• Published 20th Dec 2016
  • 2,026 Views, 133 Comments

Amphorae - Dave Bryant



After being defeated and effectively destroyed, the sirens are shattered vessels. Can a youth social worker help them glue themselves back together into something resembling whole people? • A Twin Canterlots story

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Epilogue

The glorious early-spring morning burnished a sweeping panorama of the city sprawled across the valley, from the ambitiously high-rise downtown immediately below to the distant orchards and fields of Sweet Apple Acres, blue and hazy where they nestled amidst the woods flung like a rich carpet across the foothills and the edges of the basin’s floor. The faithful old panel van labored along the switchbacks winding up the side of the tall ridge that towered over the skyscrapers, close now to its destination at the crest.

Four female voices rose from the open windows in a merry, if not especially tuneful, round. Rose sounded no better, but really no worse, than the three teenage girls in the back seat. She never had much musical talent or inclination, but today was special. Like everything else about the slowly healing sirens, their singing voices—once dependent on their magic for their superb, beguiling sound—were being rebuilt from scratch. They had a long way to go, but they’d learned a new determination, and any time they faltered in their journey, those around them were ready to help them back to their metaphorical or literal feet. The phlegmatic driver concentrated on his task, and if his brow was furrowed, who was to say whether it was due to the difficulty of the narrow, winding road or of listening to the caterwauling around him?

At last the van made one last turn and emerged onto the expanse of a parking lot beside the buildings clustered on the ridgetop. An observatory dome dominated the complex, but other, smaller domes echoed its lines. The driver had his choice of slots. On a weekday in the off season there usually weren’t many tourists around. He pulled onto a nearby stall and set about shutting down his vehicle with a definite air of relief.

“Here we are, girls!” Rose called as she bounced out of her seat through the open door.

Adagio, Aria, and Sonata all piled out and looked around. They’d never made it up here before, and when the view caught their eyes, they stood and stared. “Wow,” Sonata breathed before taking off for the waist-high concrete safety wall; in her eagerness to take in the view she nearly toppled over it. Noises of mingled amusement and alarm arose from the other three as they followed more sedately.

They stood for several minutes in silence, gazing out over the land. Finally Aria spoke up. “So . . . why are we here?” When Rose looked over at her, she continued a bit defensively, “I mean, this is great and all, but we coulda come up here with Mr. Rhetor and Ms. Harmonia. It’s just you today, Ms. Brass.” She gestured inarticulately.

Rose smiled. “We’re here to meet a few people.” With that she turned around, beckoning the three of them to do the same.

Walking across the lot toward them were three young women. Sunset Shimmer was flanked by a pair who looked like identical twins trying to dress and style differently so people could tell them apart. Even now, the sirens gasped and tensed, sidling closer together—and to Rose, who blinked in mild startlement. “It’s okay, girls,” she reassured them. “Good news, I promise.”

The other trio stopped a few feet away. “Adagio. Aria. Sonata,” Sunset greeted them. “You’re looking . . . good. Really.”

The sirens’ mouths flapped briefly, but finally Adagio managed, “Th-thanks, uh, Sunset. Why are you here?” After a moment, realizing how that sounded, she waved her hands hastily. Thin scars on the undersides of her wrists were clean and already starting to fade, as much as they ever would.

Sunset, Princess Twilight, and Sci-Twi all grinned understandingly. It was a reasonable enough question, even if not exactly politic. “The princess has something for you.” With that, Sunset edged back half a step.

Her Highness pulled a rolled, sealed scroll from a pocket in her jacket and stepped forward, arm outstreched to offer it. “This is for all three of you.”

Adagio reached out and took it, then, with trembling fingers, broke the seal and unrolled it. The other two crowded around to read over her shoulders. As they did, three pairs of eyes widened, and three jaws dropped, comically.

“You’ve been pardoned,” Twilight explained unnecessarily, plainly unable to keep mum any longer. “So now you have a choice, when you’re ready to make it. On which side of the portal will you want to live?”

Author's Note:

At the last minute I realized an epilogue would help the story’s balance and symmetry. Questions raised early on are reprised. The sirens still have a lot of rough edges, but have made some progress. The ending is a “Lady or the Tiger” style of cliff-hanger, albeit a more positive one than the original. The setting takes advantage of the city map released recently, in advance of the episode-length videos scheduled for summer 2017; the location of the observatory reminds me strongly of Lick Observatory, visible from all of Silicon Valley, where I live, or Griffith Observatory above Los Angeles.
   After writing the epilogue I realized it coincidentally takes place almost exactly one year after the Battle of the Bands. According to the audio commentary, Rainbow Rocks is set six months after the Fall Formal, which places it . . . in the early spring!

Comments ( 44 )

A lovely note to end on. I'm a hard sell when it comes to siren redemption, but you definitely made this work. Thank you for an eminently readable story. :twilightsmile:

Caterwauling.

Nice. That sounds about right.

Officially moving off my watch list to my recommended shelf.

8038967
I think “readable” probably is the best possible compliment I could get. I want my stories to be like good tea, with low surface tension so they go down easy. :raritystarry:

8039012
Yay! This makes me happy. :yay:

And, really, there’s no other word to describe the racket in question than “caterwauling”. . . .

They are from another reality. They should return. No one knows if the prolonged stay isn't somehow damaging the reality or their bodies. And that's the same reason why Sunset should return.
But also question is if they will be able to survive without their gems. It was a body part. Lets hope it wasn't body part they can't live without in Equestria.

I think that most people agree that any post-Rainbow Rocks storyline about the Dazzlings will end with them having to decide whether to return to Equestria. The particular fanon you have created is a bit more complex because they are younger and have memories of an ancient time, making it harder for them to handle the thought of going to yet another strange land after only just having got used to the human world.

Overall, this was a nice bit of writing that showed a good degree of understanding of the characters and their likely feelings and reactions in their new circumstances.

8040055
Given that the Dazzlings have suffered no ill effects to date then I doubt that the gems are critical to their well-being, only to their magic. Also, there has been no damage to reality caused by other visitors from other dimensions save that they have consciously caused by malicious action. So I don't think that there is any indication that the Dazzlings choosing to stay in the human world will cause any long-term harm.

8040113
Thanks very much! There was a lot of trepidation behind the writing of this one; I felt I was a lot farther out on a limb than with previous stories, not having any in-depth knowledge of social services.
I really do think the scriptwriters intended the sirens to be teenagers, based both on (admittedly scanty) internal evidence and on external likelihoods. Certainly they consistently act like teens!
You are absolutely right about the difficulty of their choice, and the reasons for that difficulty. That’s one reason I left the choice open. If I had to hazard a guess, though, I’d say they probably would stay in the world they’ve spent the last few years in.

8040113
Now they are humans, but we don't know what will happen when they cross to Equestria. Will their siren forms die without those gems? Or maybe the information is stored in the mirror and when they cross their gems will reapear. Also we don't know if loosing gems affected their magic. We only know it affected their singing powers and dark energy gathering. Their magic pool could be untuched.

8230510
Here's a decent summary on 'I F***ing Love Science'.

8233895
Interesting—but as the article points out, this is a single study of a limited sample size. Even the researcher in question admits it’s very preliminary and more study is needed. Moreover, the article’s author notes the paper connected with that study couldn’t be found. Reading it, I couldn’t escape the sense I was hearing the distant sound of grinding axes. All in all, I don’t think I’ll be changing the story. If nothing else, the character is speaking from her own experience and opinion.

8237973
Hmm, yeah. I thought I remembered the evidence being a bit stronger, but I see that four years after talking about it, the researcher still hasn't published. Ah, well, never mind, then.

8238247
Oh! I hadn’t even looked at the date; I’d assumed it was recent. In any event I appreciate the wish to provide new and possibly unknown information!

8311436
It's Star Swirl. The stallion's mind isn't always easy to grasp.

This was a good story. I wish I'd followed it as it was being released, but at least I can make up for lost time.

8523211
It is known to happen sometimes.

Just caught up on a great series. I love the way you broke down how each siren would be most effected by the loss of their magic in a systematic way. I also agree that they were thrown forward in time by Starswirl, and only appeared a little while before Sunset. Besides the comics saying that explicitly, it means the Sirens aren't immortal beings, which in turn means the Rainbooms didn't effectively execute the Sirens by taking away their magic.

One thing that does bug me: While the government system is portrayed quite realistically overall, I am surprised that Captain Rose and others are so accepting of banishment. It's considered cruel and unusual punishment in the United States, and banned by international law. I understand why there would be practical barriers to just returning the sirens to Equestria immediately, but that's the sort of thing Cookie should be filing a protest over.

8618766
Thanks very much for the compliment!

The circumstances under which the sirens were banished are unique even by Equestrian standards, particularly considering the time factor. Protests would be pretty pointless at this late date. Discussion might be more fruitful, but Celestia short-circuited that with the offer of a potential reprieve depending on how well they did.

Rose is pretty pragmatic and has been exposed to other cultures’ ideas of law and punishment. Moreover, whatever her own feelings on the matter, she has to deal with the results as they are, and has to present a confident, unified front to her clients. As stated, she also has misgivings about dumping them, magic-less, back through the portal.

Cook is younger and more idealistic, but he at least has been lectured on how to pick battles, and this is a losing one. If he filed a protest, it likely would be very mild and informal.

8619304

Cook is younger and more idealistic, but he at least has been lectured on how to pick battles, and this is a losing one. If he filed a protest, it likely would be very mild and informal.

That makes sense. Honestly I figured the main reason he would file a protest is to say "see, we care about values and morals just like you ponies do."

(It's interesting to note that in this story, there are no mysterious "Men in Black" secret government agencies, while we know Celestia really did have such an agency that locked up weird creatures in secret jails and had to be dissolved for political reasons.)

Of course, this story was finished before the Season 7 Finale. Now that Starswirl is actually hanging around, a personal apology might be demanded of him.

9229465
The guiding principles for all my writing here on Fimfiction (well, anywhere, really) are:

  • What are the ground rules for these worlds—as expressed in canon writing, interviews or Q&A sessions, and any other utterances by staff—and how can I reconcile absurdities or contradictions in them?
  • What would these worlds look like if they were fully fleshed out, based on how physics, people, and societies actually work?

As stated elsewhere:

I’m here to present the sort of stories I want to tell—and to read. My writing tends to be low-key and fine-grained; it may come as no surprise I enjoy authors such as Lois McMaster Bujold, David Weber, and Tom Clancy, practitioners of dense, cerebral, highly detailed storytelling full of strong world-building or, in Clancy’s case, world-explication.

I'm with FanOfMostEverything on this - Siren redemption stories are rough, not because the Sirens are unredeemable, but because most people don't do it believably. You more than succeeded. This was a moving tale. You spent enough time on the critical elements to tell a full story in few chapters. You didn't unnecessarily sidebar with unneeded characters, everyone had excellent characterization, and the ending was poignant. Top marks!

9457093
Thanks so much; that summation means a great deal, because it indicates I succeeded in my aims for the story. There apparently is some feeling out there the story is rather bare-bones, but you’ve nailed how I approached it. The most basic impetus for the story, really, was the question “how would a modern society, with all its resources and experience, deal with a problem that is unusual only in its details, not in its essence?” Of course, those details do matter and do have a profound influence, but would not be beyond the capabilities of a social-services organization with any budget and flexibility.

I wanted to portray the sirens as what they seemed to be, based on their presentation in Rainbow Rocks and Twilight’s explicit description of them at the end as “harmless teenage girls”. Like Sunset originally was, they weren’t evil so much as selfish—but unlike her possessed the power to indulge that selfishness and sought more out of self-aggrandizement. The thought at the back of my mind was they had no idea how to proceed in any other way, based on their life experience.

Rose was created out of whole cloth, and I am very fond of her as a character. Logos and Harmonia were based loosely on tales from a friend of some late relatives of his I wish I could have met.

This is far and away the best siren redemption fic I've read. It's phenomenally written and the characters are compelling and the resolution is just perfect. Congratulations on an amazing story.

It leaves me wondering what another story with Rose and an EqG antagonist in need would look like. Specifically, Wallflower. The poor girl was so out of control that I can't imagine any world where she didn't erase her family's memories of her, leaving her all alone and unable to support herself without the memory stone. What with Wally being the posterchild for depressed teenagers who hate themselves and the original version of her song literally having a thinly veiled hint at suicidal thoughts, Rose would have her work cut out for her. Imagine Wally desperately trying to reconnect with parents who insist they have no idea who this kid is and want nothing to do with her.

Dang, now I've got my own gears spinning lulz. I'd love to see a Wallflower/Rose story 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

FRICK okay so I was trying to add it to my 5/5 Library and accidentally clicked the wrong one so if you get a notification saying I added this to the not-good-stories library that was by accident I'm so sorry I loved your story please write one with Wally okay I'm sorry 🙏

10292443
When I didn’t see it still in “Oh no” (and that oh-so-apt bookshelf name made me laugh out loud, by the way) I figured that was what happened! I’ve done the same, and I’m sure most folks have at least once. No worries.

As for a story featuring Wallflower . . . maybe. I don’t mean to be coy, but I don’t want to commit to anything without considering it thoroughly—especially taking into account your immediately previous comment, which I’ll address separately.

10292735
Gosh, I guess I shouldn't be surprised by such thoughtful comments after such a thoughtful story.

research and respect for a subject are critical, in my view.

Wanderer D and I had a panel about this subject a few weeks ago actually, you should give it a peek!

My library is almost entirely angst fics, so I get what you mean about writing the kind of stuff you wanna read. There's a certain degree of indignance and "fine, I'll do it myself" attitude to it, if I'm being honest, but that just makes them all the more rewarding.

(okay shameless plugs over lulz)

10292431
Amphorae remains one of my favorite pieces of writing, for a lot of reasons.

Wallflower erasing her family’s memories didn’t occur to me, but while I’m not as convinced as you seem to be, I certainly would consider it plausible. Either way, you’re right Rose would be the best candidate to take on her case, for the same reasons she got the sirens. Since Virga, Rose’s next major appearance, takes place the late summer and early autumn after the Rainbooms graduate, there’s a window of time for it to happen—though the logistics could get complicated; Wallflower probably is on the “no contact” list for the sirens and possibly vice versa.

I’ll take the premise under consideration, though I make no promises. On the other hand, I also am open to the idea of a guest writer taking it up. That’s not intended as a hint, necessarily; in general I welcome that kind of interest in my characters and particular take on the setting.

10292758
10292731
It's really interesting to see your thought process spelled out like this. The bra stuff makes sense I guess, yeah. Bad sirens, tho. Bad. Tiddies are banned in most high schools. Cease with the tiddy-shakin'. (As a fully fledged member of The Gays™, it kills me to say that ._.)

Rose is seriously the highlight of this story for me. It's so incredibly rare to find an original character that really adds to the universe and doesn't feel at all out of place. She feels like she's always been there, and serves as a window into parts of the world Sunset may not have seen as much of in her brief time as a human. Excellent stuff 👌

10292796
Buddy you just opened Pandora's box. Wallflower is my baby.

I might just have to take you up on that. It's a concept I've long wanted to write about--Wally desperately trying in vain to reconnect with her parents--and when she fails, she has to go somewhere. I've written about her being on her own after erasing her parents' memories before, but all those stories have a lot of other factors and traumas that color her choices and where she ends up. A more direct take on it could be super interesting, especially given that again--Wallflower is canonically not in a good place during Forgotten Friendship.

Gosh, yeah there's a lot of potential there. I dunno if I'm the one to do it, mostly cuz I know I could never hope to write Rose as well as you do. I'll definitely keep an eye on you, bud.

10292797 10292811
Being a bi fellow myself, I sympathize re shaking of body parts.

You’ve described my exact goal in creating and writing Rose (and Cook). I seek to portray the wider world around the tiny pocket inhabited by our favorite horse girls, their immediate circumstances, and those to whom they are connected. In short, there is depth and agency to the world at large, and I want to explore what that looks like and how it works.

I never would have guessed how important Wallflower is to you! :trollestia: If you do decide to take a swing at the story premise, I would be pleased to assist in any way I can. If not, I may put it on my “to-do” list.

Is this the only story in this series that the Dazzlings appear in?

10336427
So far, yes, though they are mentioned briefly in several other stories.

Well, in a line, a really enjoyable little read with a surprising amount of depth that I feel this story only scratches the surface of. Well-structured, great pacing, and with some great and refreshing characterisations.

The intro, while a bit cliché, neatly sets up Rose as a character who’s not above playing psychological games in pursuit of a goal. Actually, there’s a hell of a lot in the first couple of chapters that paints Rose… well, exactly how you’ve painted her in the story description. Curt, professional, more than a little brash at first glance but hiding a certain depth in who she respects and why.

I couldn’t help but laugh at her introduction to the trio:

“…but you can call me Ms. Brass”

Ah, such informality! But how she answered Sonata’s question on going home was very telling, and you dropped that little bombshell perfectly. From matter-of-fact, tough-loving businesswoman to almost tender, all from a single look at Sonata’s shattered self.

Anyone who is able to weave the word “chivvying” perfectly into casual description gets bonus points in my book.

I’ve seen so, so many “sad siren” stories where they’re painted more-or-less as ancient creatures, wise beyond worlds and having seen things no mortal could dream of. Yet here you’ve characterised them as simple teenage girls, and it really works. They’re impulsive and reactionary and it’s these things that indicate they need guidance, arguably more than the “mythical being lost in another world” shtick that ostensibly is the reason for Rose getting involved.

For me this teenage-ness was epitomised in Pithos. For all the guile of Adagio’s scheme, it wasn’t to take over the world but a quest for homework answers. Their reactions to the revelation weren’t calculating or contemplative, but highly emotional and frankly violent. They really come across as a group of adolescents with no place in – to them – an uncaring world, and that helps ground the overarching narrative a lot more than if they were as fantastical as the mythology might have one believe.

And yet it’s Rose (sorry, Captain Brass) that steals the show. Hints of an interesting past being woven into a few subtle behaviours around her equals and “superiors”, and yet for all her complexity, it still feels like she fits in with the world of EqG. Right down to the... let’s say her physical appearance matching her outward personality, there’s a certain cartoony quality to her that’s quite enjoyable.

It felt a little like you ended the story where it really got started, so I’m really glad you decided to add the epilogue. Ending the story in a hospital bed felt… a bit ominous even if the tone at the time was positive. As you mentioned in your author’s notes (all of which I loved, by the way), the epilogue went a great way to wrapping up that yes, through a bumpy road, the trio really were on their way to recovery.

All in all, just a really nice story of innocence lost and gradual, if difficult, redemption. Well worth the read.

10354661
Goodness! That is an amazing analysis, and I am pleased and overwhelmed. Some of the small touches you noticed were conscious, others were instinctive, but all of them were deliberate. Even the slightly clichéd opening I felt fit Rose’s character.

Phenomenal stuff. Now, it's time to meet Wally!

10792003
Until I saw stories here, it never occurred to me they might be anything else. The show staff’s obvious intent they are the teenagers Twilight explicitly called them seemed so blindingly clear to me.

10792008
Hey, I like Taco Bell.

But I doubt Logos called out for it. More likely he and Harmonia made the tacos from scratch.

10792004
“Blue” probably isn’t his whole name, but to be honest I have no idea what it is.

10792044
This is another case that it never occurred to me to write it otherwise. I don’t care what one’s age is, the realization “home”—however one may conceive it—is irretrievably lost has to be utterly devastating. If anything, I think it would be worse for someone young.

10792075
That seems a pretty . . . uncharitable interpretation of the statement. Certainly when I read it, I found it warming and reassuring—as FOME intended—because I was able to read in the unspoken subtext “because I’ve been there too and I’m here for you.”

That said, of course it’s better to be clear and explicit in one’s wording, but then that’s part of what distinguishes someone who’s trained in such matters from someone who isn’t, is it not?

10792171
I always defaulted to other information: sirens as mythical creatures, what historic events they were involved in, and Twilight being prone to error. I think this is the only story to believably have them as actual teenagers. I imagine their human counterparts would be the ones who are just normal human teenagers.
10792176
That's how you have proper tacos. Taco Bell has always given me food poisoning, no matter which one I go to. I can diss it if I wanna.
10792179
I imagine it would be something less literal than Cookie Pusher. Blue Blood (not to be confused with Blueblood), Blue Shield, etc.
10792185
I think that age is still important here, since they were kids in the ye olde days. If they were exposed to any death at all in a (possibly?) idealized medieval setting, it does not appear to be as much. There is no one familiar they can go to for mourning, if they can go through a mourning cycle in a well-adjusted way at all.
10792189

That seems a pretty . . . uncharitable interpretation of the statement. Certainly when I read it, I found it warming and reassuring—as FOME intended—because I was able to read in the unspoken subtext “because I’ve been there too and I’m here for you.”

It wasn't intended to be uncharitable, just that the phrase is often used literally to mean that and that alone. They don't have the same weight as saying "I understand" or something more along the line, though in the case of Adagio, what she needed was someone to be there. Aria and Sonata already understood.

10792310
For fan-fiction particularly, I do my best to divine the intent of the creator(s). (I never have been a fan of “death of the author”.) In this case, it seemed so obvious the show staff intended the sirens to be teenagers—not to mention Occam’s Razor suggesting the simplest path is to take at face value a script aimed at pre-teens. To me the idea of Twilight being wrong about it also seems gratuitously tacked on. Moreover, any other interpretation strays into uncomfortable age-difference territory I doubt they, or especially Hasbro, would be willing to wade into. There’s enough of that uncomfortable stuff on Fimfiction as it is.

I’ve never had trouble with Taco Bell, but it’s true any fast-food chain store is only as good as the crew operating it, and I have experienced good and bad examples of most chains I have access to.

Blue Shield definitely seems the likeliest candidate for the good detective’s full name.

The grieving process absolutely will be a difficult one for them, and certainly will be a major factor in their therapy.

As for the last point, I simply have to disagree. I just don’t see the same slant on it, I guess.

10792751

Moreover, any other interpretation strays into uncomfortable age-difference territory I doubt they, or especially Hasbro, would be willing to wade into. There’s enough of that uncomfortable stuff on Fimfiction as it is.

I never shipped them with anyone so that's not a problem for me, at least!

ahhhhhhhh it's a rehabilitation story.

i cannot take it! i am being purified! ahhhhhh!

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