human dragging a rather large cart full of wood, springs, and other supplies through the main entry hall and towards the royal guard practice fields. That's odd, she thought, but decided to pay it no mind as she mentally prepared herself for the ‘sorry, the crown will not support that’ speech.
The day seemed to progress as normal until a request for her to attend a sporting event as an honored guest. For starters, it actually didn't conflict with her schedule, so she could say yes. But the other strange thing was seeing Nick March through the lobby again, with several craftsponies in tow, carrying lots of hammers and saws.
But she persisted, listening to grievance after grievance for another few hours. Even when the racket of construction began emanating from the training fields, Celestia simply cast a soundproofing spell and kept on with her work. She couldn't help the itch in the back of her mind, though: What was Nick up to this time?
The noises seemed to have an unintended effect, though. “Sister?” Luna trotted into the throne room, still in her purple pajamas with white polka dots and holding a teddy bear under her wing. “What in Tartarus is all that infernal racket about? We cannot sleep whilst it persists.”
“Uh, Luna? You do realize where you are, right?”
“Oh course, we art in the royal throne room, and we art trying to sleep, yet that cacophony outside is giving us a headache!”
“Luna.”
“And another thing-” Luna was about to continue her triade when a muffled giggle came from behind her. Slowly, she turned her head around, eyes widening as she finally noticed the couple hundred ponies in attendance. “...oh. Uh… We have to go now, sister. We believe we have left the oven on.” Luna trotted out of the throne room at a brisk pace, turning and addressing the crowd as she left. “Not. One. Word.”
The soundproofing spell proved highly useful as Celestia and her subjects enjoyed a laugh at Luna's expense.
That evening, Nick was putting the finishing touches on his giant contraption when Celestia and Luna finally came to investigate what he was up to. The thing he was working on appeared to be a giant ten foot wooden cube, with gears, conveyors, and other moving parts on its sides.
“Hello, Nick.”
“Ah, Celly! Luna! You two are just in time for the first use of my Giant Contraption That Does A Thing 3000! Please, have a seat right over there and enjoy the show!” He gestured to the nearby bench so the princesses could sit down.
Luna glared at Nick. “It does not pull pranks, does it?”
“Nope! I swear it doesn't. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” Nick quickly performed a slight variant of the Pinkie promise hand motions he and the over enthusiastic pink mare had worked out for humans. “It does a very important thing, but no pranks!”
“Very well, Nicholas. But we art watching thee.”
Celestia and Luna sat down where Nick had indicated, noting that the wooden bench was slightly damp, but neither mentioned it since there had been a scheduled rainstorm the night prior. “Well, Nick? Go ahead.”
Nick nodded, and proceeded to turn the hand crank on the side of the machine, setting everything into motion. Gears turned, pinwheels spun, moving parts moved, and the attached bells rung. Nick just kept spinning the hand crank for several minutes, before Luna finally lost a bit of her patience.
“So what exactly does it do, Nicholas?”
Nick grinned, approaching and bopping the lunar princess on the muzzle. “You silly pony. It distracts princesses while the glue on the bench dries.”
“What?!”
“See you girls later, I'm going to the market! Good luck getting yourselves unstuck from that bench!”
“NIIIIIIIIICK!”
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bwahahahahahahaha! Bloody Genius!
9388471
Thank you! Also how the floof did you read and comment that fast. Do you just like wait refreshing the page or something?
And he spoke truthfully. The box did not do a prank. 🙂
9388501
It better not have! He knows better than to break a pinkie promise!
9388475
Fluffle Puff want's to have a word with you over the use of such foul language.
i.ytimg.com/vi/rMFWc_FMhqs/maxresdefault.jpg
You did fine on the editing dude, but if you are ever in doubt just paste your story into Microsoft word. It will catch most of the mistakes and i'm pretty sure you would be the only one on this entire damn site to actually do it
9388539
Eye feel like thats a complement butt honestly im just very self conscious becuz i feel like if it's not perfecc u all will leave
9388553
While I am sure every author wishes their story is perfect, your story has a small amount of mistakes compared to many others I have seen on this site
9388557
Heh, honestly I think I've written more mistakes on purpose for the sake of annoying Twilight than ones made on accident...
9388559
I tend to agree
Oh man, I knew something like that was gonna happen; I just knew it; from the moment the Sisters noticed but ignored the wet bench I knew their fates were sealed or rather their plot’s were stuck on the bench for a long time.
Nice joke and humour their with Luna’s Embarrassing mistake and as she cuddled her wittle teddy bear in her cute little jammy’s in full public view.
Loved the ending, but I'm slightly disappointed it didn't just go ding.
pm1.narvii.com/6620/d68d6427f258acb5f5c3fb03f2390a1173290567_hq.jpg
craftsponues -> craftponies
9388589 It had to ding a little after all the bells rang.. Hey watch it Nick you're stealing Trixie's stick. After all stage magicians distract the audience while they do their trick
(sets up a table with jars) ok. place you're bets ponies on witch princess is gonna throw nick in the moat next prank.
9388823
(Adds a couple more jars) I'll be starting my own bet. Which Princess with get out of the glued seat first to toss Nick in the moat for this prank.
9388842
You know, I hadn't considered that part.
I kinda envisioned them chasing Nick down through the market with the bench still glued to their butts.
A little tip, if you happen to use a suggestion, I’d suggest you give credit to the person who came up with the suggestion. Not saying you did that here, but for future reference.
9388913
I do! In the author's notes! Look at the previous chapter for an example. I always give credit.
9388917
Alright
But man, that was a fast reply.
9388918
Random chance. I happened to check in for comments.
I check like 3 times an hour because I have no life and comments make me feel special. They make my day!
9388881
If they did that, the bench would be in two pieces, each part still glued to a princess.
9388921
I check for replies everytime I load a new page... plus more if I'm expecting a reply
. Fuck...zzz. That’s today?... I’m on a bender... zzz.
Ashfur I'm loving the pranks nick is pulling but I did spot one grammar mistake you her mage came in asking for one if feathers when it's supposed to be asking for one OF her feathers apart from that it was a really good chapter carry on with the good work and funny pranks
Yours sincerely golden shadow fire
9389282
Oh for floofs sake... ADMIRAL! YOU MISSED ANOTHER ONE!
...Waitasec I edited this one myself cuz he was busy today.
...buck.
Don't put yourself down ashfur it's only 1 mistake in the story I'm writing I've made God knows how many mistakes you're still one of my favourite Fimfiction authors
Yours sincerely golden shadow fire
9388559
And to annoy me.
9389505
HAH! Wasn't my fault this time.
9388475
Coincidence!
> Superglue on your 'undercarriage'
Silly Pony, Tricks are for Nicks!
...
Yes, that was bad. I'll leave now.
Until the next chapter...
Okay now THAT was a brilliant use of a Pinkie Promise! Following the Letter of The Law, while keeping his victims unaware of his TRUE intentions! <3
Have you done a prank called, “The Bushman” yet? It involves the person wearing a ghillie suit and hiding in an empty planter or standing in between foliage and scaring the ever loving hell out of people who pass by.
9702263
No, I have not. You do seem to want it, though, sonce you asked the same thing twice. (Yes, I noticed. I read every comment on my stories.) I'll add it to the list of pending pranks, I suppose.
9702284
Great. Looking forward to it.
That's my favorite kind of lying: the truth and nothing but the truth.
...Well, Applejack, the idea is that your mark often won't. At least not before it's too late for them to do anything about your real plan.
I initially though he managed to make something like Wintergatan's Marble Machine.
Ok that prank isn't funny! They are not wearing clothing! Imagen you get your balls, pelvis or rectal exit glued to a bench. Thus can cause seriouse body harm...