A prodigal child is born once more with a strange condition that makes her uniquely gifted in a lost magical art. Unfortunately for the child, that art is soul magic and Celestia does not tolerate the manipulation of a soul under any circumstances.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This sounds weird, I think there's a tense mismatch between "is going to be" and the rest of the sentence.
YEY!!!!!
Well how about that, they found the Teleportarium. Useful thing that, especially if Twilight can reverse-engineer it.
I suppose this notion is true somewhat. Even in the canon, this small town library has the answer to most of the questions our Bearer of Magic had asked for.
gaaaaah nbuuuuuuuu moar moaaaaarrrr!!!
I can hardly wait to see what happens next.
Loving this story
Hehehehehe!
I'm loving this! Can't wait for the next update!
EEEEEEEE!!
Truly enjoying how this story is playing out. Bravo!
Really great story
This story is brilliantly done. The world-building is top-notch and the redesigned characters interesting and engaging.
I am very much looking forward to the next chapters....and curious if Spike is going to recognize Twilight's reincarnation or Trixie, since the showmare's last performance in old Ponyville was just before Celestia attacked.
That, of course, assumes that the young drake didn't get killed in said attack and has made the library his home where he would now be a mature adult dragon.
Wow, what a chapter to end on!
This definitely didn't disappoint, from the characters to the structure of the plot. I love what you've put together here.
Definite favorite, and also Happy Birthday?
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Hey Jest! Take a look!
Look around 2:46 or 2:47! There is a surprise in there for you! Congrats!
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Hey neat.
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Figured you would like that, expect more people to read this story now!
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Well it was less then a second long, so I dont know about that XD
Well, I’m back again.
Still enjoying the story. I’m actually in the middle of the next chapter but I wanted to leave a comment so here I am.
The issues I mentioned in my first comment are still present but because I’ve already brought them up and the genesis of those issues is so far in the past I won’t revisit them here.
The pace picks up pretty well after they leave Ponyvillie. So well, that I felt a little bad about the comment I made regarding it being so slow at that point. This story is at its best when things are moving and developing. The chapter with Night Light and the changeling that’s watching him was defiantly my favorite since the beginning, there is a tension there that isn’t present in other parts of the story. The chapters covering the cast’s trip to the castle, however, suffered from several problems.
The first of these problems isn’t something unique to your story. We’re pretty deep into the lifecycle of the fandom now, some would say nearing its end, and the assembling of the main six and their trip to the castle is something that’s been covered so many times in so many fics it’s hard to get excited about seeing it done one more time. I’m afraid I have to say that despite the somewhat different nature of the challenges you present here it’s still a little uninteresting. Again the problem is I’ve seen this so many times before that I instantly know how these things are going to work out once it becomes clear which of the six the challenge is meant for. Is Rarity or Fluttershy taking the lead here? Then it must be solved by them being generous or kind respectively.
That being said I think out of all of them Rainbow’s worked the best. Why? Well first, her challenge is the only one set up as something that comes from outside the forest. Everyone else just has things thrown at them by the forest to test them while Dashs’ has been in the background and something she has kind of been dealing with for a few chapters. Also, hers seems to be the only one with real conflict. She is forced to choose between loyalties here and is agonizing over it. Rarity, in contrast, immediately gives the troll guarding the bridge what he wants without any real thought on her part about it. There’s almost no conflict there.
I also have issues with how quickly they seem to be coming together as friends. This isn’t equal across all characters. Twilight has defiantly had enough experience with Fluttershy, Pinkie and maybe Rarity but her interactions with the others have been rather shallow at the point when they have that big group hug in the forest. I’d add Applejack to this list after their ordeal in the castle Library.
Once they reach the castle things pick up again for me. Dash becomes more competent and her leading them through the castle with the help of Twilight’s previous life memories and the information gathered by the other guard’s expeditions is exciting. Trixie showing up is a bit random but whatever. The stuff with her and the giant spiders is cool. Forming a familial relationship with the matron hopefully she has the support here she needs not to go psycho jealous on everyone later.
I’m of two minds about the cycle of souls thing you’re setting up here. On the one hand it’s an interesting wrinkle to add to the world but on the other it seems like it could be used as a convenient excuse to handwave a lot of things that might otherwise take time and care to develop in a natural way, see the comment I made regarding how quickly their friendship is developing.
Celestia not being completely subsumed by whatever has control of her could make for some great drama later but we’ll have to see how it develops. The stuff with the library seems a little out of nowhere. Not completely mind you, looking back I can see some of the setups for it but it might not have been enough. As they descended the tower I was looking forward to them reaching the bottom because that seemed to be their goal. For them to just suddenly switch gears and teleport out to some previously unknown library of ancient wisdom kind of came out of nowhere to me. I think you might have mentioned it in passing once before this but it never seemed like anything special until you had already gotten them there and Rarity and the others start dropping exposition about how awesome it’s supposed to be.
Sorry, I rambled here at the end but it’s late so I’ll leave it at that.
So. Much. Intrigue!
hello other person reading this aswell!
What if things are actually backward? What if the real Celestia is the evil half, and the good Celestia is in fact her other half keeping her in check? Also, your magic can't be harmonized if you deny the existence of an entire school of magic. Here's an interesting thing to think about. Are Celestia's two halves even aware that they are separate entities? Because when the good Celestia broke through and was about to free Sunset, the Dark Celestia took control again and was confused as to what happened.
Twilight and Fluttershy have a lot in common when it comes to their origins. They're both freaks of their respective worlds, if they had swapped families, they would likely fit in with society despite a Pegasus being born from a Unicorn family and a Unicorn being born from a Thestral family, and for both of them, the Everfree Forest helped them both to fit in in some way. They're kinda like 2 sides of the same coin Fluttershy is still alive but without a corporeal body of her own, and Twilgiht still has her own body...but is dead.
I almost thought that the riddle could've been "a tune". Because you can carry a tune and it never gets heavy. Although I suppose you don't carry it wherever you go.
You know, I wouldn't be surprised if in the next chapter, the teleportation spell worked...by sending them 1000 years into the past. If the portal at the Golden Oaks Library doesn't exist anymore for whatever reason (for example, the Golden Oaks itself not existing anymore), there'd be no place to send them. But considering how the Everfree seems to like messing with the passage of time, who's to say it wouldn't send them back in time if a spell like that was used?
On a side note, considering that Twilight's lineage can be traced back to the original Twilight from 1000 years ago, and the fact that this Twilight is a reincarnation of that Twilight, does that make Twilight her own ancestor?
It just ocurred to me that if flutters died young it was probably when she fell from Cliffsdale, if events are similar enough.
She must have seen some animals before she died, even more irony points if what she saw was the swarm of butterflies that rescued her originally
This is a few years after this chalture was published, but when describing the marching order at the top of the chapter, I got a strong image of the party moving through the halls. I'd love to see any art of that if it exists.