• Member Since 8th Nov, 2017
  • offline last seen January 28th

Shimmer_Bolt


To write is to create entire universes. You are a god. But will you be a kind god or a cruel god? Unfortunately, many are cruel, simply to entertain other gods.

Comments ( 276 )

Well, that sounds pretty good for your first story. You have my like.

I can already tell he will be in good hooves. I doubt his father would have a chance against big mac

Awesome start of a story can't wait for the next chapter.:twilightsmile:

I'm looking forward to see how this story goes

I can fell the Love train coming sister/mother love that is can't wait for more.

8548860
Thank you!~<3
Honestly, I hate my own work, but what person doesn't do that?

8548910
At least you're confident! People need to be confident nowadays!~

"P-Please don't!" a feminine voice cried. It was familiar to Dylan. His mother had burnt burnt the food again. A slap could clearly be heard from the kitchen.

Double word.

he felt guilty for not be able to do anything for her. 
*being

He worked as hard as he could, making sure he didn't a single chore unfinished.
*leave a single chore

It was bliss for him, to keep him mind busy and free of his father.
*his

Part with... Nightmare, I guess... feels forced? Kinda like "obligated" fic conflict.
And "Amber Harvest"... Any connection to Golden Harvest/Carrot Top?

8549121
Thank you~<3 I'll be sure to fix that later tonight~<3

8549172
There are others, but I didn't wanna just concentrate on spelling. I have to agree with Comnislasher, the dream realm dude could use a little more development, probably not now but later on. Sounds almost like the tantabus to be honest.

I think you started out pretty well in your first chapter it made me interested enough to want to see the next chapter and that is pretty good, you wanna make a good first impression.

The rest of the story feels bare to me like I am only getting crumbs of what could be a delicious meal,
It feels like I don't really know these characters or there relationships to each other that well and that makes it hard to really care for them and get invested further,

the moments characters have together or even given to themselves and their thoughts are too short and very bare on description for me.

The time you did the two week time skip felt like missed potential to develop some of the relationships between Dylan and apple family and get a feel of Dylan as a character from how he deals with being in a new world with ponies,having an injury, being taken care of and treated nice and so on.

But I hope you take this comment positively,
I got this story on my bookmarks to wait for the next chapter so I hope to see some good stuff from you in the future.

8549745
Thank you~<3 I will attempt to give the characters more quality time~<3

I have to say I love this story and i hope you keep on going!

And que Discord breaking the forth wall.

Excuse me....

Discord..... first thanks for. Taking Dylan away from hell.

Second.

DON'T YOU EVEN FUCKING DARE ON RUINING IT FOR HIM. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOU WERE IN HIS POSITION GROWING UP?! HUH?!

8551703
Lol he won't. He only did it to get a new dance partner. :p

8551708
He is really stupid. I'm gonna go get Fluttershy

THis poor boy really has been through hell. But don't worry Dylan, the Apple Family takes good care of you!

You can really be proud of yourself, Dylan.

That makes me wonder if he had a love interest on Earth.

That's right, Dylan, they are your family now. Enjoy it.

Wow this chapter hit me in the feels

Meanwhile in Dylans realm.....

*Dylans pa notices a old muscle car waiting idly outside *

(Grabs his Pa from behind) Not on my watch.

so is this going to be a human turned pony story?

8556138
No butI do like that car and Supernatural

8556261
Don't worry~. 'Tis just a dream.

I'd rek his pa ass for him. Stay a way drom pony Dylan.

It's okay, everyone has such moments.

I wonder, who is the love interest for him?

8559680
YIKES! You want me to reveal his love interest so soon?~ ;) Don't worry, you'll see her again in a few chapters.

8559699
Great! Well, all i want to know is if she is a grown mare or not, and what type of pony she is?

8559704
By the time Dylan grows up, she'll also be a grown mare. She's also a country pony. You HAVE seen her before though, but only briefly.

So...this isn't a crossover of Where The Red Fern Grows?

A young human boy is caught in a storm and finds himself in Sweet Apple Acres. Born with an abusive father, he struggles to understand what it really means to have a family.

I doubt "having an abusive parent" = not understanding what family is. Also, wouldn't adopting a human who has parents and is a US citizen illegal as he already has parents?

8561973
Illegal here, but we really don't know about over there. Also, it's a story. Just kick back and read~.

i think i read something simlur i just hope the human isnt a gary stue

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