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Found, and adopted by the Princess of the Night, Daniel must find his place in this world where no creature big, or small has ever seen something like him. Follow the Prince of Equestria in his adventures, and his growing group of friends. There will be many foe's to come, but will Daniel be able to handle them all, or will he succumb to this worlds war bound horrors.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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If I had a Euro for every time I'd seen a story with this name and premise, or some variation if it, I'd be a very rich woman indeed. You also need to work on your grammar. It's only barely legible as is. The whole description is one long run-on sentence with no commas.
8201857
And I understand that miss but like i said in the authors note of the first chapter it's my first story that I want to finish but thank you for your input although in all due respect please say it with more kindness no one likes a person that tells an artist his work is "unoriginal" I put a lot of thought and effort into this story and wish for you to give my hardwork some respect thank you again for taking the time to read and comment on my story and I hope you at least enjoyed it a little.
Ho, nice. Another 'son of Luna' story I like those. I will read it later, Just one smile advice. points and commas are your friends. Use them wisely.
8202939
Thank you for the advice I greatly appreciate it and it has already been noted I'll be sure to edit it soon I just hope you enjoy what I have so far and chapter 3 will be here soon ☺️ If anyone has questions or things to add just add a comment I'll respond as soon as I can
Ho! It's a self-insert story. You forgot to put that in the character tag.
A baby with an adult voice. Creepy.
8203682
No no he sounds just like any other young boy nothing weird like that
new chapter pls
8213159
Don't worry just finishing the final touches on chapter 3
it just keeps getting better and better keep up the good work man
8220380
Thank you for the compliment i truly hope u enjoy it I'll be working on chapter 4 very soon!! 😊
Your entire long description is a massive run-on sentence.
After looking, it also appears that you’d greatly benefit by having someone more knowledgeable in writing lend a hand in teaching you how to better structure your sentences. They’re all quite rough, and just barely readable. You’ve got a lot of potential growth ahead of you, if you push yourself for it.
8220578
I thank you for your input and by the sounds of your knowledge I would assume u are offering to help me out a bit?? If so, please know that I have nothing to compensate you for your trouble apologizes for that. However again only if you are offering your assistance and guidance I'd be most appreciative and will be greatly honored by your kindness. Please PM me if you would like to get started.
That description is...
Well, Spacecowboy already hit the bulletpoints. I don’t really see any point in repetition.
What you need is an editor of some sort, somebody to go over your story with you. Somebody to be completely honest, and to tell you what you’re doing right and what you’re doing wrong. I’m not... incredibly busy at the moment, my main source of editing work having taken a break from his writing, so I might be able to assist in some capacity. If my help is not what you wish for, then I suggest approaching one of the many editor groups on this very site. Plenty of people willing to render their services for the sake of helping someone out.
8220824
I wouldn't mind your help at all but I should warn you I don't have anything to repay your help in the slightest so if you still wanna help me I'd be more than happy to accept
Welp, I've just ruined Daniels speaking by imagining him with Salad Finger's voice
8277655
Who's That and if u wish to hear my voice check out my YouTube channel search daniel scratch animations
8278672
https://youtube.com/watch?v=M3iOROuTuMA
8278676
No.....daniel is nothing like that I hadn't even considered that as his personality
8278708
I know, it just sort of happened in my mind.
8278728
It's ok I understand
i like it more pls
8311785
thank you and, I will definitely make more
What an amazing story, please keep going.
8332059
already started chapter 5
Great story, I like it
cute
why did i get lullaby for a princess flash backs
can we get a bonus chapter on what happened to the guy cause i'm curious
8507202
absolutely I'm already working on it!!
8523301
What "guy" are you referring to?
8536555
the son maybe in the form of documents to see what type of test where done on the poor kid
8536564
that will be done sooner than you think although you may not like it
8536567
then i already like it lol well good luck to you
8523271
I wanna give that kind of impression to the story believe me you will love this (at least I hope you all will)
NANI?! tyrentlstia is here
8622518
I believe war brings out the best and worst of people the same can be said about ponies even the ones that are seen as a motherly figure in the cannon series
8622656
while that is true I can see what will happen to the child (that may or may not cause his demise) and luna turns into nightmare moon
8622658
while i wont divulge too much on what i have planned this does play a part in nightmare moons creation
8622682
when it does happen can i say I called it?
8622748
i suppose you can
8622751
jes
3 things
1 DAWWW
2 it seems like vynl has taken up the father figure
3 his first crush dawww
Yes, that's what I'm going for hehe i hope you are enjoying the story so far!
a little fast with the crush thing it woulf be adorable if the kids didnt know they had a crush on one another for like years
8731685
THEY don't realize a thing, its everyone around them that does.
8731688
okay that is adorable
8731697
hehe that's the idea, i just hope i can keep entertaining my readers
Waiting for Celestia to accidentally kill Starry trying to get rid of Daniel.