• Member Since 19th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Fluttercheer


Admin and official Story Scavenger of the Cutie Mark(ed) Crusaders group. If you need help with sorting a story into the group folders, send me a message! Once Quest writer for "Legends of Equestria".

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In the middle of Ponyville, there lived a filly called Brown Sugar. For the most part, Brown Sugar's life was good.
There were her friends, a group of foals who could hardly be more different, her daddy, who she loved more than any other pony in the world, a gigantic collection of toys, her love of mariachis and Wonderbolt stunts and a huge mansion all to herself! Brown Sugar could have been truly happy, but every filly had a wish and she was no exception.
There were wishes that were easy to fulfill, wishes that required some effort to be met and even wishes that made it necessary to bring a sacrifice if they should become true.
Normally, the wish for a loving and caring mother did not need to be fulfilled, it was something a filly had by default. Brown Sugar's life, however, was not normal and, one day, she realized that going the extra mile might be needed to make her wish become true.
Could a sacrifice bring her the mother she was wishing for so much?


Feature Box! 2018/17/05 (11 Hours and 56 Minutes), 2018/18/05 (49 Minutes)


The cover art was created by the fantastic, extraordinarily talented and overall just plain awesome Novel-Idea! Shower him in praise and bits for the stunning work he did!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 32 )

Good Lord. Her mom is a b***h

Could a sacrifice bring her the mother she was wishing for so much?

This had me thinking some Black Sacrament stuff was going to go down. Falling at a playground works too, I guess.

I don't really have much else I can say on this. It certainly wasn't bad, but nothing about it (plot, writing, characters, etc.) really stood out to me.

*Seriously, my vote is the first one?*

Painful story.. not sure for whom I felt more pain, for filly or for poor Pinkie who witnessed that display of "motherly love" or for mare who lost her soul. I am who *was* and to a degree I'm still there. More that two decades ago there was no Pinkie for me, I merely learned how to emulate her (or,may be, Doctor Who?)

This was good. It could probably be expanded.
....

SE-QUEL! SE-QUEL! SE-QUEL! SE-QUEL!

Well done, a few spelling spots aside, it held together very nicely. Keep writting and making the dream. Bittersweet beauty my man.

8930493
yeah, that illustrates me yesterday :raritydespair:
Also, how it can be.. today is May, 17. It was published on 15th of May, 10 hours ago according to timestamps. *casts steam out of ears from brain shortcircuit*

8929998

She is. Peanut Pastry can definitely rival Spoiled Rich in this regards. Thank you for reading!

8930074

This had me thinking some Black Sacrament stuff was going to go down. Falling at a playground works too, I guess.

The fic is tagged "Dark", but it's not quite as dark as that. Thank you for reading nonetheless, I hope you could take something away from it that you enjoy!^^

8930114

I suppose one can feel pain for all three of them; for Pinkie because she witnessed, for Brown Sugar because she has to endure and for Peanut Pastry..... because she has no heart in her chest? The future is currently a bit unclear for these three ponies, but there definitely is one.
Thank you so much for reading, favouriting and following! I can see how this fic touches you and that it made you connecting it with your past shows me that I did something right here.

8931017
Rival?? No. She surpasses Spoiled much more!! At least Spoiled takes care of her daughter!! Peanut Pastry don't care!!!!!

I wanted to reach through the screen and strangle her so much. I actually cried out loud, "SHe's horrible!!!"

8930154
8930493

SE-QUEL! SE-QUEL! SE-QUEL! SE-QUEL!

You are the first one who yells at me to write a sequel. :scootangel: I got questions about sequels for two previous fics of mine, as well, but this is now the first time I get cheered on to write one. Also, first time I got a reaction image asking for a sequel under one of my stories. Thanks for that to both of you!^^
I have in mind to continue this. The idea is to turn fics for Brown Sugar into an anthology universe, where I shed light on different aspects of her life in each story, which will involve each of her friends and of course Pinkie Pie and her mother Peanut Pastry too.
When the next installment for Brown Sugar will happen depends a bit on what I decide to write a sequel for first. For the near future, I have already four other projects in the pipeline, one of which the start of a multi-chapter fic, and then I have three potential candidates for sequels; the two fics mentioned above and Brown Sugar's anthology.
So, it is a little bit "up in the air" what sequel I will write first, but one thing is guaranteed, you are going to read more about Brown Sugar from me in the future. :twilightsmile:

8930207

Thank you for reading and favouriting! Don't you worry about me keeping to write, pony words are my life and nothing short of the apocalypse could make me stop writing. :raritywink:
Spelling problems will be gradually fixed, as well, thank you for the inspirational words!

8930767

Also, how it can be.. today is May, 17. It was published on 15th of May, 10 hours ago according to timestamps. *casts steam out of ears from brain shortcircuit*

And about this, I published "Wish for a Mother" yesterday, but already put it online on Tuesday, to prepare the release and hype it up a little more before making it public. :raritywink:

8931030

Does Spoiled Rich care for Diamond Tiara? From what we've seen, it's more butlers and maids who raise Diamond Tiara and are responsible for it that she doesn't starve.
But one thing is definitely right, the line is a thin one between Spoiled Rich and Peanut Pastry in regards to who is the more horrible mother.
Maybe I can include Spoiled Rich in the universe I have planned for Brown Sugar one day, for a death battle between her and Peanut Pastry to decide who is more horrible. :raritywink:

8931085

Thank you for the follow! :scootangel: :heart:

8931088
She does care. SHe just wants her to be exactly like her.

Wonderful work! I guess Dinky could mnake a good friend for her. And her mother is worse than spoiled rich but I can tell PInkie would make a good serrogate mother. Or it's the depression her mother tries to deal with it. It breaks my heart though how Brown Sugar has to deal with that.

8931424

I waited for you to arrive.^^ I'm glad you like this story as well and thank you for the favourite!

Wonderful work! I guess Dinky could mnake a good friend for her.

Because of her experiences with Millie? Or do you see another reason why Dinky and Brown Sugar would be good friends?

8931435
I had read this sooner but with 16.000 words, my break on work and battery of my phone had not been enough for that. And Dinky, a little of Mille and in general I guess.

My only question is why would the mother have custody of Brown Sugar while the father was said to have cared for her?

8931448

So it seems I finally wrote something long enough to break you with your fast reading tempo. :derpytongue2:

8931561

Excellent question! And I actually asked myself rather often during writing why Brown Sugar's mother even wants to have her in her care, even though she clearly isn't interested in the responsibility of raising a foal.
I can't answer you this question now, as the answer lies in the future, but it will come in due time.
Thank you for reading!

I really like this, and I really want to see more!
Great hour and change spent reading today!
Sequels planned? Cuz this is kinda open ended.
:twilightsmile:

8931804

Thank you for the praising words and the favourite, I'm glad you liked it and you make Brown Sugar very happy with that! :heart:
Sequels are planned plenty:

8931076

I have in mind to continue this. The idea is to turn fics for Brown Sugar into an anthology universe, where I shed light on different aspects of her life in each story, which will involve each of her friends and of course Pinkie Pie and her mother Peanut Pastry too.
When the next installment for Brown Sugar will happen depends a bit on what I decide to write a sequel for first. For the near future, I have already four other projects in the pipeline, one of which the start of a multi-chapter fic, and then I have three potential candidates for sequels; the two fics mentioned above and Brown Sugar's anthology.
So, it is a little bit "up in the air" what sequel I will write first, but one thing is guaranteed, you are going to read more about Brown Sugar from me in the future. :twilightsmile:

It will be a while until the next installment, but you can definitely look forward to treats here. :twilightsmile:

8931639
If it hadn't been for the Time and Battery, i would have Read it fast anyway. Like i did on the pc Yesterday

My god her mother is horrible! Something tells me she only wants custody of Brown Sugar so she can receive child support checks. I hope Pinkie is able to tell the father about this situation so he can fight for custody. At least from what we've seen, he actually cares about his daughter.

Loved the story! Would’ve been a bit better as separate chapters instead one but overall I liked it. I wish we got to know her father more but sadly I understand he isn’t allowed to see her... I wonder if he’ll fall in love with Pinkie? 🤔

8932343

He cares a lot. Brown Sugar is his little sunshine and princess and if she would live with him, life would look a lot brighter for her. How well fighting for custody would go, though, is something that remains to be seen.....
Thank you for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :scootangel:

8932440

Falling in love with Pinkie? This does sound like one of those short 13-episode romance anime where a guy and a girl crush on each other over a child that needs care. xD It's not the direction I wanna go with the planned anthology, that's something I can tell already, but thanks for the input.^^ And he will make an appearance in one of the following fics eventually. :raritywink:
I was also thinking about splitting it into chapters a few times during writing, but ultimately decided against it cause I think it flows nicely as a long one-shot and the individual chapters would have made it feel underwhelming.
I'm glad you liked the story anyway, thank you for reading and for the favourite, you made Brown Sugar very happy with this. :heart:

I wonder if he’ll fall in love with Pinkie? 🤔

And, on a sidenote, I want to make you aware of the emoji ban I have in effect here on my account:

https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/741153/the-changes-no-one-wants-part-2-emojis-and-their-usage-under-my-fics-blog-entries-userpage

The reasons for it are detailed at the bottom. I won't deal with this harshly now, cause you likely didn't even know that's a thing as it was quite some time ago since I spoke out this ban, so I answered on your comment anyway.
But please remove the emoji from your comment, they don't have a place on my account. :twilightsmile:
If you want to replace it, I suggest Rainbow Dash's semi-pondering expression here: :rainbowhuh:

8932738

Alright, sorry I didn’t that emoji are ban. Next time I’ll be just be using the ponies :pinkiehappy:

Cool, can’t wait for more stories!

8932877

It's okay and thank you for your understanding. :twilightsmile:

I liked it, but I kind of thought Pinkie would talk to Twilight or someone else that could decide if Brown Sugars Mother is even fit to take care of her.
I also somehow expected a slightly different or stronger reaction from the filly, but it was already really good. I want an adoption to happen or something, somehow I love to read about ponies in this chase, trying to get better when they are at their lowest. (I mean emotionally wise)

Texus #29 · 1 week ago · · ·

8932738
I'm glad that isn't going to happen, while it maybe a good reason?, I usually don't really like those to fast romances. I get the feeling it would also look a bit weird if it just happens because of the child or it would look unnaturally how fast they fall in love. I'm not sure how to say it, but I get the feeling that anime chliche (like you mentioned) would not fit in very well here.

However I completely forgot about her father here.

I maybe said it already, but I would really like a sequel.
However please don't rush it just because I and probably a few others can't wait, it will only turn out bad then.

8934779

Hi there and thanks for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed the start of Brown Sugar's tale here. :twilightsmile:

I liked it, but I kind of thought Pinkie would talk to Twilight or someone else that could decide if Brown Sugars Mother is even fit to take care of her.

The exact reason why Brown Sugar lives with her mother is currently unclear. But what is clear is that her mother has already pulled all the necessary strings to ensure that Brown Sugar will stay with her, that's as much as I can tell already.

I usually don't really like those to fast romances. I get the feeling it would also look a bit weird if it just happens because of the child or it would look unnaturally how fast they fall in love.

Exactly, that's why I don't wanna go for that here. It would feel cliched and sappy, a romance so unrealistic and saccharine that it would hurt.
Just one of the many fails of modern day anime.

I maybe said it already, but I would really like a sequel.
However please don't rush it just because I and probably a few others can't wait, it will only turn out bad then.

Don't worry, I'm not one for rushing fics. I did that once, last year, with the intent to make the chapters shorter in hopes that more will read it then as it was a fic that lay bare and abandonded for a long time, but it backfired badly.
So, this is not something I'll be doing again, sacrificing quality to attract more readers. A mistake I definitely learned from the hard way.
There is a little anxiety that the first sequel won't get as much attention as I hope for, but I have a backlog of four other projects I'm behind on quite a lot, so I will have to have faith that the interest will still be there in a few months.

This was a very heartwarming story that kept my eyes glued to the screen the whole way through. This is the kind of story that deserves a sequel, yet wouldn't be terrible if it never received one. My reason for saying as such is that the story already feels complete in its own right and leaves me wondering about the filly's future in the most satisfying way and I fear a sequel may ruin this feeling. Of course, I would still love a sequel, even if it ruins that magical pondering; after all, most of the time I'd take knowing over pondering.

In conclusion, this story gets a Motherly Pinkie Pie out of ten.

8938110

My reason for saying as such is that the story already feels complete in its own right and leaves me wondering about the filly's future in the most satisfying way

And this is exactly what I was going for and I'm happy it worked out like that! :pinkiehappy: And don't worry, you will keep the pondering feeling for a while before I will write the first sequel for this story. And probably for even longer than that, I'm not in a rush with revealing things.^^
Here I talked a bit about when you can roughly expect the first sequel:

https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/811755/wish-for-a-mother-brown-sugars-awesome-achievements-sequels-in-the-future

Thank you for reading and for enjoying it! :heart:

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