Since the dawn of time, the two God-Empresses Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle have ruled side by side over all creation. Throughout the many trials and travails of their eternal lives, whatever they have done, they have done together.
So what does it mean when, for the first time in forever, one of them refuses to attend a private, annual celebration the two of them have always shared together? Sunset would sure like to know, because her wife has done just that. But in trying to understand her wife's absence, she may wind up dredging up unpleasant memories long buried...
Submission for Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Contest: Journeys.
Chapters (1)
This was a very interesting read. I liked it
Interesting depiction of Sunlight to say the least wouldn't mind seeing more of this universe
Ehhhhh....
9150407
Yeah, I know. I put it together over the course of three days, it's not as long as I thought it would be, and I'm sure it's nothing compared to the other contest entrants. I thought this would be an interesting experiment, though, and I enjoyed writing it.
As in, Smarch goes directly from the 20th to the 22nd.
Wow. That was a distinctly unusual story.
You did a good job scattering plentiful references to their divine power even once the story got going. The kind of world these two have built demonstrates something of their characters. For a while I was wondering whether they received Celestia and Luna's powers, but they're even more powerful than those two. And at the mention of their attendants being scantily-clad, I started wondering if they'd bother leaving any males in the world
Delightful twist at the end too. Never question Pinkie Pie
I'm almost surprised the banner didn't have "and happy impregnation day" on it as well... but perhaps Pinkie managed to exercise a tiny slice of restraint there 
Woah, playing fast and loose with those mind wipes.
9151219
They are virtually omnipotent beings. What are the measly minds of mortals to ones such as they?
9151118
And nobody even notices there's anything wrong with that.
9151205
What does it demonstrate, if I might ask?
I considered having them be 'successors' of sorts to this reality's Celestia and Luna, but didn't feel a need to put it in.
Certainly. They wouldn't want any unattractive people in heaven, after all.
The impregnation didn't happen until that night. Pinkie's eerily prescient, but she can't throw a party for something that hasn't happened yet.
9151475
Well, since you ask...
A few things, and not all of them good. The world is clearly at peace, prosperous and fertile. But if these two have reigned for 20 millennia, and Twilight is in the habit of conducting "experiments"... with the power they have, and the dedication to knowledge that (either) Twilight Sparkle has, it's surprising the world is at all recognisable. Twilight's experiments must have tended to the arcane and theoretical, rather than things that will liberate all their subjects from earthly needs and free them for creative work or scientific explorations. Why is there still an "untamed Everfree Forest" 20,000 years later? Clearly either of these two could tame it without too much effort. It must be deliberately preserved. They've clearly been very conservative about the culture and way of life in their world of "billions".
Likewise, the mere fact that Sunset notices the town (presumably Ponyville) is "relatively prosperous, the people happy and mostly content", implies that not all the towns in their realms are. Ponyville not only has merchants (people still need to buy stuff?), it still has beggars in it. Why? Why would Twilight Sparkle attain divine power and leave anyone unable to afford food?
There's also quite a lot of mentions of decadence, impatience, self-centredness on the part of these goddesses. Their servants have to be ready day and night for their slightest whim. Even their handmaiden Rarity is convinced she's going to be obliterated, which indicates that either that's something Sunset is in the habit of doing, or at least threatening to do. These are not the completely benevolent, self-giving friends to all one might expect: they demand complete obedience and are quite happy to expect a large number of servants to parade for their amusement.
I don't say this to nitpick! Merely thinking through some of the consequences of the intriguing setup you've got here
9151571
MORE than twenty millennia, actually, but you make some fair points. A point could be made that they can't be expected to do everything for their subjects themselves and want to leave them SOMETHING to do on their own so they can feel like their short insignificant lives have meaning, but it could also just be standard divine laziness. It could also be a lingering symptom of their continued grief over the loss of their daughter, they've been struggling to move on from her death, and the world hasn't progressed much either as a result. As above, so below and all that.
That is also a good point. Can an imperfect being create a world that is itself without flaws? As this story makes clear, neither of the goddesses are perfect. Also note that it's mentioned they often give away food and even the tiny portions are big enough to feed a poor family for at least a year. Why the emphasis on merchants, though?
Such is to be expected from most deities, regrettably. Even the more benign ones. Rarity was never going to be obliterated, though. Sunset rarely if ever does that. (Good help is hard to find, after all.) However, that doesn't mean one can't fear it. After all, Celestia is super-nice, and canon!Twilight knows that, but she's still even now desperately seeking her approval and terrified she'll banish or punish her for some slight. It's hard not to live and work for a nearly omnipotent being and worry you'll accidentally piss them off, even a relatively nice one.
Any other insights? Things that you feel should be addressed or amended? I enjoy this discussion.
Hee, we're getting onto pretty philosophical topics here :) I suppose anyone's imagination of the world 20,000 years down the line is going to say a lot about them. To me, assuming humanity hasn't almost wiped itself out a few times, I'd expect life 20,000 years later to be unrecognisable, incomprehensible, existing on a different plane. If people have access to a power (such as magic) that can cause plants to grow (as we see Twilight do by accident in this fic), it feels to me that something would have to be very wrong for there to still be scarcity after 100 years, let alone 1000, much less 20,000.
The thing is, to me, 1000 years is a really long time. The dominant world power on Earth has never lasted 1000 years. Nations rise, nations fall, after only a few hundred years. Technology accelerates, lifestyles change. People living at 500 AD would be shocked to see the way of life in 1500 AD; people living in 1500 wouldn't be able to comprehend the way of life in 2000 AD. Twenty millennia is... a really really long time. The only way civilisation should still be recognisable twenty thousand years later is if it's being ruled by a force deliberately trying to keep things from progressing.
Now there certainly can be interesting stories written about immensely powerful rulers deliberately trying to prevent progress. It would probably even be possible for them to come across as benign, though much harder. But the thing is, this is Twilight Sparkle. She has a love of learning and experimentation. She still performs experiments even as a semidivine immortal. (And I'm very glad to hear it because it'd be really OOC for her to stop.) How can her experiments not have led to utter transformation of civilisation after a few hundred years?
The mention of merchants isn't a big thing, just another illustration of the same point. In most utopian fiction I've read (and I think this is intended to be a utopia?), currency is a thing of the past, along with scarcity. It doesn't have to be that way, but it sticks out to me as a sign that this place has been stagnant for what the narrative tells me is a long, long time.
I'm not expecting them to have eliminated unhappiness or discontentment. That's a much harder task, human nature being what it is. Self-expression and self-actualisation will take rather different forms in a world actively ruled by supernaturally powerful beings, but I can believe there'll still be jealousy, strife and arguments, until all the sinful impulses in the human heart are wiped away (which is not something this fic shows the goddesses as capable of, quite wisely).
Maybe I'm just getting too hung up on the 20,000+ years thing. If you'd left it at 200 or even 500 years, I don't think I'd be reacting the same way. I could imagine Sunset & Twilight being sufficiently self-absorbed for a few decades that they might not get around to eliminating scarcity, even though that'd need Twilight to get quite distracted. But wow, they must have stayed really inward-looking during those two hundred centuries of grieving. I could believe that of many characters, but it's really hard to imagine it of a dedicated scientist like Twilight Sparkle.
A fascinating world, though I'm surprised the Empresses haven't had this talk before. I suppose it took something as outrageous as Twilight not attending the feast to break Sunset out of her divine rut.
As has been noted, these glorious goddesses definitely show some feet of clay, as does the society they've built around them. Still, as Pinkie demonstrates, there are forces even greater than the gods. They're doing the best they can, and if they got this far in twenty thousand years when starting with raw æther and quark-gluon plasma—not that there's much difference—they've done fairly well with themselves. (Assuming, of course, they really were working with the rawest of raw materials in the beginning.)
In all, a nice read. It felt a little rushed, but that's arguably a consequence of the contest format. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.
9151773
First of all, I am honored and privileged that you have read my story.
Second, you are correct, Twilight Sparkle being late/not attending something IS rather cause for alarm, isn't it?
And yes, I guess the two of them are doing the best they can. They could do better, but can't we all?
The funny thing is, I fully expected the story to be longer than it did. The conflict and resolution just turned out to be a lot shorter than I thought it would. Stories writing themselves and all that.
9151690
A very eloquent point. To which I only have one thing to say: I honestly never thought about it. Any of that. Let's be honest, most fantasy worlds stay fairly static for absurd lengths of time and I'm embarrassed to say it didn't occur to me that having Twilight in charge would change that. Guess that says something about my lack of imagination as a writer, doesn't it?
And no, this isn't a utopia. At least, I never intended for it to be. Not a dystopia either, it just...is, I guess? Is there actually a word for that?
When you put it that way, I guess over 20,000 years might be a bit too long. Hell, it's even longer than the Diamonds mourned the loss of Pink in Steven Universe. Is it worth changing anything, or should I leave it as is?
9152014
You make a fair point: this is clearly fantasy, not sci-fi, and in that context a civilisation can be expected (by genre convention) to stay static for a lot longer :) But if you're considering changing it, then I'd say yes, go down to 2000-some years rather than 20,000-some.
The other thing I thought might be a good edit, though it'd need a little ingenuity, would be a couple of throwaway mentions of things that Twilight designed (probably more magical than technological, though maybe a bit of both?) which have either made a beneficial difference to their society, or turned out to be unworkable no matter how many decades Twilight spent trying (or maybe one of each). The mentions can be small, but I think they'd still make a difference.
Best of luck with the contest!
9152242
Hmm. That's fair. Made a couple of tweaks, such as:
And:
I loved their talk and reconciliation. Very heartwarming. I really felt for Twilight.
Something quite different, and very entertaining.
I could say I'm very used to the way you pictured Sunset and Twilight.
I hope it wil be placed, it deserves it ;)
The bulk of that was honestly terrifying. c.c Well done.
9320994
Thanks! Terrifying in what way?
9321259
Just the sheer raw power these two possess, the danger they pose to mortals just by being in the same room as them. You did a terrific job getting that concept across!
9321617
Thanks! I really wanted to emphasize the feeling that these aren't just AU versions of Twilight and Sunset, but genuinely omnipotent beings who, even if relatively benevolent, are still pretty damn frightening.
Interesting AU you got here. You really make the two feel divine. The way they affect the mortals around them, the way they so casually use their power, and their human flaws in spite of all that, it gives a nice Ancient Greek vibe, all while not too radically diverging from their core characters. I'm impressed.
Felt odd that we didn't get to hear the name of their child, though. It felt like the story was building to a twist ending reveal, but it never happened. Well, not in that way, at least.
9587113
Didn't really have a name and I left her death ambiguous. What sort of twist were you expecting?
9587367
I'm honestly not sure. Perhaps some other canon character, but I can't think of any that would make much sense. It's just that the story kept dancing around saying the daughter's name. When Twilight was still brooding, that was just the narrative matching the feelings of the character, so I didn't think much of it. But when the story says Twilight said their daughter's name for the first time in centuries (which seems a fairly significant event), and yet still holds back the name from the reader, it makes it feel like a secret.
Not that any of this is a problem. Just an observation I had.
9587737
Maybe it should be a secret. Their daughter is a very sore spot between the two of them, and so it's only fitting that said name should only be mentioned in private as a sign of their reconciliation. More intimate that way.
9587876
Perhaps so.
This was both funny and poignant.
Well done!
Pinkie is the creator of all things, thats how she knew.