A prodigal child is born once more with a strange condition that makes her uniquely gifted in a lost magical art. Unfortunately for the child, that art is soul magic and Celestia does not tolerate the manipulation of a soul under any circumstances.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is a pre second pass of editing draft, so if there are any errors lemme know. Will be updated soon.
11379997
No.
11380001
I've just found my mistake. Sorry.
Spellingwise it is pretty much spot free.
But i noticed several grammar mistakes, such as missing words or homophones instead of the proper word.
seeing how it is 3 in the morning, i will be heading to bed now.
if these instances are still there when i wake up, i will make a list then.
Oh no she bringing them back to life!!!
what a battle
Well Tempest/Celestia is doing everything she claims she isn’t. Hopefully Twilight will be able to stop this from happening.
11380048
Most notable thing I'm noticing is the use of "which" and "that" and similar words that start dependent clauses referring to nouns in previous sentences and paragraphs. Specifically I mean things like
where grammatically "which" has nothing to refer to. It's clearly referring to the song, but it's a bit jarring for me and the sentence would be better served by something like "It grew ..."
11380644
This is actually a matter of personal style and taste (mostly, anyway), and while you can find authors and editors (and ordinary readers) who completely despise these, such sentence fragments are still valid tools that can be used, especially if their intended effect is some sort of extra emphasis or an adjustment to the story's pacing. As long as it's clear what they refer to, these incomplete clauses are not erroneous per se. However, should the author start overusing them or should they otherwise become a bother, then yes, I suggest omitting them. (Just popping up here to drop this comment. Still have two more pages of the story to edit.)
11380670
Yeah, I'm just reading it mostly as a way that people split up sentences that are too long. Like, they see a sentence that's way too long and put a period in before the dependent clause as part of the editing process, rather than these things occurring naturally. That's certainly how it feels to me reading it, at least.
11380680
It's possible that some people do it that way, but my previous point still stands. These things are allowed to occur naturally (and are not really uncommon, to be honest).
11379995
I noticed two instances where "steel" was spelled as "steal".
For as much chaos as there is on a battlefield this chapter sure did a good job of portraying it well. Just have to stop that darn Celestia from cheating all the time…
11389990
How does it being dead cause it to have ethereal powers that would be beneficial to it being a familiar?
11389993
Magic
All of this is a prelude to Luna returning back to the world. I wonder how Celestia will react to her returning?
Also: Cadance and Chrysalis are still in the mix.
No, not Maud!