As Clockwerk collapsed, Sly was able to snag the last bit of the Thievius Raccoonus from him, finally having collected the entire tome and restoring the family legacy. He and Coco settled on the edge of a metal bridge jutting out over the caldera of the volcano, watching as the pieces of his body fell into the magma. It wasn't long before Bentley, Murray, and Carmelita caught up to them there.
"That's him dealt with," Carmelita observed calmly as Coco hopped off Sly's shoulder, heading to join Bentley and Murray in the van.
"Indeed it is," Sly agreed. "And...my father avenged. And his legacy recovered." He lifted the completed tome with a soft smile, caressing the leather cover, his fingertips running over the gold engravings.
Carmelita sighed softly, then lifted her stun cannon. "And now I have to pursue you again," she stated firmly, handcuffs held in her free hand. "If I let you go without trying to catch you..."
"I know, I know," Sly agreed. "Besides, being chased my whole life by a lady as pretty as you? I'm hardly one to complain."
Carmelita chuckled softly. "Really not an appropriate time for flirting," she chided gently.
Sly found himself smirking. He'd noticed Carmelita tended to shift her mindset completely for whatever she was doing. She was either all business, all motherly, or...well, that was a pleasant memory for another time. "How about that ten second head start you promised?"
Carmelita smirked. "Starts now. 10..."
As the countdown went down, Sly slowly sauntered up to Carmelita, a flirtatious grin on his face. Carmelita grew more confused as he approached, her count becoming less firm and more concerned, her stun cannon lifted slightly. And then at "one", Sly lunged in, locking lips with Carmelita for a deep, passionate kiss. Her entire body relaxed as she stared in stupefaction as he pulled away. He'd never taken the lead in showing affection before. "S-Sly..." she stammered out.
Sly grinned widely. "Zero," he whispered as he leapt over her, bouncing from a nearby rock pinnacle straight into the van before it drove off.
Carmelita blinked in surprise, then turned to go, only to find her gun hand pulled up short. Turning, she saw she was now cuffed to the bridge. She knew, even with the keys in her pocket, Sly and the others would be long gone by the time she could get on the trail. "I'll get you for that, Ringtail..." she growled irritably under her breath. To her relief, the key actually was still in her pocket...
While I was glad we'd successfully restored the family tome - not the least of which because it meant I finally got to have dessert again - I didn't really like Dad doing that to Mom on the way out. Mom didn't like it much either. As such, when she did catch up with us unofficially, she told Dad in no uncertain terms that he was to find a qualified therapist for us all to see for 'family counseling'. This was not to say we were a broken or damaged family, just that we had our problems, and Mom wanted them dealt with before we became broken or damaged because of them.
As it turned out, Dad happened to know of one, a therapist who made his services available specifically to the criminal element and those connected to it, so their mental issues couldn't be used against them. The only requirement to see him was to respect his rules...and share no specifics.
(1)
The short, stocky, white weasel straightened his glasses on his nose as he stared at those gathered in his office...well, his office for this particular line of work, anyway. He had others, but that was neither here nor there. "Hello everyone," he stated softly. "I can't say I'm entirely pleased that this session includes a suit, however good she looks in it." He stared at Carmelita flatly.
"That's my Mommy!" Coco piped up happily. "I'm Coco! What's your name?"
"I have many," the weasel responded bluntly. "But for this, you can call me Mozzie(2). Now, I've done family counseling before, and I've found in these situations, the truest answers come from the children. So, Coco, tell me about your father."
"He steals things!" Coco explained happily.
Recognizing this was a little too close to the line of specifics, Sly spoke up to make it more vague. "What she means is that I'm a...recovery specialist. When people have things they shouldn't, I...relieve them of those things, whether valuables or information."
"I see," Mozzie allowed, pushing his glasses up his nose again as he took notes. Not that he was unaware of the Cooper reputation, but how his patients presented themselves often revealed new insights. "And your mother, Coco?" he continued.
"She yells and shoots at Daddy when he works!" she responded immediately with a wide grin.
Carmelita frowned, not really liking that painting of her relationship with Sly. She decided to try and put a positive spin on it. "What she means is...I'm his handler," she offered finally. "He has a tendency to...do his own thing on mission, and it takes a mix of positive and negative reinforcement to make him behave. He...rather enjoys being chased, so that works for both."
Mozzie hid his amusement. As suits went, this one didn't seem to be so bad...and not just because she was very easy on the eyes and dressed to enhance that. "And your Uncles?" he asked Coco, gesturing to Bentley and Murray.
"Uncle Bentley hacks, and Uncle Murray beats people up and drives really fast!" Coco replied happily, beginning to enjoy watching her family squirm to cover her bluntness.
"She means I'm a data recovery specialist," Bentley explained quickly.
"And I'm a bouncer, and I drive our van," Murray added.
Mozzie nodded. "Coco, I can't help but notice your family is...rather mixed. Now, there's nothing wrong with this, but given your own differences I must ask...are you adopted?"
Coco sighed sadly, not liking these particular memories. "Mommy and Daddy picked me up when an evil overlord tried using me to power a gate to my homeworld."
Mozzie blinked, and turned to stare at Sly and Carmelita. This particular explanation was just so far outside his concept of reality he didn't know how to react.
Sly sighed softly. "She was kidnapped..."
"And her home was...gone," Carmelita concluded, gently pulling Coco into a motherly hug.
"Oh. I'm...sorry," Mozzie apologized. Noticing Sly immediately going to Carmelita's side to join in hugging Coco, he idly rubbed his chin. They do seem to make a good couple, and I have seen these sorts of things work... "I have to ask...are you two married?"
Carmelita's head jerked up. "What? No!" she snapped out emphatically.
"No!" Sly confirmed, sounding very intense.
Mozzie blinked in surprise. Equal intensity refusal on both, but different emotional drives. Curious. Well, I do need to see why... "Children do grow best in single unit households. For Coco's sake, I would suggest-"
"I can't be held responsible if you finish that sentence, and I didn't come equipped for capture," Carmelita interrupted.
"-we put a pin in this topic for now," Mozzie concluded nervously. This was going to take a while...
(1) Thanks to Philosophysics for this scene idea and dialogue base. Comment found here.
(2) Bonus points for anyone who recognizes the TV show I drew inspiration for this character from.
no words would describe how hard I was laughing by the end of this chapter...so here's a video clip to do it for me:
No idea on what you based him off of.
Let's face it, Carmelita wasn't going to let them weasel their way out of this one.
Coco's blunt attitude compliments her sharp wit.
Guess that single thought at the end was pinned by foxy circumstances.
(2) so uhh, is it referencing I am Weasel? It's actually the only show I can think of that might fit even if the colour scheme is different.
Hmm... I don't understand the reference... sadly.
But awesome job on this dude! Hahaha, quite awesome saucy~
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You're looking at it from the wrong direction.
I will say it's inspired by a character from a live-action TV show.
He wouldn't happen to be from White Collar, would he?
7802254
the TV show White Collar
7802264 It was easy to guess. Still nice easter egg
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7802264
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Yup. Mozzie from White Collar.
7802304 Oh shit, that's right! Man, been so long since I watched that.
OOO good as always
That last part with the interruption was funny. Coco was so devious with her bluntness
7802304 Thought it might be, but wasn't sure (So I flexed my Google-Fu). I only ever saw something like two episodes of the first season but the core characters were memorable even if I don't remember their names.
7802254 While I approve of this chapter, it gave me the lolz, I can't believe you missed a chance for a Dr Wolf cameo
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/the-rift-cafe/images/f/f1/DRWolf001.png/revision/latest?cb=20150312205145
Mozzie is from White Coller, right?
so white collar
Question: Dose this weasel bum wine from fellow "ahem" resource redistributers and still love bubble gum ice cream?
But that might be hitting it right on the bread basket or a little to white collar for some.
Well if it is the same weasel then family therapist can be added to his expanding talents, right next to art restorer and midwife.
7802695 Damn you're right...
TATS!!! YOU DUN GOOFED!!!
7802695 yup, but mozzie is still good
I'm glad you actually gave the name, but I think I might have gotten it just from the fact that he calls Carmelita "suit" along with the knowledge that he was in fact based off a tv show character. Mozzie was great. Loved him. Now I am reading all his lines with Mozzie's voice.
Neil and... "Suit" because I can't remember his name, were also awesome. Any chance we see either of them? Maybe Sly and Co. see them coming to or leaving from therapy themselves. XD
Very amusing chapter, especially the way Coco describers her family members.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
That sence would have been better with Dr. Wolf
White Collar was an awesome show, too bad it ended...
7802304 Does that mean we may get a burn notice Easter egg later on?
now for the second game to get da ponehz ^3^
7806569 So far there isn't a "next game" but I feel that it may not be the end of Sly nor any other time shenanigans.
Like, seriously, what can kill a Cooper? ...well besides age, time traveling rivals, and a metal hawk? You may kill a Cooper but there will always be one left.
MWAHAHAHA YES! I AM ... What's it called? Confirmed?
7840770 I know what it is. it's from the cartoon Cow and Chicken, but the weasel is from the short cartoon (as much as i remember.) "I am weasel"
MOZZIE!!!!
For some reason for Murray I go into a Italian Tough guy accent when I read it aloud...
Mozzie the Weasel... THANK YOU WHITE COLLAR!!! XDXDXDXDXDXD
Luckily
I still can't get over Mozzie the Weasel, and this is my second time reading through. I've never forgotten him, and I don't think I'll ever want too. Tats, you're a genius.
My mom and dad love White Collar, to the point we named one of our pets Mozzie, so if that is the one you are referring to, awesome!
Mozzie from White Collar
He is from white collar right
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To a degree. He does show up in other shows. Like Hawaii 5’o
This should be a thing for both sides of the line.
How Funny is it that when i read about a white furred Mustelid, I immediately think of Nezu/Nedzu from Boku no Hero Academia?