Of Lies and Liberty
Celestia stood in the tower overlooking Canterlot, and wondered where it had all gone wrong. Luna's betrayal had been perfection in its execution, and if Celestia could not salvage the situation, that betrayal would be her damnation. Everything she had worked so hard for had been put in jeopardy, and the only way she could save her ponies from themselves was if she acted boldly. The speech she was about to make could very well change the path of Equestria forever. A sea of ponies stretched below, the gates of the castle having been thrown wide in order to accommodate as many common ponies as possible. A gesture of goodwill that hopefully went some small way to repairing the damage caused by Twilight Sparkle's revelation.
Cadance stood by her side, the right side of her face bandaged, she having been treated for burns two days ago, after Celestia and the Guards had located her and managed to get her off of the wall. The Princess of Love had been considered beautiful once, and indeed there were many among the populace who followed her every move closely. Twilight's words had been proved true, and every attempt to heal the wound had resulted in searing agony for the young Alicorn. Celestia knew that so long as Twilight lived, she would bear that mark for the world to see. She looked at Celestia fearfully, as the crowd below roared in anger.
Celestia smiled. "Don't worry, Cadance. Just do as I say, and we shall all be fine."
Cadance nodded, and focused her magic, sending out feelings of trust and malleability to the gathered populace. Her face screwed up in pain as she broadcast for not just Canterlot but for Manehatten and Detrot and Cloudsdale and every city in Equestria. She nodded tersely. It was time.
Celestia walked to the double doors separating herself from the balcony, and then did something Cadance had never seen the monarch do. Celestia gently removed her crown, her horseshoes, and her girdle. Completely unclothed, she stepped out onto the balcony. The crowd below stood in shocked silence as Princess Celestia, the ruler of Equestria, stood before them as a common pony. When she spoke, her voice did not ring with its characteristic command, it did not inspire awe or fear. What it was, in both tone and function, was relatable on some level, the voice of a mare who had done wrong and wanted to acknowledge it. Several microphones rose from the podium, their signal being transmitted across Equestria, using the relatively new technology of radio. Celestia's speech would go down as one of the most memorable of Equestria's public addresses.
________________________________________
"Citizens of Equestria, I come before you today, not as a ruler, not as a goddess, but as one of you. A pony. I come before you today as one whose right to rule had been questioned, and rightfully so. By now, Twilight Sparkle's accusations against me have undoubtedly spread, from Fillydelphia in the north to Los Pegasus in the south to Manehatten and everywhere in between. The accusations she has leveled are as follows. That I, Celestia Aetheria ex Equestria, Dio Solaris, have used my power to manipulate the lives of my subjects. That I, knowingly and willingly, have woven powerful bloodlines with the goal of creating new Alicorns in order to solidify my rule on Equestria. That these bloodlines, after producing the Alicorn heir I desired, would go extinct, killing the mare who bore her.
There are others, but those are Twilight Sparkle's primary grievances against me. Her claim is that she is the one destined to bear the last Alicorn, and so lose her life in the process. She accuses me of being no less than a tyrant, one who cares for nothing other than her own goals.
Regretfully, I must inform you all that all but that last accusation are true."
There was a murderous rumble from the crowd, which soon quieted as Celestia spoke once more.
"For eight hundred years, since mighty Canterlot herself rose to her mountain heights, I have labored in secret to ensure the stability and growth of Equestria, at the cost of all else. Many of the great thinkers, artists, and scientists produced since I ascended to the Solar Throne are the result of successful pairings between ponies of desirable qualities. I do not pretend omnipotence, for the most part my only role has been that of a gentle nudge in the right direction. Things like strength or intelligence have a part in my decisions, yes. But I have also placed the happiness of my subjects above all else. Never has a relationship I have taken a direct hoof in ended poorly, in the hundreds of years I have perfected my work. Families, strong and loving families, have ranged across Equestria far and wide, their newfound strength and skill ensuring that they not only survive, but thrive. Because of my actions, ponies live long, happy lives, largely free from adversity. My path is one of safety and happiness, regardless of what others may say.
It is true that I sought to create a fourth Alicorn, one to rule opposite to the Princess Mi Amore di Cadenza Allegretta, the Dawn Alicorn. It is true that this Alicorn would take up the mantle of Dusk, as well as ruling over Inspiration. It is also true that Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student, was the one born to bear her. And as much as it hurts to admit it, the foal would have claimed my student's life. Much as I wish it could be otherwise, there is nothing I could do to prevent it."
The Alicorn was silent for a moment, her grief apparently too much for her. The ponies below, faced with this uncharacteristic display of emotion, were spellbound, hanging on every word. She spoke again, her voice low and rough.
"It is abhorrent to me, that I must curse one of my own subjects, a unicorn I hold dear not just as a student but very nearly as the daughter I could never have, to bear such a burden, to experience so much pain. From the moment I took this unicorn, the savior of Equestria, on as my student, I realized that what I had planned would cause her more pain and anguish than I had any right to bestow upon her, though I was forced to do so nevertheless. I watched her grow into a fine young mare, devastatingly intelligent, kind to a fault, a pony I was proud to call my student. She, as well as the Elements of Harmony, acted as Equestria's protectors, giving me back my sister and sealing the mad god Discord into stone once more. Truly, I could not have been more proud of her. At last, when it came time for Twilight's true purpose to be served, I found the best match I could. A fine young colt, by the name of Morning Star. The two of them became fast friends, and before long they had blossomed into something more. I took solace in the fact that she would at least be happy.
In retrospect, I should have asked my student for her permission or forgiveness, but I could not bring myself to do so. My once-faithful student, naturally curious, found out about her purpose from various sources, not all of them savory. Hurt and betrayed, she opened herself to dark and terrible magic, renouncing me, her Element, her friends, her country, and Harmony itself. The rest you are all aware of."
The Alicorn's voice gained in strength, ringing across the crowded courtyard below.
"There are those among you who may feel that this is justified, that I deserve whatever fate comes to me. I understand. However, I can tell you this. Twilight Sparkle's child would have brought everlasting peace and Harmony, not just to Equestria, but the world. No more would we worry about disease or starvation or poverty, no more would we fight for land with the Gryphons or buffalo Tribes. Our world would know peace as never before. It is for this reason I sent the Elements to pursue her, to show her that her sacrifice was for the good of all of existence. I thought she had seen. But she had not. Though she had convinced me of her newfound devotion to Harmony, in truth it was deceit and trickery she sought to practice. Stealing the magic of my sister, who even now lies near death, she attacked me and her friends once more, before stealing the Element of Magic and vanishing into regions unknown. Twilight Sparkle refuses to let go of her anger, even at the cost of her fellow Equestrians. I call upon her now, as a pony, to do her duty to her world, and return to Canterlot.
My fellow Equestrians, I can offer you a Golden Age without end! Equestria as a paradise, where not a single pony will ever be unhappy. Never have I led you astray, never have I ever had anything but your best interests in mind. I care for you all more than you can imagine, and together we can ensure a new world, a better world, one truly inhabited by Harmony. All I ask in return is your continued Loyalty. Don't let your friends and family stray from our path. I ask for Honesty. If you know of the whereabouts of Twilight Sparkle, let somepony know. Show Kindness by remaining helpful and productive as we work to find her. Show Generosity, give as much as you can spare to help your fellow Equestrians in their search. And don't forget to embody Laughter. Remain cheerful. Don't let this disrupt your daily routine.
My fellow Equestrians, the times ahead will be trying for us all, of this there can be no doubt. But I beg of you, show the best side of yourselves. Stand with me as we work together to forge a better world. Thank you."
________________________________________
Celestia stepped back from the podium, and looked at the crowd below. There was only silence, the ponies staring up at her, judging her. Celestia's heart sank. She had failed. A single hoofbeat echoed off of the walls of the castle. Princess Celestia's ears pricked up. There was another. Then another. Then two, then ten, then fifty, and then suddenly the crowd of ponies below were screaming and shouting, cheering their Princess on as she smiled, and bowed to them all before retreating back inside. Her speech was even now being broadcast across Equestria. And while she had no idea if the same reaction was being had in other cities, suddenly her future looked much brighter.
Cadance stepped forward. "That was a work of art, Princess. Well done."
Celestia smiled. "Thank you, Cadance. I'm glad ponies can still see reason. We may actually have a chance of success. Now, let's change your bandages over, and then we will pay Luna a visit."
Cadance grimaced, nodding as she peeled back the bandages. There, prominent on her face for all the world to see, was a perfectly detailed five pointed star, a rose twining through its spokes, wreathed in fire. The burn was still angry and red, though it would fade to white with time. As she worked, she looked through her Elements, each of them in a different city, allowing her to keep an eye on things. Rarity was in Manehatten, and though there were a few boos and jeers during the broadcast of her speech, the applause at the end rivaled that of the still-jubilant crowd below. Rainbow Dash reported the same from Cloudsdale, and Applejack reported that the ponies of Fillydelphia had been supportive of her since the beginning of her speech. The next two worried her. Los Pegasus was very much evenly divided, Fluttershy said. The speech had pacified some of the population, but there were still a lot of very angry ponies roaming the streets.
Pinkie Pie reported that her speech had garnered almost no support in Trottingham. The Regulars had been deployed, and martial law declared.
At last, the bandaging and reports came to a close. Cadance looked at her aunt curiously. "How was it received?"
Celestia sighed, stepping back into her horseshoes and re-affixing her raiment. "About as well as I had hoped. Manehatten is safe, and Fillydelphia is apparently a paragon of loyalty. Cloudsdale too. But Los Pegasus is teetering on the brink, and Trottingham is rapidly devolving into a warzone. It will be rough around the Everfree, I think. Twilight is in there, somewhere. Probably the castle, my scrying mirror there has been shattered, so that's a very likely indication. What worries me is the fact that I've sent in three patrols to search for her, and all three have vanished completely. I've ordered a halt until we can figure out the source, although I suspect Radiant Zenith is to blame. This will become a problem rapidly."
Cadance nodded as they descended the stairs through the secret passage in Celestia's quarters. "There's no way she could possibly win after that speech. Ponies love you anyway. With the possibility of paradise in front of them, not to mention the inexcusable massacre at Fillydelphia, Twilight's ensured herself almost no support. She can't last long."
They arrived at their destination, a plain, unmarked door. Pushing it open, the Alicorn looked Cadance, silently warning her to stay outside. The Princess of the Dawn nodded tersely. Celestia stepped inside, shutting the door quietly behind her. The dark Alicorn inside, her hair once more light blue and hanging low, looked up as Celestia stepped inside the room. The Alicorn's horn was sheathed inside what was not so much an inhibitor ring as a cone of metal that locked tightly to her horn, forcing her head to hang low as she dangled from adamantium chains on the wall behind her. No light was provided here, so Celestia produced a small one, a tiny werelight that hung in the air between them.
"Hello, Luna! How are you feeling?"
The Princess of the Night sobbed quietly. Celestia pretended not to notice.
"Well, I've got good news. My speech went very well, and with Cadance's help, I think I shall retain my grip on the populace long enough to bring about my paradise. I can't wait to share it with you, but you seem to have developed the nasty habit of double crossing me, so you will have to remain here until my work is concluded. You'll have plenty of time to think on what you did. Lucky for you, you don't need food or water, so we won't even have to interrupt you with meals. Just you, and me, and maybe Cadance if she likes. But mostly you, down here in the dark and quiet."
Luna mumbled something quietly. Celestia leaned in.
"What's that, LuLu?"
"never...break me..."
Celestia laughed, her horn lighting up as she closed the distance between them.
"Oh, Luna. You know as well as I do that never is a very, very long time."
Cadance listened as the Princess of the Night began to scream in pain, the sound of her agony contained by the unfeeling mountain of Canterlot. She didn't begin to worry, however, until the groans of pain began to mingle with moans of pleasure. And so, Celestia spun her sister through ecstasy and agony, wearing away at the Moon's will.
________________________________________
Twilight Sparkle looked around her table, a round affair covered in maps and charts, all of them force dispositions and supplies and number of noncombatants near the castle. Five ponies stood around her, all of them ready to follow her commands. Her voice was strong with newfound authority.
"This Council is called to order. Let the attendees speak their names for the record."
A papery mare raised one hoof, her inky black Talent Mark glimmering, a five pointed star wreathed in flame, a rose twining around it. "Golden Radiance, Archmage as appointed by Twilight Sparkle and this Council."
A cheerful mare with her greying red hair in a messy bun was next to raise her hoof. "Radiant Zenith. Head Steward of the Everfree and this castle the Regia, as appointed by Twilight Sparkle and this Council."
A hulking unicorn, clad in dark armor and missing one eye, raised his hoof in a precise military salute. "Silent Shield, Commander of the Lunar Guard as appointed by Princess Luna, Dio Noctis, under the command of Twilight Sparkle."
A Pegasus clad in a tight black jumpsuit raised her hoof. This was the first time Twilight had actually been able to confirm her existence. "Nightshade, Captain of the Shadowbolts, as appointed by Princess Luna, Dio Noctis, under the command of Twilight Sparkle."
A massive Earth Pony unslung his shield from his back, leaning it against the table. His voice was surprisingly cultured, an upper class Trottingham accent which belied his brutish exterior. "Iron Oak, Marshal Superior of the Ever Free Fighters, as appointed by Twilight Sparkle and this Council."
Twilight looked around the room. This was real, this was happening, and before they were done, Celestia herself would shake in fear. She raised her hoof as well. "Twilight Sparkle, leader of the Ever Free ponies. I hereby call this the first Council to order. All in favor?"
As one, the five ponies roared their approval. "Aye!"
Twilight grinned. "Well, then. Let's get started."
End of Act I.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Airstream · 232k words · 1,219 41 · 13k views
- Airstream · 188k words · 586 17 · 6.6k views
- Airstream · 154k words · 284 12 · 2.8k views
- Lapis-Lazuli and Stitch · 150k words · 1,139 46 · 21k views
- Lapis-Lazuli and Stitch · 56k words · 878 25 · 17k views
- Airstream · 23k words · 115 8 · 2k views
- Nadake · 80k words · 883 86 · 14k views
- Erindor · 226k words · 898 55 · 18k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.068 seconds
Total duration
1,037 users online
2,296,415 hits today, 2,151,698 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Thank you so much for doing a sequel! When will it go through the queue? I was beginning to worry when you said it would be over in 2-3 chapters, since there was so much to still resolve.
1365025
Taking a bit of time off, maybe a week. It'll go up then.
And so, The Revolution Begins...
Bah, sequels!
Yea, of course it will devolve into a full on Civil War. Unfortunate, but there really wasn't any other option the moment Twilight got free. I'm still very much surprised at Twilight's friends though. Assuming they've been broken free of Celestia's control, they've been given the proof Twilight so wished she had. From the horse's mouth even. Celestia all but admitted what she was doing to Twilight, and yet they still support Celestia? Dash at least was already wavering. Or did Twilight not break them free of the Element's control?
Nice speech, now lets try that without Cadance spell and see the results. >:3
Excellent tale! Excellent tale! *claps* I look forward to the followup.
Amazing just amazing God and this is only act 1 can't wait for the sequel to come out and this chapter has also left me wondering how the gryphons and the other races of the world will react with Celestia's admission of what she was planning I will only assume that many of them will not see kindly to what she planned in doing and what role they will play in the sequel.
1365036
You have the beginning of an epic going here my good sir!
This ride was a roller-coaster of emotions and excitement. I heartily enjoyed the first act and knowing there will be more? You sir just made my weekend!
Also... now I feel really bad for Luna. Yes, she sacrificed Twilight. But she was also willing to sacrifice herself. Her fate was in fact worse than Twilight's... so I don't blame her at all anymore. In chess, you must be willing to sacrifice any piece for victory. Luna was playing the long game all along.
Looking forward to the next Act!
And thus ended the preliminary events that would soon lead into the Equestrian Rebellion. The spark of darkness had finally pierced through Princess Celestia's light and illuminated the world to Celestia's plan. Friendships would shatter, alliances would break, and ponykind would soon be thrust into one of its darkest hours.
-Historian to Her Royal Majesty.
Sorry, I couldn't resist. It felt like I had just read something out of a history book or a memoir. Knew that if you were going to end it within a chapter or two, there was a good chance at a sequel. Can't wait!
1365088 Twilight only broke the Element of Magic free, which is how she stole it and Celestia can't get it back. Also Her friends have been twisted and gone from the beginning, they were always under full control, and never wavered. The talk at the end, where they promised to listen? Applejack even admits when Celestia walks in that they didn't think they could distract her long enough for Celestia to get there. They were never listening to Twilight, and I hope they all get killed off in the end.
1365201
Kill them? It's not their fault Celestia brainwashed the shit out of them since they were born.
I hope next arc Twilight goes in and saves Princess Luna from Celestia's grips.
The war begins what friendships will be broken and made under the horror of war? Will any of the other species help like the changelings and griffons side with Twilight? Will Discord break free in the sequel?
i wish i could favorite and thumb this up more than once (there would have to be a limit somewhere though, for obvious reasons...)dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png
1365036
how are you so damn...productive?!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_O_O.png
1365036>>1365135
and you have my bow
1365821
Because I get four hours of sleep a night and have no social life or particular desire for one. My job has me spending too much time around people anyway. I come back from class, take a quick nap, bang out a chapter, shovel food of some description into my head and then go to sleep.
I do this because I love reading with an unholy passion, and writing even more. I burn myself out because I can't contain a story for too long, and I have to get it all out or else I start to go nuts. This week I literally cut myself off from friends and family to finish the story. Even when I ain't posting this week, I'll be starting on the next chapters of the next story.
Writing something that you love is the best and worst drug in the world. You do it for love, and your story takes and takes and takes and tears you to pieces, and you're left drained after every chapter, wondering if this is really the best thing you're doing with your life.
But then you get those moments, those wonderful comments and that feedback and you know that somebody somewhere loves your story maybe as much as you do, and that gives you strength to go on and keep writing even though your keyboard feels like it's pushing back against your tired fingers and your eyes burn from staring at your screen and you sleep with a little grey notebook on your bedside table in case an amazing idea happens at two in the morning.
That's how I'm productive. Because I love my work and this show and this fandom enough that I can put that much of myself into it.
I thought it was an intriguing story, well written, and overall I enjoyed it. However, Twilight's side lost me when they killed hundreds of innocents, and the evil nature of Celestia was a disappointment. I'm not all that up for a civil war storyline of Twilight and some OC's vs. The rest of the show's cast, so this is a good stopping point for me, and I appreciate that it was provided.
Thanks for the entertainment over such a massive story though, and congrats on completing this first stretch of your saga!
1365864
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_O_O.png that was very...descriptive....
and needless to say, me and a lot of other ppl love every damn word you punch out!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png
1365917
Thank you for your readership! I appreciate your at least putting up with it this far!
Having read this chapter by chapter since 9 or 10, this was an incredible story that has had me guessing and second guessing myself, something that hooks me to a story like it's a drug. Every time this story was updated, I dropped everything I was doing to read it. Marvelous job and I'm happily awaiting act 2.
... oh and Twilight is still best pony. 
1365864
Act 1 was awesome! i loved it!
soooo ...
I guess Celestia would not approve a two state solution? Let them have Everfree?
Twilight is not immortal. Celestia can afford to wait till Twily passes on and do it all over again with a new Bearer of Magic.
It wouldn't take more than couple hundred years ... three hundred tops!
After all that preparation Celestia Had to have more than just one bullet in her genetic firearm. Other families had to be close to alicornication (if not as close as Twilight). Wait for one of them to be ready, slap the element of magic on her and get er done then. No need for civil war and the horrors that will come with it.
I have no idea why Celestia wants to have the new alicorn NOW and will not wait one second longer than she must. Let them have their free will. A hundred years or a thousand years, its is nothing on an alicorns lifetime. Celestia can always take it away again later when times are more ... suitable.
This needs at least a thousand likes, seriously. I'm on this website alot, and this is easily the best story I've read in months and months and months.
1366394
Obviously she has developed a problem where she cannot stand to not be in control
1365997
Oh, I did more than "put up with it", I legitimately enjoyed it, and I like Twilight's paper construct companion and would-be Pegasus girlfriend quite a bit. I'm just a fan of Celestia and Cadance, and certainly one of the rest of the Mane Six, so seeing Twilight fighting them just makes me sad. But as I said, I appreciate that you gave it this end point after I had been invested for more than 160,000 words, rather than continuing straight on into a civil war storyline. For me, this ending is much in the vein of the original "Matrix"... the truth of the world has been exposed, and the main character has been empowered to do something about it. I actually find that a satisfying ending, and I appreciate that it was provided to the more squeamish readers such as myself.
Yay, sequel!
This was an amazing story from start to finish and was one of the few stories that had me hooked every chapter. I never thought i could hate celestia but there you go!
Have a good week off Airstream, you certainly deserve it!
1367136
Well, I did feel that this would be an appropriate end to this part of my story, and I'm glad you enjoyed what I have so far. Who knows, maybe you'll find one of my later projects, after I am done here, more palatable. And I'm glad you enjoyed this. Each positive and negative comment I recieve means a great deal to me.
Truth be told, I actually much prefer Celestia to Luna, though it isn't readily apparent here. The idea was just too good for me to pass up. And I agree, Twilight fighting her friends is one of the more difficult things I've had to write. Both Golden Radience and Tarantella are based on people I once knew IRL, with a few artistic liberties thrown in to make them more appealing characters.
Anyway, I thank you for your readership, and I appreciate your feedback. While I regret your disinterest in my second story, I can agree with your sentiment all too well. There are far too many stories out there for you to read one you dislike.
Good luck to you, Harwick!
[aplauso]
1365036 - Bit of a plot hole... but wouldn't Shining Armor be able to father Alicorns too? Everyone's been focusing on Twilight, and with good reason, but Shining Armor's no slouch either. One would assume the eugenics program could get a kickstart with him and be back on track very quickly. Wasn't Cadence birthed from a powerful pegasus and a custom-bred Unicorn male?
1369767
Alicorns can't bear children. And Cadance, being the Princess of Love, would not be willing to share.
1370871 - No playing Stud? Seems like a plan Celestia should consider.
1370881
Not all of the implications of Celestia's plans have been revealed. Cadance very much needs Shining Armor, and after a while, he will very much need her.
1370895 - You kinda passed over it, but does the father of the Alicorn die as well? Cadence's father died, but I wasn't sure if it was directly related or not. Then there's the whole, marry Shining Armor off to Cadence to insure that the 'line' ends with him and his sister. Can't have super-powered ponies running around in her dystopia.
1370916
No, only the mother. Though Ultimo died of grief.
OK i I have been following this story since it first came out and believe me when i say that this is one of the best stories I have ever read, and am beyond glad that there is going to be more. Thank you for making this story happen and thank you even more for letting it continue.
Dang, I am so glad I stumbled upon this. Took me 4 days to chew through and you had me hooked for the whole thing.
One thing that threw me just a minute ago, though. A few chapters back, Luna says that Celestia gave ponies their cutie marks as a way to show they've accepted her indoctrination AFTER she was banished (though she doesn't say how long after it was). However, didn't the book that was Golden Radiance go back farther than the lunar banishment (or, at least, very near to it)?
Had that thought while I was entertaining the idea of Luna having been on Celestia's side the whole time.
As an aside, over the course of my readership, I noticed a few missing words here and there. If I didn't do most of my reading on my phone, I probably would have noted them down for you (not really, I suck at keeping up on that stuff).
For example:
All the ones I can think of went like that. Some small word was missing that was usually easy for me to guess.
In conclusion, have a watch and I'll be waiting.
OH, almost forgot.
1365821
And my Axe.
Couldn't leave that unfinished.
1377641
Histories are always difficult to get right, but the book only says that House Radient goes back to before the Celestial Wars.
1377641
And I'll be siccing a few editors on the story now that it's done. I'm glad that you like it! The first chapter of the next story comes up in a few days, and I'm running a Q&A on my blog right now if you have questions.
1377641
i was waiting for someone to pick that up!
i547.photobucket.com/albums/hh476/SiaFel/126019_v1.jpg
I can't help but getting very strong flashbacks of the anime Code Geass from this. Just to point out that Code Geass is infact my absolute favourite anime of all time gives this a promising result. I can not wait for the sequel and see how this all ends.
Also i should probably sleep now its kind of 5AM..
Ehh, I think it would have been more interesting if the elements of harmony were controlling Celestia instead of the other way around. I mean it would have made more sense because if Twilight was so important to Celestia then why would she have given Twilight access to so much power as to mess up her plans. Plus it would have made more sense and giving more options for the end game.
Also if there was a spell cast on Twilight when she was young so she would be super fertile then why not just wait till she was getting near the end of her time then pull all this stuff on her.
1402365
Twi is the result of a very concentrated magical bloodline, and as such she has access to a lot of magical power already. Celestia took her under her wing in order to keep an eye on her, and grew to care for her more than she should have.
As for your second point, what do you mean by "the end of her time"?
1402469
Twi does have allot of power but it would be less risky for Celestia to just keep an eye on her from afar and silently guide her.
Death by old age is what I mean, that seems like an obvious answer to the whole death by child birth thing. When
and 
are in 
head talking I was disappointed that neither attempted to work out a deal of some sort.
The main motivation I can see for Twilight is the death at birth thing. The whole "freedom" angle kinda falls apart since the rulers of Equestira are essentially gods.
1402953
Twilight is at the biological age where most creatures give birth easily and often. For us, that age now happens to be the mid twenties. Afterwards, her supply of eggs will begin to run low and be of lower quality. It behooves Celestia to have Twilight give birth now, otherwise the child will not be as high quality.
And yes, they are gods, but ponies like Radient Zenith have shown us that powerful enough magic users can play on that level too. And since Twi is hiding in the Everfree Forest, Celestia will be unwilling to get her out, especially with the current social climate in Equestria.
1403086
It's all connected, it is.
1402987
You seemed to imply that it didn't really matter, you might want to take out the line about Twilight having a spell put on her that makes her super fertile since it implies then when and the how doesn't matter, just that it happens.
I didn't say they were invincible, but no pony knows a world without Celestia watching over them. My point is that its hard to really have much of a concept of not having a ruler when you have always had one.
1403165
Aye, you bring up some truly good points. Thank you for bringing up the things that don't make sense or rub wrong for you. I'm currently working on the next part of the story, and my eventual goal is to have all the big questions answered by the time I am done. The part about Celestia being Equestria's ruler, for example, we will have to deal with that. Or why she chose to move when she did, that's an important part too.
Anything else that you particularly liked or disliked? I wrote this partly because I liked the story idea, and partly to improve myself as a writer, so any and all constructive criticism is welcome.
1403186
You might wanna tone down Twilight a lil, in her mind and general actions you do her very well but when something happens involving her and someone she doesn't like you tend to go over the top with her, the best example is her disfiguring Cadence. I can't recall Cadence killing anyone close to Twilight, she essentially desummons a construct but Twilight knows at that point that its not hard to summon it back. So Twilight doing it really comes off as her just being as much a monster as her friends are worried she has become. Unless I'm forgetting about Cadence killing somepony.
But then again I'm not sure if that is where your trying to go with it, showing that both sides are monstrous since you also toss in the implied torture of Luna by Celestia at the end there.
You actual might wanna tone down the torture and violence committed by Twilight and Celestia since ultimately it will make it that much more difficult to resolve the story with anything but one or both of their deaths.
Actually one angle you might want to try is Cadence getting pregnant, it seems like it might already by cannon that she and Shining armor have a foal. http://www.equestriadaily.com/2012/08/new-pony-toy-spotted-princess-skyla.html
1403374
Sort of showing a moral grey area with both of them, actually. Twilight just wants to be free herself, while Celestia wants "what's best" for her ponies as a whole, how they feel about it be damned.
Also, they have a foal? Really?
1403396
You've gone a bit beyond moral grey area for both of them, you've got Twilight a lil too willing to fight and badly injure ponies who were practically her parents, Cadence and Celestia almost raised Twilight. And Celestia is a bit too willing to torture Luna for her nature. The first time it happened I got the impression that i was something that was more forced on Celestia's part, almost not really her choice to even do it, the implied second time it felt more like someone tearing the wings off a fly because it had the nerve to fly into a house. Having Luna be the bringer of balance between order and disorder was a nice touch but ultimately it means shes gonna always betray someone so if Celestia had any idea about Luna's role then she should have expected it.
All Im saying is that depending on what kind of an ending you want, you need to think about how far they go, I get the impression you will go for some kind of understanding between them at some point but to do that they will have to come to terms with what the other has done and the more they have done the harder it will be to write any ending besides so and so stabs the other one in the eye.
Yeah it does look like Cadence and Shining Armor's kid.
1408377
READ READER READ!