• Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
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DragonShadow


The home of the Shadowbolts Adventures and various other stories, mostly related to Equestria Girls.

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After the defeat of the sirens by Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, and the Rainbooms, Twilight believed they would be rendered powerless normal human girls. When they return claiming to be starving to death without their song magic, will even Twilight Sparkle have it in her heart to let them back into Equestria to feed on the misery they must create? Or will they have no choice but to let death take the sirens?

Co-written by Bootsy Slickmane

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 29 )

Not too unlikely, but certainly well-characterized, and I like the detail of the sirens being beautiful creatures in Equestria. The discussion of "normal" medallionless sirens puzzles me, though, if only because in the film they're simply described as the sirens, with no indications that there are any others.

Hmm, interesting... though why doesn't Sunset go back? She doesn't really belong in the other world, either...

Nice.
I cant really explain it, but it feels a bit... short I guess. Like it could have been more drawn out and parts expanded on. Maybe. I dunno. Good story either way.
5180030
Could be that the word 'the' being used as an intensifier, used to indicated that they, due to their enhanced power as compared to regular sirens are considered the arch-typical examples of their race. And as the only ones powerfull enough to cause a disturbance worth recording in major history texts, are certainly worthy of the intedifier.
'Which Sirens?"
"You know, THE Sirens, the ones who caused so much trouble Star Swirl had to get involved?"
"Ohhhh those Sirens."

This was actually pretty decent.

You did a good job of making the Dazzlings desperate while maintaining their integrity (if that's the right word) as villains. I feel like things moved a little too fast for what the story wanted to do, but I'm not sure where you'd look to expand the story so it felt like it moved along at the proper pace.

5180030

I actually spun that around my head for a while. I thought of making them "the" sirens with their species being the Kelpie (which appeared in FiM Comic issue #23), since their song magic is almost a perfect match for the Kelpie's, but that wouldn't have worked with the premise we set up because that Kelpie clearly doesn't need such energy to survive.

In the end I reached a personal headcanon that the Siren is a close cousin of the Kelpie, in the same way Unicorns are close cousins of Earth Ponies. So close they're pretty much the same, but a subtly different species.

I think the "We have no choice but to be evil" was a bit of a cop-out for them, but this story does work.

5182078 That makes sense. I compare them more instinctively to Windigoes, but then I suppose when the point of your franchise is that friendship is magic, it's inevitable that a lot of your villains will act by disturbing friendship.

I love this story. I thought I'd let yunknown that me and Boots have an idea in mind for a collaborative involving the changelings, sombra, and flash in the crystal empire, and I wanted to know if you're interested in joining in. I'll have to ask him first, of course, but you know how to write smooth stories and convey emotion expertly, and I would love to have you working on it with us.

P.S.

Sometimes showing somepony a little kindness is all they need.” 

even Sunset knows that Fluttershy is best pony.

Sorry I had to.

5182909

It sounds like it would be interesting, but I would run it by Bootsy first if I were you. It's only polite.

5182995 already did and awaiting a reply. I'll let you know the verdict asap

5182218 Yah it is a bit of a cop out. But to be fair, it's easy to go that route when the villans are this.....

mlpforums.com/uploads/monthly_08_2014/post-20419-0-10348200-1408812080.jpg

FEAR THE ULTIMATE EVIL!!!

I liked this a lot, and I especially like how you've presented the Dazzlings. :twilightsmile: The ending bit with Sunset was rather interesting, too, though I'm not entirely sure what to make of it.

Great story! i honestly had no idea how twi and sunset were going to handle that. on one side, let them live and they continue to feed, on the other they die. Not an easy situation. Great job coming up with such a problem for them. Also the solution was agreeable as well. I'm really glad you didn't use plot convenience to tie it up (example being an artifact or spell that they just so happen to know or have that fixes everything) it took some rational thought instead of just magically being available to them. So much kudos for your creativity!

I also really like how everyone stayed in character throughout the story. Even when they were dying.

also on a last note, it was interesting that Sunset calls the human world home now. More closure on the fact she's decided to stay.

I couldnt see anything really that needed correcting or brought to attention.

Great story, keep up the good work!

and here's Derpy :derpytongue2:

also just a quick question to anyone; rainbow rocks answered the question of Twilight's human counterpart (can't wait to see what they do with that) but my question now is, what about sunset shimmer's counterpart in the human world?? :rainbowderp:
just some food for thought to probe your minds.

5196086 wrote : " also just a quick question to anyone; rainbow rocks answered the question of Twilight's human counterpart (can't wait to see what they do with that) but my question now is, what about sunset shimmer's counterpart in the human world??"

Or original Sunset ran away from home, got kidnapped instead, went off to join with some cultists, is actually dead, etc..

5198667
all sound plausible. i'm hoping for cultists! Darker side, she killed her counter part :twilightoops:

Love it. I would think Adagio would tell Twilight would she stop a carnivour from eating meat. Because its what they do. They are Sirens they feed off emotion. their not evil on purpose but for a reason.

Her heart leapt however at the sight that greeted her in the living room.

Generally when you say their "heart leapt" it means they're really surprised in a happy way, like accidentally bumping into your crush. A better way to put it would be "Her heart stopped at the sight that greeted her in her living room."

I was gonna make a list of those, but I got too absorbed in the story and forgot to look :D
The big moral question wasn't really much of a question though, a life is priceless, and we're dealing with a Pretty Purple Pony Princess of Friendship from a magical land of rainbows and unicorns. Seriously though, Twilight isn't a killer. I think she would have a hard time killing someone even if they were about to kill her, though it would be more of an after the fact thing.

Not too bad of a story, although I would like to think that Twilight would have considered consulting Princess Celestia or Luna first or maybe found some way to prove that Sonata wasn't simply sick like any other human. She could even have simply returned Sonata. The story felt a bit short and a tad rushed.

5237672

1: Twilight Sparkle is a full-fledged princess now. Making such decisions is part of her job description. Continuing to run to Celestia every time she has a tough decision to make would undermine her position and make her unfit to hold that position.

2: Returning Sonata would save Sonata, but the other two are in the same danger she is, just in a less-advanced state.

5240637
#1 We're just going to have to disagree there. Twilight is "full-fledged" in name only and, except in political rank, not at all their peer. Celestia and Luna have, at the very least, centuries of experience on her. This is also not just a tough decision, but one which might actually endanger Equestrians. It is a very risky sort of decision to be making, much less to just let the Sirens wander off out of the castle and into Canterlot/Equestira without any supervision or checks. She doesn't even alert the other Princesses of her decisions and the reasons behind it. Twilight has insufficient experience to judge that they've really changed and there is evidence that they can cause a great deal of trouble in even very limited situations and when they are far from being at full power. -- In light of that, not getting Celestia and Luna's opinion and perhaps their permission seems a bad decision to me.

#2 My point there was that Sonata's state made her much less of a plausible threat and her return would, presumably, resolve the immediate risk to her health without increasing the risk to Equestria in a meaningful way. Neither Adagio or Aria were in such a bad way yet. As a result, there would be time to consider the issue at more length

** Based on the actual information Twilight has and the things the others said, author's intent aside, I don't see enough evidence for Twilight to make a reasoned decision. She doesn't have enough familiarity with diseases on the other side of the portal to be able to tell if Sonata is simply extremely ill from a relatively normal virus or if her separation from magic is the real cause. Also, although the Dazzlings might know (they've been there a while) their motives are automatically suspect. There is no reason to think they wouldn't use Twilight's lack of knowledge against her to get what they want.

It's not an easy choice. The Sirens cannot change what they are and I don't think their thought processes are pony-like enough for them to understand ethics, truth or honour. I suppose, if I were Twilight, I'd bind them with a geas that, if they tried to go beyond the necessity of survival ever again, they would not only lose their powers again but would die. Mercy is a great quality but it must be informed by justice and love for those who might fall victim to the Sirens' plots.

Reading that, I think THAT'S how it should have ended for the Sirens. :raritycry:

Good stuff, authorman (or authorwoman... authorpony... whatever, :twilightoops:)
s6.postimg.org/dd47s96ap/Pirate_Approved.jpg

I liked that. I'm writing something similar, though instead of asking Sunset to help, Adagio and crew decide to take more... cough drastic measures.

Sirens could vist hoofball matches and other team sports to gather energy. :pinkiehappy:
Or they could learn to gather energy by spreading positive emotions.

5241794
#2 Moving only Sonata wouldn't solve enything. As we could see she needed energy from the other sirens to slightly recover.

7234357
It's assuming rather a lot that they can gain energy by anything other than negative emotion, unless I am forgetting something. Remember that they are Sirens. Just because their powers and maybe some aspects of their nature are suppressed on "earth" doesn't mean that they will be changed in a lasting way upon their return.

7234374
Care to reference a point? I don't remember that.

7239159

The blue siren was still lying weakly on the floor, but a gentle, almost ethereal hum from the other two seemed to be flowing through the creature, giving it enough energy to at least lift its head.

I was talking about this sentence.

There is lot of negative energy in team sports mainly during football matches. There are thousands people radiating lot of negative energy and sirens wouldn't have to lift a finger. Ideal bufet for sirens.

MJP

i actualy thought about ddoing a story like this, but scrapped it because i din't want the sirens to look like the good guys

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