First Step

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Comments ( 13 )

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IndigoMoon

IndigoMoon #1 · May 6th, 2017 · 2 · ·

I thought it was a nice balance between the two. While there was some clop-esque elements, you didn't go into extreme detail, but on the other hoof (as it were) the way you wrote it preserved the way it felt when you wrote PG romance. All in all: 11/10. As Han Solo said: "Great, kid! Now don't get cocky!"

Rose Quill

Rose Quill #2 · May 6th, 2017 · 1 · ·

8143682

I doubt that I'll do another like this in continuity...it just isn't something I see fitting well with the feel of the rest of the universe. It's not that I'm uncomfortable with the subject matter, I just want a consistent tone in the timeline, and this skirted the line.

Maybe a stand alone or a commission, yeah, but the rest of the continuity, not so much.

IndigoMoon

IndigoMoon #3 · May 6th, 2017 · · ·

8143695 Yeah, that's what I figured. Just a "Here, I did it. Happy?"

Wolfkin

Wolfkin #4 · May 6th, 2017 · · ·

8143700

There's also a kind of message, "Here's how it's gonna work. Now imagine the other couples in their place."

Risque. That's the work I was looking for earlier in my return IM while proofing this one. A bit risque, but no real line crossing and very nicely done. Congrats to the new (soon-to-be-)parents!

Rose Quill

Rose Quill #5 · May 6th, 2017 · · ·

8143700

Oh, if I get enough clamor for clop I'll do a one off with the same care I give most of my stories (cue flashback to past me writing bad Star Wars fanfiction before the prequels debuted) and it won't be any of my current pairings.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Dream of Ponies

Dream of Ponies #6 · May 6th, 2017 · · ·

Little sad it came to this; the whole magic potion allows two mares to have a fully biological baby trope. It would have meant more to me to see them deal with the other options of having a baby of their own, IVF sperm donor ect ect. Seems like too much of a deus ex machina to both have their cookie and eat it so to speak. I know magical world magical solutions blah blah but it doesnt sit well with me regardless. Still gonna continue reading your stuff as i enjoy it but just thought id bring up the little gripe i had with it.

Rose Quill

Rose Quill #7 · May 6th, 2017 · · ·

8143796

I understand fully and appreciate your honesty. However...

I haven't exactly been writing in chronological order for Homecoming since Legacy ended. There is still a good year's worth of talk and research - because let's face it, there are two Twilights involved - that has the potential to crop up soon.

MySisterBroughtMeHere

MySisterBroughtMeHere #8 · May 6th, 2017 · · ·

I know you've said in your blogs that you were worried about getting this story to work out properly, so I'll say this. This was an absolutely splendid read; you didn't leap too far into lemon-territory with all of its details and such, but you also kept it within the same subtly written passionate romance you've successfully carried in the continuity thus far. Keep up the good work.

IndigoMoon

IndigoMoon #9 · May 6th, 2017 · · ·

8143745 *overly dramatic swallow* GULP!!

dream1990

dream1990 #10 · May 6th, 2017 · · ·

i like it and i want you to make more chapters for this story

Kittamaru

Kittamaru #11 · May 19th, 2017 · · ·

It was a little saucy but tastefully so, and even without a lot of exposition, was romantic and cute as well. Well done!

Kittamaru

Kittamaru #12 · May 19th, 2017 · · ·

8143796 truth be told, though, Equestrian magic makes as much sense as anything else, given what we've seen them do already. I feel what you are saying though ;)

ClosetBrony