Put the words in the bag and nopony gets hurt
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The Life of a Wonderbolt can be daring, demanding and dangerous. And yet, even the most elite flyers of Equestria are ponies, in the end.
Spitfire, like the rest of her team, knows that fact only too well. She knows that a Wonderbolt has to not only cope with stress, but with a certain set of routines, as well.
The proud Captain of the Wonderbolts wakes up to just another day of work. There’s nothing she’d rather do.
Edited by Samey90. Thanks a ton for the help, bud!
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Nice job on a sweet simple slice of life story. I liked the writing a lot as well and none of the characters felt out of character. Nice job :)
8481830
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed!
A couple of things - it mentions Spitfire having a short mane which is easy to maintain while she's shampooing it, but doesn't mention her tail until she's blow-drying. I'd have thought she'd shampoo that too, and there's enough tail hair there to need more maintenance than the average human's hair at least?
Also I think you mention her mug saying 'Best Captain Ever' twice?
8481916
I suppose you’re right, though her tail and mane both are relatively short for what ponies usually seem to have, hence why I wrote it like that.
And thanks, I didn’t even spot that repetition, nor did my three editors, apparently, haha.
This story was kind of in the middle ground for me. I appreciated it more than enjoyed it, and I don't think it was badly written
I am a massive fan of Spitfire, and mostly read slice of life.
At the same time, it didn't really seem to go anywhere. Even a snapshot of a normal day of somepony's life can be structured so that the narrative comes to a resolution, which for me didn't really happen here.
Also, while I don't think it was out of character, the lead didn't leap off the page at me as Spitfire. Again, she didn't feel wrong, but wasn't much different in character to Soarin or Rainbow. I think you could have changed the faces and setting and made her Principal Celestia just as easily. So I'd have liked to see a bit more that's specific to her. But that's me
I haven't upvoted or downvoted, but thanks for writing this, we need more Spitfire in our lives.
Short and to the point. Not exiting, but meaningful nonetheless. The idea of chosen family hits warmly close to home too. Idiosyncrasies and all that feel real and natural (the hole in the shower curtain is a procrastination that I'm sure has been done many times).
A nice read yo, I'll check out more when the time presents itself to me. gg
8482319
Thanks! Glad you liked it!
8482001
Well put! I was thinking much the same thing... in fact almost exactly the same thing.
I love Spitfire and the 'Bolts but it didn't feel like her, her personality didn't come through.
And I'm sorry to the author, but I found it boring. I was hoping for some little plotline, something happens, even in a SoL fic.
I didn't up or downvote either- it's not bad per say, it's just... it's like oatmeal, ya know?
Just read the first chapter will read more later, as I have to get ready to leave for a paper route but overall it's a simple slice of life tale from what I'm seeing and sometimes you appreciate the simple stories when so many go for the more complicated and complex. Nice to have a normal story with an extraordinary Pegasus. Good work!
8481923
Huh, i thought you did it for effect. Or to say how much she valued it or something.
The story itself is interesting, and really pulls me into the role of Spitfire, I personally thought it was charmingly simple. Like a bedtime story but without the brave knights or fearsome dragons...
Wow.
I really like the story
8483464
That’s basically what I was going for, yeah. As the title and description says, this really is just an ordinary day. No special occasion, nothing people would call “exciting”. It’s just a normal day, hence the name.
Well done, good read, enjoyed it.
The simplisity of this story is very relaxing
8485467
It aims to be!
8485583
Well good job then!!