• Published 25th Sep 2018
  • 11,391 Views, 2,116 Comments

Prank War! - Ashfur

A crafty human and two alicorn princesses get into shenanigans together.

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Drive by

"This cannot be safe, Nick. I have lived for thousands for years, and I have seen this level of stupidity only a few times."

"That's why we put a seat belt in, Celestia."

"Just promise me you'll go slow and only drive it on Castle grounds for now."

"Who said I was driving? I have a volunteer. Twilight's gonna use a spell to let me see through the front of the vehichle, and I'll drive remotely."

"I still don't see how this is safe." Celestia looked over the contraption with uncertainty. While Nick was pretty good at constructing wacky devices with Twilight's help, and Nick wouldn't be riding it... "I get your idea of a 'car', but was it entirely necessary to strap wheels to a bathtub?"

"Yes, if the name alone made it necessary," Nick replied, putting the finishing touches on the logo of the Bathmobiletm.

Twilight smiled as she filled the tub with water. "Just think of how much time this will save, bathing on the go! Nick has a good idea going here."

"Fine. At least tell me who your volunteer is."

Nick smirked. "Oh, he'll be here shortly. He doesn't know he's volunteering, but I am sure he will be thrilled." Putting a hand to his ear, he listened to the approaching voice in the hallway. "Here he comes now!"

"Out of my way, peasant! You're lucky I dont have you fired for that! Ah, there it is. Ape! You have some explaining to do!" A rather irate unicorn stormed into the room, easily identifiable by his white coat, blond mane, chiseled jaw, and insufferable attiude.

Nick stood up and took a step back, feigning surprise. "Prince Blueblood? My apologies, your majesty, but I am unsure of what you mean." He sat down cross-legged on the floor to be at eye level with the prince, knowing he hated the height difference.

"You know full well what you did, ape." Holding up a single hoof, he pointed at his chin, where upon very close inspection one could see a tiny, almost unnoticeable splotch of juice. "This is the result of one of your outrageous pranks, switching my goblet with those accursed dribble glasses of yours. I have a meeting with auntie Luna and that fashionable element bearer, Clarity, in twenty minutes, and I need to bathe all over again to look my best!"

Smiling, Nick stood up and gestured to his vehicle. "Well then, you are in luck! I just so happen to have been building this contraption, and it might just solve all your problems! This Bathmobiletm is designed to carry anypony anywhere in comfort and style, while getting them clean to boot! How about I drive you there remotely with this, and you can be perfectly clean and presentable when you meet Rarity. I heard she was very excited to see you again."


"Hey Rarity, can you meet with Blueblood tomorrow?"

"Absolutely not."

"I'm pranking him, you're gonna have front row seats."

"Please, allow a lady to finish speaking, Nicholas. Absolutely not... is what a fool would say."

"Hmph! Fine, but we will be discussing this further, ape. You have no right to go romping around the castle just because my aunts and all the peasant staff like you." Getting into the tub, he picked up the provided bath bomb Twilight floated to him and dropped it in the water, turning it a bubbling blue. "Ah, a bubble bath! Perhaps I will permit you to go unpunished this one time, IF you get me to my meeting in a timely manner."

"Will do, your majesty." With a flourish and a press of the controls, Blueblood was off, already scrubbing at his chin to remove the smudge. Nick hoof bumped Twilight while making sure the contraption stayed on course.

"How'd you convince him that was such a good idea? Not that I'm against him learning some humility," Celestia inquired.

"Mixed some of Applejack's super salty cider in with his grape juice. She hides the salty taste so well he probably doesn't even know he's slightly inebriated. Want me to 'accidentally' drive this thing down the stairs and into the courtyard? It's not the original plan, but I'll change it for ya if you want, Celly."

"This is fine."

Blueblood rolled down the hallways in Nick's bathmobile, happy as a clam. He chuckled at the peasant staff pointing at him and covering their smiles with their hooves, knowing they were simply in awe and jealous of his new and innovative way to clean on the go and cut preparation time in half! Dipping his head under the fizzing blue water one last time to rinse off, the odd contraption entered the conference room where Rarity and Luna waited.

To the two ponies waiting for Blueblood, only Rarity knew he was to suffer a prank, but she certainly was not expecting her hated royal 'friend' to roll through the door. In a bathtub. Smelling of salt. And clearly pleased with himself.

Luna recovered first as the vehicle approached, stifling a chuckle. "Hello nephew, how art thou this fine evening?"

"Oh, wonderful, auntie! Nick provided this grand method of bathing on the way to my meetings, so that I do not have to spend time in my room preparing when I could be attending events instead. Look!"

Luna stepped closer to examine the Bathmobiletm. As soon as she was in range, hidden spring placed on the rear axle of the mobile tub catapulted one inebriated pony and 80 gallons of blue bathwater onto her. As Rarity fell over laughing at Blueblood, still perfectly dry, a dripping wet, angry pair of ponies stood up and had only one thing to say.

"Nicholas!" "Ape!"

"So I hear Saddle Arabia is nice this time of year," Nick stated. "Twilight, thanks for the help. The rest is in your hooves." And with speed rivaling a wonderbolt, he was gone.

"The rest?" Pondered the Solar diarch.

"Yes! You really think I'd help Nick prank for no reason?" Pulling out a clipboard, she trotted off towards the meeting room. "It's time for SCIENCE!"

Author's Note:

Wait a minute... BULE bathwater? A bath bomb that neither Nick nor Twilight wanted to touch?

Looks like you're all getting your wish next chapter, because that prank was no joke. It was POISION joke!

Credit to the webtoon "Eddsworld" for the Bathmobiletm.

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