• Member Since 14th Jan, 2017
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I like cats and ponies cuz they are fluffy! Come and talk if you want, I won't bite.



It all started with a simple question. A simple, innocent question. Who could have guessed that it would lead to uncovering one of the deepest, darkest secrets in Equestria? Certainly not Pinkie, who must now face the ramifications of her curiosity, due to a question better left unanswered.

Why do we only speak Equestrian?


Edited by lordelliott
Featured 5.12.2017

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 43 )

Glorious. Up voted.

I can't like or upvote anything because my fimfiction is broken so I just favourite'd instead


Very nice.

It would be funny if Starswirld called Celestia and Luna Spör and Blerb.

Some things would happen, that's for sure

Sequel: "That time Canterlot was destroyed and rebuild" :derpytongue2:

...The most worrying thing here is that Celestia keeps fuzzy fun time hoof cuffs that match the Mane Six's colors just lying around.

8591620 Ah, but they didn't rebuild it, and that is why there's a ruined castle in the middle of the forest.

This was a nice read. :)

...... this was........ wat...... what was this?

I don't know. :rainbowlaugh: Maybe it's my craziness manifesting itself as words. :pinkiecrazy:


Aah, I see. :trollestia:

No but for real had this been a real conspiracy cover up story? This'd be a good one.

"Why do we all speak Equestrian?"

"Nopony tried to build a Tower of Babel here, so Pony God had no need to smite us."

"Ohhhhhhhh! That makes sense!"


“Isn’t it strange? We have met Griffons, Minotaurs, Yaks, Dragons, Buffalo, Breezies,

Actually, Breezies DID speak their own language. Only Seabreeze could speak 'Equish' competently, and he learned it from ponies.

Dang, that's right! I forgot that's how it went. :derpyderp1: And I think the reason for that is because Fluttershy converse with them normally, since she can understand them just fine. Well spotted. :twilightblush:

8592217 I am a terror when it comes to details.

You should have seen the treatise I did during one discussion on why the Eagles could not have safely taken the One Ring to Orodruin in Mordor.

And then Mattpatt made the same points on his Filmtheory series last week! Of course, he also went into the Silmarillion and the REALLY deep lore of Middle Earth, while I just stuck arguments I could construct from the novels most people would be familiar with.

It was okay.
Author's note really helped me to understand a lot.

Best author's notes I have ever written.

I think I didn't spot that because I remember them more from this:


I will admit, I was a little worried when I saw that Horror tag, but I am definitely glad I took the time to read this story. It was a lot of fun, portraying the cheerful and irreverent Celestia that we all like to see. Good show.

“Yes. For you shall face…”

Pinkie was sweating profusely as she went cross-eyed when Celestia brought one of the objects in front of her.

“...the tickle.”


Every time I thought I had it figured out where this story was going to go, it swerved the other way. :trollestia:

Wonder what would happen if dash asked. You know she couldn't keep her nose out of it after seeing Pinkie in that state. :twilightsmile:

A second chapter was in the plannings, but we deemed it too naughty for any mortal to comprehend and not suffer some naughtiness related side effect, so it is not happening in the near future. :derpytongue2:

What do you mean by... “we”?

Me and another person? :rainbowhuh: Technically it was just me who decided that, but anyway. :rainbowkiss:

So, Who is the other... “person”?

I'll let you puzzle that one out for yourself. :raritywink:

Yes. Yes, you did. I almost said something, but decided to let the joke ride. :ajsmug:

He has multiple personalities, obviously. :derpytongue2:

*Starts puzzling*

Ah! Okay.

May I talk to Other TrixterCat?

You are allowed to try. Results are not guaranteed.

Hello? Other Trixter? Are you there?



*Takes deep breath*











*Pulls out megaphone*





Technically, the Hippogryphs DID leave. They hid underwater. They claim it's because of the Storm King, but we can pretend Celestia did it. She was just desperate enough in the movie to ask the others to find them, even if it meant having those ridiculous names back. I can imagine Princess Skystar totally giving Celestia a silly name and thinking it's awesome.

Heh, that could work. :moustache:

I started writing this before I knew of the Hippogryph in the movie, and I was too lazy to start changing anything afterwards, so there.:derpytongue2:

Actually, it makes a LOT of sense in the context of the movie.

1. The Hippogryphs lived above surface and only hid underwater when the Storm King came.
2. They lived on an island across the sea from Badlands, which is consistent with them leaving said badlands by sail.
3. Celestia told to find Hippogryphs when she realized that Storm King took over all of Equestria and its surroundings. Why did she even think that Hippogryphs weren't attacked yet, hm? Maybe because she knew that they sailed far enough off the continent that no one heard of them lately, thus Storm King probably didn't even know about them?
4. Why nopony heard of them lately, by the way? There was some info on them in a book out in the badlands, but nowhere in Equestria. Touchy subject, maybe?
5. And why "Go south beyond the Badlands!" was the most precise directions Celestia managed to give? Maybe she was short on time. Or maybe she didn't even know anything more?
6. Celestia was telling Luna where to search for Hippogryphs, meaning she didn't know. Which means that they probably moved some time after the Nightmare Moon incident...
7. The Queen of Hippogryphs wasn't too eager to save ponies, was she? I wonder why...

All in all, I think you've busted Hasbro's conspiracy!!!

“Yes. For you shall face…”

Death?? Destruction?? Untold amounts of pain?? *horrified gasp*

“...the tickle.”

*deadpan*Oh...*eyes widen* Wait...the TICKLE?!

Nooooo!!! Not that!!!! Anything but that!!!! Pinkie Pie, I am so sorry for the torture you are about to endure!!! :pinkiesad2::fluttercry::applecry::raritydespair::twilightoops:

This was the most hilarious tale ever!!! Lol! Loved every second...including the moment I was positive Celestia was going to blast her tto the moon or some horrible thing like that.

But seriously? The tickle??

That's just major level cruel, dude. Major level cruel.:pinkiegasp::rainbowlaugh:

This was just plumb funny.

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