Rage Against The Privilege
The courtroom air was dense and heavy. Glaring eyes from all in attendance peered at the dragon sitting in a seat at the front of the room. The judge shot a glance, sharp as steel, toward him.
“Spike the Dragon, you are before this hallowed courtroom today accused of a crime of the gravest and most sinister variety. How do you plead?”
Spike stood up, eyes locked with the judge. “Not guilty, your honor.”
Murmurs could be heard from all across the room.
“Very well.” The judge stood up and addressed the crowd before her. “I, Celestia, will hear both sides of this argument, from the plaintiff and defendant, and determine the culpability and truth of all citizens and accusations made. But first, Spike, please rise.”
Spike stood up. “Yes, your honor?”
“Please, tell me how someone such as you, known for his upstanding behavior in all things could be involved in a case so heinous as this.”
Spike looked over at his representative, one Trixie Lulamoon, and after getting the okay, he began to speak. “Well, your honor, it all began a few days ago. I was walking in the park when I met this mare…”
*****
The birds were chirping, the sun was shining and life was absolutely wonderful as Spike made his way down the concrete pathways of the local town park.
“Ahh, what a beautiful day! It would have been a shame to just stay inside.”
Spike had a spring to his step as he walked by his fellow townsponies. Spike took a moment to wave at two of them enjoying the comfort of a nearby bench. “Good afternoon, Lyra! You too, Bon Bon!”
The ponies smiled and waved back at him.
“Good morning, Spike,” Bon Bon said.
“Isn’t it a beautiful day?” Lyra leaned back and let out a sigh of pure delight. “I’m so thankful to our wonderful city council for supplying us with all these lovely benches for us to sit on.”
“I agree,” Bon Bon replied. “But isn’t the whole bench thing getting old by now? Maybe we should do something else?”
“Nah, some things never get old.”
Spike chuckled. “You guys have a great day, alright?”
He wandered further down the path when he came across a mare he had seen around town before, but never thought to try and socialize with. She was sitting down by a tree by herself, so now seemed to be as good of a time as any.
“Hey there!” He said with a wave, approaching her. “You’re Berry Punch, right?”
“Yep, that’s me,” she said with a grunt.
Spike could notice she was holding a bottle of soda and seemed to be having some trouble with it. “You seem to be having some trouble getting the cap off. You mind if I give it a try?”
Spike reached out and got the bottle from her. With a quick flick of his claw the cap was off and he handed it back to her with a smile on his face. “Here you go. Being a dragon has its benefits, if you know what I mean.”
“Excuse me?” she replied, snatching the bottle back. “Was that a sexual threat?”
“Umm, what?”
“You think just because you’re a ‘big, mighty, male dragon’ you can do whatever you want with me?” She rose to her hooves and glared at him.
“No, I’m sorry. I was just referring to my claws. They help with…”
“Oh! Likely story! The ‘poor helpless female’ can’t open a bottlecap by herself so you have to step in and save the day. Typical patriarchal society views. How do I know you weren’t trying to distract me so you could have your way with me when I wasn’t looking, huh? HUH?”
Spike looked around, eyes wide in shock. “No, I… I’m gonna go now.”
“That’s it. I’m telling my lawyer. You’ve got a lawsuit on your hooves, buddy.”
Spike stood frozen. “Uh… claws, actually.”
*****
“...And that’s how it happened. As you can see, it doesn’t make much sense.”
“That’s for me to decide, defendant.” Celestia looked at him, eyes like daggers through his heart.
“Trixie objects, your honor,” Trixie said, standing up. “What exactly is my client even being charged with? This whole trial is a waste of my time and energy and that of everyone in attendance and this needs to stop.”
Celestia shook her head. “Trixie? How did you even come to be a representative of the law, if I may ask? Last I heard from Twilight, you were causing mischief and hustling ponies out of their money in pool halls.”
“Oh, please. Those facts have been greatly exaggerated! The Great and Powerful Trrrrixie has been an avid studier of law for a long time. Three days to be exact! Spike, my dear client in his most vulnerable state, called upon my expertise in his hour of need and I took it upon myself as my duty, no, my moral obligation, to assist!”
Celestia frowned and looked over to Spike. “Really? Was she the best you could do?”
He shrugged. “I only had three bits. My options were limited.”
Celestia rolled her eyes. “Well, it is your right under the law to choose who you wish, however foolish the choice may seem to be.”
“Trixie objects!”
“Overruled. Now, in response to your question, the defendant today is being accused of sexual misconduct in public, attempt to sexually harass and for a vulgar display of one’s power and social privilege.”
Trixie turned to Spike. “Don’t worry, with me at your side, there’s no way we can lose. These charges are obscene!”.
Celestia turned her attention away from Trixie and Spike over to the other side of the courtroom. “Now, Berry Punch. You stand before me as the one accusing Spike of these crimes. Do you or your representative have an opening statement? Speaking of which, where is your representative?” Celestia pointed toward the empty seat next to Berry Punch.
“Oh, she’ll be here very quickly,” Berry Punch replied with a devilish smirk. “She just had a long way to travel.”
Trixie leaned in toward Spike to whisper to him. “Ha! Their attorney couldn’t even be here on time. We’ve got this in the bag. And besides, I brought me a briefcase. There’s no way they can stand up to this level of professionalism.”
Spike and Trixie shared a quick hoof bump, but their glee was interrupted by the sound of the courtroom doors flying open.
“So sorry I’m late, your honor,” a familiar voice announced from the back. “I couldn’t find my second briefcase.”
Spike and Trixie turned around and their jaws hit the floor in unison as the they saw the figure of Princess Cadance stroll to the front of the room and take her seat.
Spike turned around and addressed Celestia. “Your honor, how is this fair? Having a Princess as an attorney is a major conflict of interest!”
Cadance stood up and turned to Spike. “Sorry Spike, but in my vast array of Princess studies I earned a degree in law at Canterlot university and Berry Punch just happens to be one of my clients. It’s entirely legal.”
“Well, this sucks,” Spike said, crossing his arms.
“Uh, your honor, the defendant just used vulgar language in the courtroom. Please add that to his case file.” Cadance pointed a hoof in Spike’s direction.
“Trixie objects! ‘Sucks’ is not vulgarity, merely a word used to describe the unpleasantness of this situation.”
“I’ll allow it,” Celestia said, “and you just used it a second time, so that’s an extra mark against your client. You guys are on thin ice, already.”
Trixie huffed and sat back down.
“Anyway, Cadance, would your party like to make an opening statement before we begin?”
“Yes, your honor, we would.” Cadance walked to the front of the room and addressed the crowd.
“Ponies of Equestria, my client has suffered a humiliation of the most grotesque variety this past week. In her attempts to live a normal life and enjoy a crisp Spring afternoon, the creature sitting before us decided it was high time to impose his dominance and threaten her very being. As citizens, we all stand by and let this happen on a daily basis, but now, we have the opportunity to do the right thing and see justice served. So please, do the right thing today. That is all.”
Celestia wiped a tear from her eye. “Well said, Cadance. Well said. Now, let’s begin the proceedings. Cadance, you will call the first witness.”
“Wait a minute, Trixie objects once more! Why does she get to go first?”
“Two briefcases,” Celestia said.
Trixie sat down and slammed her hoof to the table. “Curses, she’s good.”
“Thank you, your honor,” Cadance said, flicking her tail in Trixie’s direction. “For my first witness, I’d like to call my client, Berry Punch, to the stand, so we can hear the truth of the matter.”
Berry Punch rose to her hooves and sat down at the stand. “Very well, what would you like to know.”
“Berry Punch, please, take us back in time to when the incident took place. Tell us, in your own words, the truth of what happened that terrible afternoon.”
“Of course.” She put her hoof to her chin. “Well, I had just purchased an ice cold soda, and went to the park to enjoy it. And then, all of a sudden, this hulking dragon approaches me….”
*****
“Ahh, yes, what a glorious afternoon to be alive,” Berry said aloud. “And to top it off, I finally saved up enough money with the twenty-six percent less I make compared to my male counterparts to afford a soda!”
Berry took her beverage and began to open it when a large, looming shadow appeared over her.
“Oh, what do we have here? A little pony trying to enjoy her day. Not if I, a superior male, has anything to say about it!”
Berry looked up to see the figure of a dragon standing over her. “Oh, um, Spike, what can I help you with?”
Spike knocked her to the side and took her drink from her. He cracked the cold one open and drank it before throwing the bottle back at her. “You can shut the hell up and wait for my boys to show up. Then we’re going back to my place to have some fun.”
“Ahh, help me, somepony!” Berry cried out, but it was to no avail as the dragon began dragging her away.
“Heh, sometimes it’s good to be a dragon,” he said with a grin.
*****
“...And that’s exactly how it happened, your honor. It’s a miracle I was able to escape and get ahold of Cadance at all. I’ve never been so humiliated.”
Cadance nodded and looked up at Celestia. “No further questions, your honor.”
Berry Punch returned to her seat, wiping away tears and glaring at Spike.
“Thank you, Berry Punch,” Celestia stated. “I understand that must’ve been hard for you. Now Trixie, you are free to speak.”
Trixie got up and addressed Celestia. “Thank you, your honor. I, too, would like to call my first witness. To begin, I’d like to call Lyra Heartstrings to the stand!” Trixie thrust her hoof out to the mint colored mare in audience.
Lyra stood up and walked to the stand.
Trixie approached her. “Now, Lyra, it has come to my attention you were there the day of the incident, is that correct?”
“That is correct,” she replied.
“And is it also true that you’ve known Spike, my client, for quite some time?”
“Yes, that is also correct.”
“Very good,” Trixie said. “Tell me, would you consider Spike a nice dragon? How would you describe him, in your own words?”
Lyra thought for a moment before responding. “Yes, I suppose he’s pretty nice. On the few occasions we’ve spoken he’s always seemed pleasant.”
“Excellent. Now, if you would, please tell everypony here of the events that happened that day, in your own words.”
“Okay, I’ll try and remember.”
“Very good,” Trixie said. “But remember, you took an oath before entering this courtroom to spill the beans, the whole beans and nothing but the beans. No pressure, though, of course.”
Lyra took a gulp of air and began. “Well, from what I can remember, it went like this…”
*****
“Good afternoon, to you too, Spike!” Lyra shouted at the dragon as he strode down the concrete path.
“He sure is friendly, huh?” Bon Bon said to her.
“Definitely. Then again, who could be anything but friendly on a beautiful day like this?” Lyra stretched out in the bench and closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight on her coat.
However, something wasn’t right. She could feel it. Her eyes flew open and she glanced at the area around her.
“Bon Bon?” Lyra asked, softly touching her friend.
“Yes, Lyra?”
“There’s something wrong, here. Something terrible is happening. I can feel it.”
“What do you mean?” Bon Bon asked. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s… It’s…”
*****
“Yes, what is it?” Trixie asked, peering into Lyra’s eyes. “What happened?”
“IT WAS THE BENCH!” Lyra burst into tears. “The bench had an uneven board on the back rest! It was awful!”
Trixie stepped back. “Excuse me?”
Lyra’s screams of pain and agony were heard around the courtroom. “You did this, Celestia!” She thrust a hoof at the Princess. “By cutting the small town budgets, upkeep could not be kept on that bench and my love life, my happy memories… they’re all ruined!”
As tears flowed down her face, Celestia motioned for security to take her out of the courtroom.
“I’ll never forgive you for this. Never!” As security dragged her out, Trixie was left with nothing to do but move on..
“Well, uh, no more questions, your honor.” She slinked back to her seat next to Spike.
“Way to go,” Spike whispered to her, “you said she was a surefire ace in the hole for us.”
“How was I supposed to know she was suffering from some kind of bench related PTSD?” Trixie replied.
“That’s why you’re supposed to interview the witnesses before the trial,” Spike said shaking his head.
“Well, I’m sorry. I didn’t get that far in the book!”
“That’s basic stuff! How far did you get?”
“I’ll have you know I scanned the entire table of contents and part of the acknowledgements.”
Spike shoved his claw into his face before Celestia interrupted their conversation.
“Okay, now that that craziness is over, Cadance, would you like to call an additional witness to the stand?”
Cadance stood up. “Why yes, your honor, I would. For my next witness, I’d like to call Mayor Mare to the stand!”
The Mayor of Ponyville got up from her seat and took her place at the stand.
Celestia turned toward Cadance. “This is a very influential witness, Cadance. One that carries much weight. Good work, as always.”
“Thank you, your honor.” Cadance smiled and briefly bowed to Celestia.
“Trixie objects to this outrageousness!”
“What is it now, Trixie?” Celestia said, groaning.
“Mayor Mare wasn’t even present at the incident. This witness has no relevance to the proceedings.”
“Mayor Mare is a character witness, your honor,” Cadance stated with a huff.
“I’ll allow it,” Celestia replied. “Now shut your mouth until she’s done Trixie or I’ll hold you in contempt of court, understood?”
Trixie grumbled and sat down.
“Thank you once more, your honor,” Cadance said. “Some of us are trying to keep these hallowed halls dignified. Anywho, Mayor Mare, I’d like to ask you some questions about the defendant.”
The Mayor nodded her head. “I’ll tell you everything I can.”
“Tell me, how would you describe Spike the dragon? Please, feel free to be open and honest.”
Mayor Mare cleared her throat and began. “He’s a nuisance.”
Gasps could be heard throughout the whole room, causing Spike to sink into his seat.
Cadance nodded. “I see. But, if you will, please expound on that conclusion for the courtroom, if you would.”
“Why yes, I would love to.” She looked around the courtroom. “Spike the Dragon has done nothing with his time in my town but waste tax dollars and cause a regular headache for myself and the city council.”
“Trixie demands an explanation!” The blue mare shot up out of her seat and pointed at the mayor. “My client is nothing if not a model citizen.”
“Your honor,” Cadance protested, “if I recall, it was the Mayor’s turn to speak.”
“Quiet, Trixie, before I revoke your magic practicing license for the next millennium.” Celestia rubbed her temples and turned back toward the Mayor. “I apologize, but please continue.”
“As I was saying,” the Mayor cleared her throat, “he’s nothing but a drain on our town’s resources and a major strain on every ounce of goodwill I have.”
“Could you please give us a specific example for the sake of context?” Cadance said.
“Of course,” she replied. “Several years back, it was a peaceful day in town, all my citizens were simply trying to enjoy the life they’d been given, when our little resident dragon decided to turn into a towering behemoth and destroy half my town!”
Cadance threw her hoof over her mouth. “No! You don’t say?”
“Yes, I do say!” she said. “In one unparalleled act of greed and distaste for all that polite society represents, this individual, and I use that term generously, ravaged my town, caused hundreds of thousands of bits in damage and even injured several other citizens in his act of dominance and greed. I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life.”
Trixie rose to her hooves once more. “Your honor, this is outrageous. My client is not on trial for an incident that happened years ago. He’s here for an incident that happened but a few days ago. This information is useless!”
Celestia shook her head. “It is true your client cannot be tried for any previous crimes today, but it does go to show the personality of the defendant and whether he’s the kind of individual who could display the actions he’s accused of. Continue, Mayor.”
“Well, to put it bluntly, he’s a drain on resources, a massive insurance risk to everypony in town and I find it entirely believable that he committed the crimes he’s been accused of. And to put it in perspective, Berry Punch is nothing but a fantastic citizen. That’s all I have to say on the matter.”
“Thank you very much for your honest testimony, Mayor Mare,” Cadance said, turning toward the audience. “As you can see, it is clearly evident that the dragon in the courtroom today is one that would not hesitate, no, would go out of his way to cause difficulty in the lives of others.”
“I’m sure everypony here today can have respect for what the Mayor has had to go through. We appreciate your testimony.”
Trixie rolled her eyes and looked at Spike. “This is getting serious, Spike. We need something big.”
Spike deadpanned. “You think? She just gave me a death sentence.”
“Speaking of which, The Great and Powerful Trixie thought she was the most hated pony in town. But it would appear you’re giving me a run for my money.”
“Oh, shut it. If I’m going down, you’re going down with me and you’re not getting your three bits.”
Trixie gasped. “You can’t do that.”
“I can… and I will. You’d know that if you bothered reading the contract I made you sign.”
“Hmph.” Trixie said with a frown. “Well, however right you may be, my next plan of action is sure to win us this crowd.”
“Hopefully it turns out better than your last witness.”
“Don’t worry, it will.”
Celestia cast her gaze upon Spike and Trixie. “Well, for all intents and purposes it would strongly appear that you, Spike, are indeed guilty. However, I’m held by the standards of the law of this land to hear out your side of the case in full. So, Trixie, if you would like call a final witness to add volume to your case of innocence, you may do so now. But I swear, if I have to call security again, you both are getting sent to the moon. Are we clear?”
“Have no fear, your honor,” Trixie said, gracefully rising from her seat. “That will not be necessary, because I call the Plaintiff, Berry Punch, to the stand!”
Cadance hopped to her hooves. “I object. Hasn’t the defense put my client through enough trauma already?”
“I agree, this is a most unusual turn of events,” Celestia said, rubbing her chin. “But, this hasn’t been a usual trial by any stretch of the imagination. I’ll allow it.”
“Ha!” Trixie cheered. “Take that you pink pincushion!”
“Trixie, don’t push it,” Celestia said, narrowing her eyes. “And I’m adding an additional mark to your client’s case file for the use of a nonsensical insult. Now, proceed.”
“Ahem, yes, your honor. Now, as I was saying, Berry Punch, come to the stand.”
Berry made her way to the stand. “I will do as you ask, for the sake of justice.”
Trixie snickered and walked over to her. “Heh, the only justice getting served today is a fat plate of it that’s gonna be slammed in your face!”
“Trixie!” Celestia scolded.
“Yes, I apologize. However, my point remains the same that justice must be served, here and now. So, in light of this, I’m just going to ask the Plaintiff a few simple questions, questions that will undoubtedly bring the truth to light.”
“Fire away,” Berry replied.
“Very well,” Trixie said. “Berry Punch, tell me, how long have you known the defendant?”
“I’ve known of him for a few years, since he and the Princess moved to Ponyville. But we’ve never really taken the time to interact. That was, of course, before a few days ago when he decided a simple ‘hello’ wasn’t sufficient.”
“Please, stick to the questions I ask. The taxpayers have little time for your nonsense.”
“Are you threatening my client?” Cadance called out.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie would never stoop to such barbaric levels, unlike your client and her outrageous claims. Now, let Trixie finish.”
Cadance scrunched her face and returned to her seat.
“Now,” Trixie continued, “before this fictional incident, have you ever had any negative personal contact with Spike?”
“Well, no, but like I said, we never really—”
“Ha! As you can see your honor, this whole incident is contrived by the mind of a pony possessed! Possessed with naught but ill will toward my client and a fierce burning desire to make his life miserable.”
“That’s not true!” Berry Punch shouted. “I have no ill-will toward anypony. I simply have a strong distaste for the way society trains other individuals, primarily male, to think they’re superior and deprive me of my rights. And that’s exactly what Spike, that animal over there, did! By stealing my drink and making his raucous threats toward me, I’ve never been so offended or felt so betrayed by my fellow citizens.”
Trixie tried to interject, but was cut off by the barrage of tears flowing from the pony on the stand.
Celestia thrust a hoof at Trixie and then at Spike. “I think I’ve heard enough. All you two have done is bring a charming young pony to tears with your virulent and unprovoked behavior. What do you have to say for yourself, Spike?”
Spike stood up and approached Celestia. “I understand this looks bad and Trixie probably wasn’t the best choice for a representative, but I guarantee you this is all fictional! Ask Twilight, Rarity, even Starlight! They can all vouch for me. All I attempted to do was be friendly to a stranger and it blew up like this, in a storm of malicious lies and hoof-pointing. I’ve made mistakes, we all have, but I would never go out of my way to bring a fellow citizen down like this. I apologize ma’am, but this is nonsense.”
“Excuse me, Spike?”
“Yes, your honor?”
“Did you just assume my gender?”
*****
“I can’t believe this,” Spike said, emitting a loud groan. “You said we had it in the bag!”
“You can’t believe it? The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn’t belong in a dungeon! It’s all your fault!”
Spike sighed. “Well, look on the bright side. Two weeks down… only a thousand years to go.”
The End
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My brain is full of wat
8217594
That’s the way I like it, broski.
The part at the end killed me xD
While I do agree with SJWs on certain things (as in, things need to change and there are major social issues that need to be tackled)...my gosh, is Berry exaggerating gender politics!
This is why I go on blogs that have peaceful discourse that genuinely aims to educate people rather than hang them out for making the tiniest “wrongdoings.”
I loled, I cringed, I hated it and I loved it
*clicks upvote*
I feel like this completely missed the mark.
Downvoted. Sorry bby.
8217775
It's okay. Much love.
I love this as much as I HATE this
...
Thank you
8217825
My thoughts exactly. It's terrible in the best possible way.
... What the hell?
I wondered when you would try your hands at a troll type story again.
The name of this story reminded me of this
8217890
Yeah, it was high time to write something for the sake of just blowing off some steam again. How you been?
8217899
busy. Truck’s been having more trouble lately and work 10 hours a day four and soon, five days a week
8217907
I know the feel, man. I’m on vacation right now, but my usual schedule is 50 plus hours a week. Glad to hear you’re hanging in there, though.
So bad it's good *clicks upvote and favorite*
8217915
Thanks a bunch, man!
8217917
Not a problem them SJW’s need a brain recheck
8217912
Just barely, but somehow. It gives me a better chance to get stuff done and makes it go better, but I’m there from 10-8:30 wanting to just go home and relax
8217919
Everyone’s entitled to an opinion, but I just wanted to write something for fun where I didn’t have to think too hard, lol.
As the standing president of my community college’s ‘Genders & Sexualities Alliance’, I approve of this message.
WHAT THE F-”brain explodes”. Okay, good story, funny ending. I'm kinda hoping for a alternate ending if you can. Other than that, the story was in my opinion , really good.
I am pleased that this is the first story entered into the contest. Excited to read over it!
8217986
It was not easy to write Spike in anything but the undeservedly bright light I usually cast him in, but I made an exception. Also, we’re allowed two entries, right? Because I want to try my hand at a more serious topic story as well. I just needed to get my feet wet with this one.
8217999
Yes you are. Please do.
... What.
Hmmmmmmmm....
In my heart, I will ship BerryXSpike.
She obviously had fantasized all that jazz.
A feminist Muslim genderqueer SJW professor and antifa was teaching a class on gender studies.
“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Hillary Clinton and accept that she is the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than knighty from fimfiction.net!”
At this moment a rational, logical, egalitarian internet debate champion who had over 30,000 comment karma and understood the necessity of unfettered free speech and fully opposed all Tumblr posts stood up and held up a picture of a homeless man.
"How privileged is this man?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite Cultural Marxistly and smugly replied, "Maximally, you misogynistic racist." (He could not call her heckler stupid, because that would be ableist.)
"Wrong. If this man is privileged, why is he homeless?"
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and laptop onto which an episode of Dear White People was loaded. She stormed out of the room crying his feminist tears. The same tears feminists cry for "rape victims" (who today live in such luxury that most are not immediately beheaded for adultery) when they jealously try and claw freedoms away from innocent men for literally no reason.
The students applauded and all declared themselves classical liberals and accepted Sargon of Akkad as their lord and saviour. A red-and-black alicorn OC named "Rational Logician" cantered into the room and sat next to a Gadsen flag, shedding a single tear. Socrates himself showed up and liberated the SJW-infested university with the power of asking a bunch of annoying questions. (He died for this shit, you know.)
The professor lost her tenure and was fired the next day. He fell victim to the the SJW plague autism and was tossed into cringe compilations for all eternity.
MAGA
PS: suspend social justice courses
8218256
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/f5/c8/8d/f5c88d9aff048dd2fba4708746924ccd.gif
I don't get it also the title is a quote from sandlot when Benny the jet Rodriguez was talking to Babe Ruth the great Bambino
8218321
One of the greatest movies ever made.
Yes definitely
twas an honor to preread
This hurt to read.
Fristly whut? Secondly, while interesting and somewhat a comedy it's Monday painful to read when you have a good idea of who spoke tends to be.
And lastly, why a spike must suffer as a topic? Random pick from a hat or purposely hard subject?
You screwed Spike!
8219144
it pained me, but I had to. Rules of the contest.
Uh, wouldn’t Equestria be a Matriarchy? Eh, who cares, this is hilarious.
Also, have some amazing sorta-fitting music:
And before his sentence was carried out, he showed them why it's really good to be a dragon an managed to burn down most of Ponyville.
<_< >_>
Well, at least I feel a bit better now, anyway...
8217925
A humorous topic that doesn't require you to think too hard? Social justice CERTAINLY meets those requirements.
Berry Punch was found with flourishes and bows tightly tied around her neck and hooves sewn to an old apple tree covered in confetti and streamers her body pummeled from the forces of a sonic rainboom, her eyes pecked out by a murder of crows and an empty soda bottle stuffed you know where. A $50,000 bit reward is offered to find the ones who did this... No witnesses have come forward.
8268750
Spike's Bail has been paid off mysteriously...whoever di all this wanted to leave a warning...Don't Mess With Spike!
Hey...hey... Spike and Trixie are stuck in a hole together.
Hello!
I have reviewed your story as part of the Reviewer Cafe! As always, I thank you for the time, effort, and hard work you have put into the creation of this narrative, and I hope you find my review to be helpful.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/211585/reviewers-cafe/thread/308771/reviews?page=8#comment/6290375
8682521
So, I'm actually shocked this story got accepted. Let me tell you the story behind this fic.
It was my first story on this site after over a year of inactivity. It was for a contest about making Spike suffer. Be that as it may, Spike is my favorite character, so I had to make it a bit satirical. Even more, though, the favorite characters of the people hosting the contest were, you guessed it, Cadance and Berry Punch, so I had to call them out.
I also wrote another fic for the contest, I'm Lost Without You, that actually won the whole thing. I would submit it, but it was already accepted like four months ago.
I'm just really happy that you like this story, because as you can see, quite a few people didn't.
8682544
Indeed. I'm shocked that I accepted it too. But, I mean, it worked for me. I saw where you were going, and I thought you executed the satirical concept you were going for well. I totally understand why some people would hate stories like this. "None of this makes any sense, no one would ever belittle Spike like this." or "The grounds for his arrest make no sense."
But the underlying premise you provided was a huge exaggeration of events that certain individuals do in real life, which blow certain things completely out of proportion. Given the extreme circumstance you provided, and fleshing out the narrative's prose with a comedic overtone and well placed jokes, and this is what is rendered. And isn't that the point of a satire?
I, for one, will not reject a satirical narrative solely on the grounds that the situation is entirely inane, as I view it as a legitimate and sound storytelling technique. My friend, I'd say you earned the acceptance.