• Member Since 11th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

chaosknight72


Comments ( 45 )

Other than a few mistakes... this was romantic and sweet and a great rare ship... Luna x Spike needs a lot more love and this was amazing and quite hot I assure you :raritywink::rainbowwild:

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thanks alot to both of you, im glad you enjoyed it. sadly i didn't have an editor for this one but i am glad you still enjoyed it regardless

It's been a while since I last read a good SpiLuna fic. Congrats!

7733472 You can say that again, brother!

7733472 You can say that again, brother!

:raritydespair: All I got is business and no pleasure!
:trollestia: the Lunar Kingdom has a new heir
:moustache: I'm the royal fruit wrecker
:twilightoops:
:trollestia: All night long...:raritydespair:
:facehoof:

7733931 that literally made my day. Thank you

7733995 You handle Spike like a tool...A tool for goodness:pinkiehappy:

:facehoof:a sex tool?

:trollestia: A jack hammer? My sister of the night sends her thanks, many times over.
The night court will never be the same lame place it was.

Ohh, some nice steamy goodness. Wish there were more good SpikeLuna stories out there, but How To Raise Your Moon hasn't been updated in a while.

Afaik the rules forbid linking to nsfw material (I am talking about the cover pic's source), so it'd be best removed.

7734164 it's a temporary cover until I can finish the one I'm making for it. Thank you for the heads up

7734227
Oh, cover can stay. I was just talking about its source. Which is not the derpibooru link that you removed, but that one also led... places. So it's good that that's gone.

When you mouse over the cover pic, you will see a "Source" pop up in its lower right corner. Clicking leads to the not cropped picture. That source is what needs to go.

Saw the cover art and wondered who was gonna be "working" with Luna.

Me after seeing the only other tag: Spike!?

Never seen that before, I'll have to come back to this.

Some typos/suggestions

Rising from her bed and dawning the trappings of her regal visage, Luna exited her room into the grand hall ways of her wing of the castle.

hallway(s)

Looking outside, it was still a good ways into the early afternoon.

way

All of her lips were still rather tucked in close to her body, but at least she was now flat.

limbs

This time however, he knew what she licked.

liked(?)

“Wait a sec,” he said aloud to himself as he finished putting away the items from the message.

massage

Aids of honey and tea, flipping the pillow to it's cool side,

After the first lap had ran it's course

During her much need time of rest, the world carried on it's usual routine.

It's selling points were two fold. The first was it's form.

twofold

The whole shaft was glistening in some sort of self made lubricant that gave it it's luster. The second selling point, was a knot that formed just at it's base.

Spreading her core open with every inch that pushed it's way in. It's natural upward curve

"its" not "it is"/"it has"

7735023 thank you for that. Overall how did you like it?

along the pristen floor

That made me lel.
All in all, das pretty good. But you might want to check it for typos brah.

cunalingus, very light cum inflation
I don't know what these things are. But I guess I'll be finding out.

“Apologize Spike.

Did you mean, "Apologies, Spike."? For a moment I thought Luna was telling Spike to say he was sorry.
This is totally just a suggestion, but it might have sounded better as.'

“My apologies, Spike. We are most tired and have found sleep to be eluding at best and a vile temptress at worst,”

By the way, I've really been enjoying your writing style. It has a vibe Lucky can dig.

7735396 thanks for the suggestions. I'm going to edit when I wake up again

i ship it

Ah, the rare Spuna pairing. :moustache:

I have read plenty of great clop one-shots on this site, but rarely do I ever want to see the realationship explored further. This is most definitely one of those cases. I also highly enjoyed the use of Spike's piano skills. It's one of the reasons why I like to ship him with Sweetie Belle. To be honest, I feel like most people forget he can play the piano, or have any real skills period. It's disheartening.

I re-read it again. This deserves a sequel that explores a real relationship between Luna and Spike. I humbly offer my help if you ever decide to do it.

7736570 considering I've been a fan of yours sense your story Desires, I may just hit you up on that one. I already have an idea for a second chapter

7736732 yeah man, no bullshit.

orgasm through massage

Oh, God yes.

Your paragraphs are quite frankly enormous.

7742305 it's a bad habit of mine

His once pudgy belly giving way to a sleep stature...

"Sleek"

“Tell me young drake, where is your retainer?”

"Benefactor" or, possibly more appropriate to Luna, "regnant." Spike is Twilight's retainer.

"Apologize Spike."

Sounds like she's ordering him to do so. "I apologize, Spike," or "My apologies, Spike," would be more appropriate.

"So I asked the Spa Ponies Aloe and Lotus to teach me how to be a massage therapist."

It's a bit weird to see "Spa Ponies" treated like a title. Was that intended?

With a sequel, her wings fanned out in a stiffened state.

"Squeal."

"Though it dose sting a bit,"

"Does." And I think this isn't the only place this typo occurs.

With slow presses and gentle racks of his claws...

"Rakes."

...Grand Piano hoof crafted from the oldest of trees...

"...Grand Piano, hoof-crafted from..."

I think 7735023 got the rest.

7755237 I belive so to. I did aquire an editor so hopefully an edited version will be making a debut soon. Thank you for reading and your keen eye

cover link? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Love this pairing and this story was simply amazing. Most excellent.

This is probably the best Spike X Luna fanfic I have ever read. I have no words on how it amazing it was, it just made me want to read it everyday. I hope to see more of your stories and I shall give this fanfic a 10/10 best read. :pinkiehappy:

Despite the various errors mentioned above, this story really worked overall and I enjoyed it! Always happy to see such an underrated and underused pairing. I saw much potential in this story! :twilightsmile:

very, very good. Luna's word choice was odd since it's the most old fashioned that I've seen of any story but it was fun. One of the hottest stories I've seen, you're really good with your descriptions.

I'm sorry, I couldn't get very far into this. I don't mean to be blunt, but you really need to get a proof-reader. Not to mention your paragraphs are absolutely massive, which makes it difficult to read.

For instance, there is a point in the story where Luna considers going to Ponyville, decides she will, informs her sister, watches as her sister writes a letter, exits the castle, greets the guards, gets in the chariot, and flies all the way to Ponyville, all in a SINGLE paragraph. That was dizzying to read.

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I appreciate the feedback

Heh, even with the errors that I'm sure plenty of readers have already mentioned; this was a lovely n' enjoyable story read :twilightsmile:

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My writing skills still need work. But I'm glad you and all the others have enjoyed it

Really romantic with how Spike shows off his skills and Luna just falling for him pretty much.
Wished it did got a second chapter there

Please make a sequel!!!! Please!! I would really like to see like to read what they would do with future visits.

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