Love is in the air~

8547593
Yes, indeed~<3

Neat

Wow. NIce story.

8548860
Thank you!~<3
Honestly, I hate my own work, but what person doesn't do that?

8548903
Ehh. Me. I don't hate my work.

8548910
At least you're confident! People need to be confident nowadays!~

8548913
Yeah. IM also an optimist

8548914
That's great!~

Part with... Nightmare, I guess... feels forced? Kinda like "obligated" fic conflict.
And "Amber Harvest"... Any connection to Golden Harvest/Carrot Top?

8549172
There are others, but I didn't wanna just concentrate on spelling. I have to agree with Comnislasher, the dream realm dude could use a little more development, probably not now but later on. Sounds almost like the tantabus to be honest.

8549231
>_> Shhhh....

I think you started out pretty well in your first chapter it made me interested enough to want to see the next chapter and that is pretty good, you wanna make a good first impression.

The rest of the story feels bare to me like I am only getting crumbs of what could be a delicious meal,
It feels like I don't really know these characters or there relationships to each other that well and that makes it hard to really care for them and get invested further,

the moments characters have together or even given to themselves and their thoughts are too short and very bare on description for me.

The time you did the two week time skip felt like missed potential to develop some of the relationships between Dylan and apple family and get a feel of Dylan as a character from how he deals with being in a new world with ponies,having an injury, being taken care of and treated nice and so on.

But I hope you take this comment positively,
I got this story on my bookmarks to wait for the next chapter so I hope to see some good stuff from you in the future.

8549745
Thank you~<3 I will attempt to give the characters more quality time~<3

I have to say I love this story and i hope you keep on going!

That makes me wonder if he had a love interest on Earth.

Dylan just looked down at his feet. "I umm... Well, this is gonna be the first time I see other ponies besides you guys. What if they don't like me? What if they call me a freak?"

That's maybe an understandable reaction, but as soon as the characters say those exact words "what if they think I'm a FREAK?, it sounds really wimpy to me, somehow bad.

He was just about to walk over to Applejack and help when we noticed... her. Peach colored fur with a bright orange curly mane, and bright blue eyes. She had a brown leaf as her cutie mark. Dylan felt his heart skip a beat. What was this feeling inside of him? Surely he couldn't be having THOSE kind of feelings for a PONY. He shook his head and tried to clear of mind of the emotion.

Not a fan of love at first sight stuff in most chases, maybe this time, because he has such a bad past, so many emotions that go full power (bad or good feelings like his love here), that he seems a bit....
I image him somewhere between chliche and Mary sue or how it's called.

As she walked away, he looked over to Applejack, who gave him an odd look. But, seeing nothing else amiss, she gave him a smile and went back to work.

Okay at least he hasn't made an idiot out of himself like it usually happens and Applejack didn't gave him that cursed "knowing grin/look". This looks like a more normal reaction, I mean why should they always assume right away that the main char is in love and that even with every kind of peronalities.
There are just some personalities like his where you could just say either he is just like that or he is just nervous, something like that.

8549758
you should maybe think about rewriting it a bit before it get's to big, You could fit some "quality time" in those chapters I think. I like his description about it a bit more than mine, about the missing descriptions or "getting to know each other" moments.

"I can feel something in the creature's heart... It's too much of a threat to let it be..."

Luna don’t do anything your going to regret. 😡

The Apple family all unloaded the crates from the old wagon and opened them up, revealing clear glass bottles of apple cider. Applejack was being particularly fast to unload them. "Hurry up, family! We gotta get this shipment sold before Rainbow Dash finds out we're here! Last time she saw us here she nearly cleaned out the entire stock!"

More proof that Rainbow Dash is an alcoholic