• Member Since 28th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen 59 minutes ago

Gravity012


I figured it was time I wrote something here. Done.

T

A human wakes up in the everfree before the events of nightmare moon. Or adult Luna and Celestia. Oh, and he’s a bird. A magical bird, but still a bird.

Chapters (40)
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Comments ( 1232 )

im enjoying the story so far just slow down a bit like you said in the author's note and you'll be golden

8771197
Yeah, I can’t seem to ever slow down a story. I just don’t understand how to do it. I guess it’s the way my mind works. Any tips on how to slow it down?

8771300
whenever you slow down a story for my own opinion is to explain the events a little bit more but you don't want to over do it. For example if you write a story about a person gong in to equestria you would want to write about how he would get there and how it happened. It would just round up to the type of story you are writing here. remember this is my opinion.

Interesting... I'm gonna track this.

8771711
Actually I had a plan. But then the story took it and threw it out the window. At this point I have a basic outline and a little bit of a plan for some chapters. But I’m pretty much improv writing the rest.

Nice piece of work here

going good so far to me

So I take it the bird in the picture is what the human gets turned into?

Can’t wait for the next

I have a feeling that nightwing is connected to the shadowy figure in some way

8773178
Yes. I made it myself. Like it? Just some photo shop magic, lol.

nice story so far keep up the good work and take your time.

8773255
In a sense yes. Not directly related. Also, (slight possible spoiler) this is before the ‘Everfree forest’ is what it is. As in, all the stuff in the Everfree isn’t contained to that one area. It hasn’t really formed yet, so the monsters just roam the land at this point.

But they were alive in the show so.....nothing bad could happen. Right?

....You stupid Naïve fool, Murphy will have your head.

8776590
Heh heh heh. Oh yes. Bad things shall happen.

A human turned bird? That's a new one. =D *favorites it to read tonight*

8777209
Lol, that’s why I had to write it. Never seen a human turned bird before. I though of one with a human as a magic wielding wood pecker, or cardinal. But I never really liked the idea. Then this happened.

This is a great read so far and concept you don't read vary many story's like this

Also little woona is so cute :pinkiehappy:

8777217
there is one name "One bad egg". It is about a person turned cryo-pheonix. It is good but never got past the introduktion of the character and world.

8777489
Aaaaw. That’s sad. I would have read it. Love mythical creatures. And phoenixes are op. Especially in Ark: survival. Lol

Well, this is just fun; I look forward to tomorrows chapters.

yay more chapters

great story so far i'm really enjoying this so far it's something new keep up the good work.

here's a name it's kinda basic though silver anvil and the mark is a anvil can be a unicorn or earth pony

Load stone an earth pony who is oversized like big mac but with darker coloration gray and brown. Cutie Mark is a round stone

Can I have my original character?

Bullseye, ash grey Earth pony, green eyes, brown mane, age 23, fairly built although a little on the short side, mark is a target with crossed Spears, or star whichever you prefer. Could be whatever you would like for him to be. One thing I pride myself and in my OC is loyalty to those I call friends. Just a trait I'd like to see if you deem him worthy to use.

Edit: forgot to mention you can change his sex if it suits you, names' pretty good for both genders

I'm just gonna leave my character and if you use its up to you.

Name: Kaffeine Rush
Male
Age: 26
Bio: Small town cafe owner,
Appearance: Purple mane and tail, grayish blue body, Cyan eyes.
Cutie mark: A coffee mug full of coffee.

I'm loving the story so far! Looking forward to more :)

Comment posted by Gravity012 deleted Mar 6th, 2018

8778736
Coffee hasn’t been invented yet. Lol. Only reason I won’t use him. Yet.

8778952
So, that means it possible to see him into he future. Sweet!

How about this character for the current moment.

Name: Lavender Kettle (supposed to be Kaffeines wife but this is an exception)
Female
Age: 21
Bio: Herbalist and Maker of delicious tea.
Appearance: Green and blue striped mane, Light red almost pink body, Orange eyes.
Cutie mark: Teapot with a stick of lavender poking out the top

8778978
I’m sure I can manipulate time so one of her decedents with a passed down name meets up with Caffeine. Lol. Also yeah, I’ll use her.

8778462
Am I allowed to make alterations to your character?

8778603
Can I turn him into a pegasus guard mare? Same cutie mark and name. I just need a pegasus. And some unicorns.

Edit: never mind lol.

So tell me what you think of my first story!! Any mistakes! To fast? To slow? To stupid?

HHHHmmm for the first chapter it's okay I guess, after that I would like a slower pace, especially if you plan to include adventures, I hate it if they go into a fight after fight after fight. I mean it looked like he was just as special as Celestias bird, which leaves me wanting to have some sort of weird bird crush story there.

I saw enough main chars being not a wimp in a relationship lately (the easy blushing and everything), but to be honest if something like that should happen with Philomina?, then I would prefer it if that bird isn't just embrassing him with every action. I could expect him getting flustered because of the new situation or something liket hat.

8779096
Eeeeeeeeeeh. Not gunna be a romance. I’m not that good at writing yet. Plus, I don’t know if I could manage a ‘bird’ romance. But maybe? I’ll think about it. More than I have anyways.

“Tia!?” She asked in a high voice as she looked up. Seeing a giant hawk didn’t sit well with her. “Aaaah. Tia, save me!!” She yelled into the forest as she cowered on the ground. I looked around expecting another pony to jump out and start attacking me. When non came I got confused. Was she alone?

Wait how big is he?

“Incredible! Each feather is capable of an advanced illusion spell!!”

1. awww I hoped the teeth think was kind of a real thing.
2. He probably did a spell or something, but for a moment I didn't liked the thought of Starbeard the weird one, finding out about his feathers with just looking at it.

I try to give him a fair chance, for this and that reason I'm not a big fan of Starswirls, I mean I didn't liked his first appearance in the show and my hate mostly comes from the fact, that a while some authors didn't allowed any Unicorn to get somewhat strong, just because they didn't wanted them to be as good or better than Starswirls.
That is why I think I might as well give him a change here, but please try to do something unique with him and not only following only his personality from the show or other stories.

It's better than I thought, but starting with a story can be difficult sometimes, but after I got the first chapter done it is always slightly easier.

The Tia picked him up and started flying up to the city. Luna looked right at me before following her sister. I followed as closely as I could but it was hard once they got in the city. Luckily, Tia’s pink mane made it slightly easier.

I kind of hope he did a mistake and it isn't just a natural connection thing, but then again that might be okay.

I changed my feathers to look like a dark window and landed on the ledge.

First I imaged a bird, then I imaged a giant bird, then I imaged a slightly taller bird.

“Yeah! Besides, I’m sure mister hawk can help us! Right!?” She asked as she looked up at me. What!?

I will see if I like the fact that she could see him or not.


8771300
I also wouldn't mind more party banter (if they talk and do a bit more casual stuff like maybe later Luna playing with her bird (him). I don't need it to skip right to the action or something like that. I guess that and the other tip with the "explaining" is something you can do.

I have not much to say about this chapter, maybe because of my headache. Well the only thing I thought was that maybe they would find the torn apart animal and at least Luna would be grossed out/ scarred.
I mean it doesn't has to mean that nothing can scare the little one.


8773324
Well not bad, only that it slightly looks more like something else than a hawk, probably because of his colours.

8779104
well I imaged it more as a side thing, something for funny gags. I noticed that they aren't at that part of the timeline anyway.
Maybe let him live a long life?, that could make a sequel possible and you could skip right to the part where Twilight is in ponyville.
Since I would want Twilight to be suprised about the bird to, not sure what you could do, maybe he get's hurt in a battle that makes him sleep a long time or he is so loyal that he joins Nightmare Moon and gives her her strong ilusion powers?

8779143
He’s about the size of a pony.

8779159
Let’s just say that ponies were less sheltered back then?

8779169
Did you guess what power he shares with a Phoenix? Or did you skip the author note? Lol.

Loving this story! Can't wait for next chapter!

8779081
Sure have fun with it I can't wait to see what you come up with.

8779056
Yay! Thank you!

8779237
If you mean the part in the spoiler zone, then I guessed it, to be sure I looked again in the authors notes, but I guess the part you mean is still coming. edit: I haven'T finished it yet.

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