• Published 1st Jul 2012
  • 4,506 Views, 112 Comments

Shipping Wars - Soothing Stone



When Fluttershy invites Spike to a romantic-ish dance, everypony tries to figure out why.

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Author's Notes

FIrst, thank God it's completed now. Not that it was a burden, but for the last two weeks this was really the only thing I could think about, get the next part of the story written now. That was it. And now that the story's completed, I can finally read some stuff around here again.

But first, before I continue, I would like to apologize for something. Not for the quality, I'm happy how it turned out, but I am sorry about how this story transformed from a spoof of shipping into an actual shipping story. My original plan for Shipping Wars was much less ambitious than it turned out. It was planned to stop after Chapter 2, the chalkboard scene, but then the idea for Big Mac and Cheerilee made me believe I could reach higher than that.

And over time, I stopped activity trying to spoof shipping, and now the story ends with an actual shipping. The reason why I'm sorry is that I apologize for the readers expecting a farce and ended up with the final product. I do think there was some misleading with the early chapters, even if I thought i did a good job, so sorry for that.

One thing I will say, is that there is a possbility that I will continue this story in some fashion or another. If I do, the story will be entirely fixated on Twilight and Luna, and will be entitled "Within the Seas of the Galaxies", and be just a straightforward shipping story. I don't know when it will begin, but it's on my mind and if I do it, hopefully it won't be too far off.

Anyways, that's just about it, and I appreciate the positive feedback I did receive. Shipping is a tricky topic to write about, even if it's comedy, and anytime you do a shipping of any kind it's likely you'll piss someone reading off. So thank you, thank you for the love and support you gave, and a special shoutout to Destinae Spring, who gave me the final push into the last three chapters.

Now, just to see if Equestria Daily likes this shipping business...

ChrisSparatn117/Soothing Stone

Comments ( 23 )

896745
Thanks for pointing it out, the mispelling has been taken care of. Also, starting either tonight or tomorrow, this whole story will go through one big edit, so I'll change a few more errors with the story. But IMO, the hard part's over.

I won't lie I would love to see the next part of this story. I love seeing stories when those "things that would never happen" happen and cause ponies to just go "buwha?!!!?"

917369
I always find it amazing how having childish moments seem to greatly outway the fact he literally takes care of twilight, by cooking for her, cleaning up after our messes. Keeping in contact between her and the princess, and even helping the others out around ponyville.....lets not add to the fact that whatever royal business the princess has him doing he's nothing less than slave labor. One of the few things he even asks for in return his rarity's love and that in itself is still being debated whether or not he will get rarity's heart.

Personally I say they need each other rarity and spike, ignoring the fact spike is literally everything she's looking for, their characters separate is strong, but when their characters are together there is a stronger moment.

Don't ever think you need to apologize for your stories, I really enjoyed it and i'll be the first to admit shipping is not my first choice of genre :twilightblush:

Definitely be interested to see more from you and congrats again on Pinkie Pie Discovers Coffee making the feature box. It's a riot.

921483

I...I regret writing the story like I did. It took a while to realize, but I really wanted to write straightforward romance stories. And in the end...I think the transtition it made from comedy about shipping to shipping was bad. And by the way, I switched my strategy for Within The Seas of the Galaxies. It's not going to be a sequel to this, just its own little thing.

Honestly, I was disappointed with the direction the story turned, as the author's notes said I might be. The first few chapters were good. Really, though, you need to check your writing a few times before publishing. There were quite a few typos and awkwardly-worded sentences that you probably would've caught with some careful proofreading.

980231

Yeah, i might outright delete the story. I'm not proud of it.

980293
It has potential. I mean, quite a few people seem to like it, at least. Excellent premise, sadly somewhat poor execution. Not as good as your Coffee stories. The transfer to actual shipping would have gone better if it went slower (it was waaay rushed) and if during the actual shipping there was more parody shipping, you know? Anyway, I don't mean to discourage you or anything.

980316

I'll just seperate my shipping and romance stories from now on so this doesn't happen again, trust me.

Well, that was fun as hell to read.

I know I'm a few months late, but there really is no reason to apologize for how the story turned out. A good idea and good "rhythm" when doing a piece always makes them take on a life of their own. It's always better when you can be honestly pleased with the result, which you should be.

The beginning of the story flowed very, very well into the end part. There was absolutely no abruptness when the story went from spoof to legit shipping. It felt like such a natural progression that I didn't notice.

I would have liked a bit more "mystical" detail to the Twiluna "merging of the souls", but just me. I was also a little sad to see Fluttershy not get with somepony in the end, but meh. That's creative license.

SweetiexSpike probably stuck out to me the most. Just something about it was just ridiculously adorable. It added some nice comedic foil (due to a lack of Pinkie, which I 100% understand given the setting of the story and her usual characterizations.) to the story before the last chapter and a half shifted focus. :unsuresweetie::heart::moustache:

RariPants was a cute couple as well. In truth, they all were with the right characterizations and natural hook ups in place. You had a great handle of the characters themselves, particularly the Apple family. I was questioning AJ being mad about MacxCherilee, but the scene wrapped that up nicely. A few more contextual hints could have helped there, but again, that's extremely minor.

The last two chapters put Flo Rida's "Good Feeling" going through my head. "Oh oh, sometimes, I get a good feeling..."

Few grammatical issues aside (very, very few and they didn't detract one bit), this was well done. Thanks for doing this piece. :moustache:

Not related to this at all. (Although I did love this story. :yay: :derpytongue2:)
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mailqo3mnO1qmah9bo3_500.gif

I liked this story, so no problems bro!:twilightsmile: Truthfully I did actually think that it had a good start with an ending that did seem true to the show... Okay well MINUS the spicy stuff. The only problem I had with it was that you started off with Fluttershy.... And then just sort of abandond her.... I mean I don't mind so much with Applejack... But mostly because she did still lead a strong role too. Well that and..... Y U NO ADD PINKIE PIE!!!! Sorry... Its just that she's my favorite! And is a part of my all time fav ship!

So this is the story that came before Within the Seas of Galaxies? I like this

I have one problem. And thats all.

The earht pony thought it was amazing, and she couldn't wait to see how Big Mac would respond when he saw her in it.

In the scene wrere Rarity gives Cheerlie the dress.
I think you spelt earth wrong.

917499 i agree with that go Sparity

Love this, but it`s missing something. Oh yeah, FLUTTERSHY, RAINBOW DASH AND APPLEJACK`S PAIRINGS! Fluttershy was such an important character in the beginning and now she just ends up with nopony! Rainbow Dash was mentioned, but nothing was done with her character. Applejack was in it, but never got paired. The whole time I was expecting a surprise where suddenly AJ and RD walk in late and they are... TOGETHER! Or something similar. Basically, they all needed to find somepony and you kind of let me down with that. I still loved the story. Also, Twilight said that she`s into stallions and you also made her freak out so much about Spike romantically that I was afraid that you would ship her with him. Cool story all in all.

An excellent story my good sir. An A for sure but only a A-. This is due to two minor-yet significant-flaws.

1. One flaw is the constant shifting of POV's. Now having multiple POV's is not bad, but shifting POV's every paragraph is guaranteed to confuse a lot of people.
2. The other flaw is how the characters went out of character in terms of your head canon. The only character that suffers from the most is twilight. In chapter 2, she explained to her friends, with much emphasis, that she did not date mares, but later on in the story she becomes bisexual if not gay and accepts Luna's advances. If your heterosexual or gay you do not instantly become gay or heterosexual, and it doesn't matter how much you want someone to be with.

However, other than that, is was a very good story, very interesting.

P.S. Of course, if you did stay true to the character, seeing Twilight gently let Luna down would have been horrible ending. That meant you would have to edit the story, making it more complex (more hidden romances like Rumble gay for Spike etc.) and potentially adding 5+ chapters to the story. Not something most people like to do, especially when they want to stop and move on to something else.

5561023

I actually consider this to be my worst story on the site here, since I just made it up as I went along, and I didn't learn the virtues of planning and editing just yet. Trust me, I've gotten a LOT better since then.

reading the last chapter at least it all comes together ive read Within the Seas of the Galaxies and that entire story is like the second half of the last chapter of this story expanded out majorly though i must say a dress like that would sure be a very beautiful sight to behold

5561023 i wouldnt go so far as to say twilight was out of character more along the lines of in extreme denial of her sexual persuasion

5688617

Which would have been fine if he had made the story more complex in terms of side plots; extending the story so that we can watch Twilight slowly find out that she was in fact bisexual or gay. But none of that happened. After a few events the time in-universe sped up to the grand finale where we saw Twilight do something she would not have done without some serious soul-searching. So, your explanation is only valid in a particular scenario that DID NOT happen.

P.S. Sorry if I pissed you off. This story had rubbed me the wrong way a little, and your post brought all those feelings back.

5690645
I admit, this story was not my best work. The original intention was for three chapters, and if you want the Twilight/Luna concept done right, you should read Within The Seas of The Galaxies, which was me taking that subplot and going all the way with it.

5696006

It's alright bro. I'm not as piqued at the story as you might think. I was just giving my two cents on your story, which I then defended. Your awesome man. Keep up the good work.

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