• Member Since 13th Aug, 2012
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Closer-To-The-Sun


You gotta kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.

E

“And I can tell just what you want,/You don't want to be alone.” –Two Door Cinema Club, ‘What You Know’

Rarity gets a letter from Prince Blueblood, asking for a second chance. Rarity is hesitant and asks for some help from her friends. But what does she want?

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 5 )

I'll be honest: it isn't as good as it could be. I can see your intentions, and you've made few grammatical and spelling errors, but the part of the story that lacks is substance. You only briefly touch on their first date, and very little happens. Why is Rarity so forgiving of Blueblood? Why has Blueblood suddenly started caring? What prompts Rarity's decision in the sixth chapter? You have it written as a series of events, but part of storytelling is explaining why things happen. As it stands, the story has potential, but it feels like you left out half of it.

1092514 I admit, this isn't one of my best. I guess I really could of done better on it when I was writing it, but also bear in mind it was one of my first fics written, and about a year ago. I won't make excuses about why it is as such, but thanks for the feedback, nevertheless.

It was good, but I really wanted to see more. You have this set up as if Blueblood was being impersonated the night of the gala. I was hoping for a cool explanation of how he was kidnapped by changelings or something and is now attempting to win over the mare of his dreams. Oh well, it was still a good story.

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