• Member Since 27th Jun, 2014
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I write commissions and sometimes write stuff I come up with too. Nuff said.

Comments ( 52 )

Huh, foalcon and impregniation, that's rare




Well, he's an older colt, past the age of consent and puberty, so why not?

Good point. I sort of have something familiar planned with foalcon , just don't know how to Work out the Aftermath.

Brilliant numbers.

Only way to make this better is at 2:22 PM (because it's the second set of hours) on a tuesday during the year 2222. Also on the 22nd.

But that'll take a while. Just thought this should be brought to attention.

Should this really be added to the foalcon groups if he's not a foal?

10094341 He's still technically a foal, as he's a teen. I didn't add it, so if you don't think it belongs there, go ahead and delete it.

I don't care either way, but "technically a foal" and "legal age in universe" are not the same thing. You should probably pick a lane.

In my opinion, a foal is anything short of full physical maturity when they would be considered a mare or stallion, age of consent or no. During puberty, they could be either a foal/colt/filly or a 'young mare/stallion'. To me, and I may be in the minority, but foal does not equate strictly to a young child pony.

I view it as being like medieval England, where when they hit sexual maturity they were considered an adult. In my universe, they need a cutie mark too, through, to be independent, so they can start training in a job to support themselves and Equestrian society.

But your story description says they're an adult. "Legal age" means an adult. That's literally what it means to be of legal age, by definition.

If you mean "in this world kids are permitted to have sex," then maybe you should say that. From the current story description this isn't foalcon.

As said before, remove it from the group if you think it's not a right fit.

EDIT: After a discussion with the commissioner, as it wasn't really an important part of the writing process or central focus of the story, and a few little edits to the story as such, this is indeed foalcon.

Finally got a read of everything, nice work! I love how supportive and understanding Thunderlane is

That moment between Rumble and Thunderlane was wholesome as hell. I loved it



Well, glad that scene had the desired effect! Expect more of that dynamic between them in future chapters.

Nice to See spitfire helping Rumble out, caring as a leader should be.

And not to forget thunderlane, giving advice to his litte Brother

Damn you, you monster...

Yep, she keeps her squad in line, no doubt.


Yep. It appears fimfiction is on the fritz again, Haven, received your last Reply.

Anyway, keep up the Good Work!

And if i may, you do Rumble's struggle well

Thanks, the commissioner wanted Rumble's hesitance and learning experience about sex and consent as a central focus, so I did my best to make his reactions as realistic as possible.

Youre Welcome! And if i may say, this might come in Handy for myself. Your Story with pip was helpful for me before

Ahhh... the sweet sounds of planning behind the backs of others. It's a beautiful sound, like music to my ears.

But, yeah I get the feeling Fleetfoot & Rainbow are planning something. Honestly I think the reason I like your stories cause it's basically like regular stories without the restraint on details. Kinda why I enjoy The Chase and it's romance a tad more.

You earned it, Rumble!

And sorry about the last comment, old habit.


“Oh c’mon, you know that mares are way more aerodynamic than stallions...for obvious reasons,” Soarin countered, getting a grin from Spitfire.

“Yeah-yeah, the old ‘I have huuuge dangling stallion bits so I can’t fly for manure’ argument,” Spitfire pressed, "'they're inside my coat-tight jumpsuit, but they affect me somehow!'"

Soarin simply rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well you sure seem to like my ‘huge stallion bits’,” Soarin retorted, making Spitfire smirk back.

“Yeah, yeah, and don’t forget who that big ol’ dick and those balls belong to, hmm?” Spitfire asked, giving Soarin a quick smooch on the lips. Soarin huffed, walking away to the showers, Spitfire following him closely.

A friend of mine actually pulled the huge off in a different meaning recently

Ok you knew exactly what this title is and pretty much the first comment on the story is me accidentally guessing the title.

Makes me realize how much this joke is used.

If you can't guess it, then I'm amazed how are you writing good stories... so yea. You monster. :]

Thunderlane is such a fucking bro in this. What a breath of fresh air.:heart:

Lucky indeed! And it's just getting started.

Funny though, almost all clop stories with Rumble I read, have him cumming a big load at his first time

Ahh... Rumble is actually probably one of the best background foals in my opinion. Right up there with the likes of Dinky, Tootsie and Alula. Just very nice and easy character to write, and Scootaloo works very well with him.

Haven't seen many Fics using his more sarcastic 'Cool Guy' attitude from his episode but that works fine.

I'm anticipating the meat of the content in the next three chapters, (Pun Intended).

Short but good! Go get her, Tiger!

Due to making a change in the next chapter and waiting for a green-light from the commissioner for it, and wanting this story to be as good as possible, I'll be postponing publishing the next chapter tonight (2/24/20). It should be out tomorrow. Sorry for the delay!

EDIT: Chapter was released today, thanks to a quicker-than-expected response from the commissioner.

i like that suuper spoiler made it even better

The more you know. Great work!

As a sidenote, was Rumble pent up that much or why you thought he has so much in store=

Well, he was pent up from 2 days of being sexually teased without release, while around a fertile mare, plus the potion boosting his production...yeah, that made a lotta semen.

It was a hell of an impressive first showing from him, no doubt. More to 'cum' from him too yet. ;)

Well, I'm sure it's nothing bad they're planning...

Also, something I like to be known for is my details (sometimes to excess) on the naughty bits of my stories and believable or loyal-to-the-show characters. Glad this hit your detail quota. ;)


Well, sure beats the reason for the last time I was called a monster on here...

Thanks, glad you like my writing.




Well, it's kinda an easy one to make with a character named 'Rumble'.


Well, he was sexually teased for two days by a mare in heat and her sexy marefriend, as well as having a potion increase his quantity, so...yeah.


Yep, glad you like that aspect of his char. That's something the commissioner wanted was a very supportive brother in Thunderlane in this story.


Yeah, he's a pretty simple character. We dont know too much about him except he likes the Wonderbolts and wants to join them, really likes his brother, as well as wanting to be 'cool'.

Overall, easy char to mold a bit to one's needs.

*insert meme face here*

I know, right?

Oh, he will...and did!

Fleetfoot what have you done this time...

You foolish mare.

You got this, Rumble!

And Rainbow being Short, reminds me of a soarindash Comic

Your descriptions are so fucking good I can barely handle it.:heart:

Comment posted by Zakesteel deleted Apr 21st, 2020

Nicely done! Rumble deserved it! A true gentlecolt

is there going to be a nine months later kind of epilogue or something considering that the story still says incomplete?:applejackunsure:

Will there be more? Because it says it’a incomplete

The middle of this chapter is soo intense that i nearly died, so i punched myself in the face 3 times to get back with reality

"I didn't just mean having sex your first time, though damn was that a hell of a first showing! Two smokin' hot Wonderbolt mares at once? Damn, what other stallions would give for an opportunity like that . But, I didn’t mean just that. I meant that you got over your fears, and got to do something you really wanted to because you did," Thunder said, resting a hoof on Rumble's shoulder, "You stood out there in front of your co-workers, your idols , and you performed like a champ. That takes the heart of a Wonderbolt, and you're got one if I've ever seen it."

I am laughing and i am scared

This is pretty good. When are you going to finish?

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