A prodigal child is born once more with a strange condition that makes her uniquely gifted in a lost magical art. Unfortunately for the child, that art is soul magic and Celestia does not tolerate the manipulation of a soul under any circumstances.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Bizarre.....I have an idea about what that may have been...but I can't be sure.
So then who’s got celestia’s voodoo doll?
Also great to see some other perspectives being thrown into these chapters. Gotta hope though that Shining doesn’t pick up a magical enhancement addiction.
Love that we have an entire chapter focusing on characters other than Twilight. The relationship between Cadance and Chrysalis is too adorbz! And THIS:
This one, small paragraph not only reveals so many unknown/missing pieces of the Celestia problem, but reveals them already in their proper place! Now we just need to find how they connect to each other...
Daybreaker is in control but not outwardly. Niiiiiceeee.
9016896
Nightmare Sun? Brings up the question if Nightmare Moon is even Nightmare and not just Luna. Two nightmares, one, none?
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It's more of what 9016900 said.
I feel like this celestia has been taken over by a nightmare like influence and now her kind and mean selfs are fighting for once.
ooh celestia your hilarious, as you said you don't have a lot of knowledge of necromancy so how could you know liches aren't alive but still have magic because they tie there soul and/or intellect to there earthly coil, that well cost you.
Hi Daylestia!
I rather think that thing will be removing you from their world.
Am I the only one that feels like this is a bailout from the author, basically plausible deniability, to not have to deal with a truly insane Celestia, 'cause it's obviously possession of some kind at work here, Celestia would never be like this if she was right in the head...
9017098
Why does it have to be possession? Why not a fractured psyche that spawned a darker split personality? I mean, the first chapter implies some kind of PTSD from the war against Nightmare Moon.
9017132
Not everything is simple.
Ah, Celestia is having some split thingy going, and the 'good side' just failed to deliver freeing command because she wanted to say how sorry she is before doing so.
Hrr...
Till break of day, then?
Did the nightmare infect Celestia, after she defeated Luna somehow?
Think you meant emaciated. Emancipated is to be spearated, or split. Emaciated is abnormally malnourished, usually because of a lack of food, or in this case, illness.
9018069
Fuck! I glossed over that. Fixed!
So... two sides to the Princess... this does help explain her at times erratic personality; but it raises far more questions than it answers...
I believe the word you are looking for is: emaciated
So... she is either bi-polar or possessed. Interesting.
Curioser and curiouser.
9018113
Someone litterly just commented on that and it was already changed. Like the comment below yours XD
I am intrigued at whose puppet Celestia is. Right now, my vote is either Nightmare Moon or Sombra, but the author might hide plot twists somewhere I didn't notice.
Oh my GOD.
She done messed up (but also I ship this).
Celestia's death needs to be MASSIVELY brutal and needs an entire chapter devoted to it with how much shit she keeps pulling. I look forward to it.
Pink Diamond at it again with the gag orders.
Mm.... Nah. Too late in the story for the built up emotional momentum toward Celestia as a character to be diverted with the revelation that she's sharing head-space with an alternate personality.
Personally, I kinda wanna see the forest just off Sunset before five minutes pass and this big ominous terminator-esque nonsense get turned into one big red herring.
I really like the cadence crysalis first time i read such a thing and just consedoring natures the go together so well love and the devoror of love
Also i know this celestia has been overcome by the nightmare
9019269 9020513>>9017098
She used a type of magic SHE know fucks ponies up on her own mind, this is not the Nightmare that 'took over' Luna, but something of Celestia's own making by fucking with her memories that made up her personality to begin with.
I personally believe the Twilight Zecora spoke of is the Twilight of the Show in some way. If that is true, Luna's Second fall is a fabrication of Celestia's grief, or rage should she believe Luna was involved with Twilight's Death.
I also agree that it is too late to Save face with Celly, no matter what she Brought this on herself and mist pay for it. Chrysalis, Cadence, Luna, Sunset, the Twilight Family and many more have suffered because of Celestia's use of neuromancy and the consequences of the altered memories.
Death ... it would be too kind a punishment of this... Her horn.... her Wings.... and quiet possibly the death of HER SUN!
9021763
They need that sun thing ya know, geese dude.
9021766
and yet many have made it possible to make artificial Sun Light
Praise the SUN
9021763
Yeah my guess was that the memory wipe fractured her personality at least in two, not so much alien presence kind of thing. My comment was more regarding the storytelling than her actual character. It's a good story but a fluctuated third person omniscient with a lot of view points is really hard to manage with stuff like character momentum, dramatic irony causing reader stress, and of course us having perspectives that make things seem really obvious even when they aren't to the characters, thereby causing frustration with the illusion of incompetence.
Celestia's fucked up brain was foreshadowed but it's gonna take some real work to make whatever she has coming satisfying. Too sudden of a "Oh but it's OK because it isn't really her" won't bleed off the momentum the story's built up, as it were. Some readers could make the turn but others would just smash right into the wall and go "WHAT"
The other part is - it's also important to have a few red herrings and intentionally missed "hints" and empty shadows to keep readers from knowing where things are going. Sunset Shimmer, for example, is having it heavily hinted that she's going to be sort of a tragic monster sort of thing or else there wouldn't be so much time trying to force empathy for her down our throats. I'd rather see it flushed with an anticlimactic death, denying Twilight the closure, and driving Celestia even further off the deep end. Let's be frank she's probably trying to get Night Light to kill himself so she can turn shining armor into a tool to kill his sister.
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Very possible with Velvet's pep talk from beyond the grave Night light seems to be Getting ready for trouble, Celestia Could easily twist her 'truth' about the death of the Twilights. It was clear that Night Light disliked his daughter, what could or would stop Celestia from claiming Night Light introduced his daughter to these 'Terrorists' in hopes of getting ride of her? one less problem for her and one more 'toy' to play with.
I want to say Daybreaker in the form of an active possession, but I can’t be certain. Also, I love the Cadance/Chrysalis thing, that cracked me up.
9016885
You mean the Nightmare got Celestia instead of Luna? Curious she's not all Daybreaker rather than appearing normal, but it's been almost 1000 years. It makes lethal sense why Celestia had done what she's been doing all along-- kinda surprised I didn't figure it out as soon as she showed up in the story but this momentary character break of the "Tyrant" proves it.
Another thought; if Celestia can divine the future, that means Nightmare can too. She must know that Twilight is most likely the one to set in motion that Mare in the Moon prophecy which will lead to her [Nightmare's] destruction. Sending one assassin, albeit a very efficient one, seems a bit, well, daft. You'd think she would have a small force accompany Sunset to make sure the job's done. And no army tho, a hamfisted approach of sending the army into that Everfree meatgrinder would be a disaster.
I do hope Twilight and her friends can break Sunset of her conditioning. It seems that Shimmer still wants to live despite how shitty her life is.
Edits and typos:
Something I've noticed that is perfectly illustrated by the quote above, you throw in a double-space between paragraphs for seemingly no reason every once-in-a-while. Generally the extra space signifies a break in the scene, such as time passing, shifting POV, etc. As you can see in the quote, none of those things take place, the sentence literally continues on from before the space.
I've been noticing this for awhile, this particular example just made me decide something was definitely wrong.
heedless
about (Unless they are trying to be clever about the fact she's coming from above her, but that seems unlikely/like a stretch.)
Ty for update.
Great chapter! Finally some of the pieces are coming together.
I was thinking of Death Wish, myself.
Also this came up in the playlist while I was reading, and it seemed to sort of fit → Short Change Hero
9025385
Except that from what I've read, Sunny has a psychological need to kill. Have to solve that first. Fall in love with her prey? Allowing her sense of self-preservation to stop her from killing Twilight, as she is the one in the way.
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I think I now know why some societies can have free health care but the people have problem asking for help and then there are societies were the opposite is true. I have started reading a paper on the subject and in short the reason seems to be that in small, poor and/or more individualist societies people are more likely to help each other as they have to take care of one another in order to survive and the cost of living perpetuates that attitude.
While in more collectivist, richer and/or larger societies you are supposed to have your "things" in order so you can be respected and not be considered part of a "lower" type of people.
I thought it was interesting so I thought I'd share.
9025928
I just realized I forgot to thank you for pointing these out, so, thank you! Also, as for the double spaces, I have no idea why they are there. Copy pasting from google docs sometimes does that and I dont know why.
9055213
It's a cool idea, a super creepy idea but a cool one all the same.
Also, do you get a notification whenever someone comments on your story or do I have to link to a comment?
9055217
Nope, whenever anyone comments on any of my stories or user page.
9055242
ok, I didn't get a notification for this though which is odd.
Also, did you dislike my familiar timberwolf idea it has two and I want to know why if one was you?
9055269
I can barely understand that sentace. I did like the idea a little and it was something I was thinking of toying around with, to your other question... maybe? Im honestly not sure what you tried to say.
9055280
I meant I didn't get a notification about your reply I just checked the comments and found it.
I meant a familiar like a witch’s familiar you know an animal you connect your magic to and might share a mental link with, it might result in more power for the animal and the magic user. My comment mentioning this idea has two dislikes and I wanted to know if you were one of them. For more info on familiars see this wiki article. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Familiar_spirit
What was so hard to understand in my comment?
Ah so the nightmare resides incelestia then, interesting
I really like this story so far. I get the feeling it's set in the future of the show?
Some errors and oddities I spotted while reading;
"friendless" and "Please" (missing capital)
It
We're
be
elusive
would
unneeded comma
unneeded comma
not sure about this, maybe "my"?
I thought her heart wasn't beating?
missing space after period
victorian seems out of place here
Have (missing capital)
Edit: adding
assent
I'm pretty sure "vain" is the right one here.
shimmering
siccing